Applied Psychological Services, PLLC

03/31/2026

When that hollow feeling shows up after a hard moment in your relationship, the urge to fill it is automatic — text again, explain more, fix it, or pull away.

Here's a different move: stay one beat longer before you react. One breath. Notice your feet on the floor. Let the quiet sit just a little longer than feels comfortable.

You're not ignoring the relationship. You're letting your nervous system settle — and that's you controlling you, not your emotions controlling you.

That small pause teaches your body that silence isn't danger. Over time, it gets easier. It's a skill worth building.

If you feel emotions deeply, that drop after the spike feels even more intense. That doesn't mean you want chaos — it means your body shifts strongly and needs a moment to ease. Work with it.
What's one situation where this pause could have changed things for you? Drop it in the comments.

03/28/2026

New series just dropped — and this one is different. 🎬
If you've ever wondered why love feels conditional, why you can't fully relax in a relationship, or why closeness sometimes feels more terrifying than being alone — this series is for you.
Episode 1 is live now. Link

Playlist Series Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaZELV1Tbq-NOp6VC8O_f8KextRNHODwtSeries: Why You Can’t Relax in RelationshipsEpisode 1: When Lov...

03/25/2026

When love feels fragile, you do not relax. You stay on alert because your system learned that connection can change fast. This is not overreacting. It is what happens when emotional safety has felt uncertain.

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03/24/2026

When abandonment feels possible, waiting can feel dangerous. You may react, pull away, or try to protect yourself before anything even happens. That is not you wanting chaos. It is what happens when your system learned that connection could disappear.

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03/24/2026

https://youtube.com/shorts/VKMxv626sb4?feature=share

Video on workbook to help those with BPD in their relationships!!

03/22/2026

Sometimes competitiveness doesn’t look competitive at all.

In covert narcissism, it can show up as **support that subtly undermines you**. Compliments may carry comparison. Encouragement may shift attention back to them. What looks like help can quietly become a way to compete.

This pattern is often confusing because the behavior is framed as kindness or concern. But over time, it can leave you feeling diminished, doubting yourself, or questioning why support never fully lands.

Recognizing covert competitiveness helps you see the dynamic more clearly and understand why those interactions may feel unsettling.

03/19/2026

http://youtube.com/post/Ugkxrrgq3PXfFR8N9PWoNfFQIJG8IkQbpSy3?si=N2C3IRJX9Lk2c0fv

Most people try to fix their relationship by changing the other person. But the pattern didn't start with them. It started somewhere you're probably not look...

03/19/2026

Sometimes depression doesn’t feel like sadness.

It can feel like heaviness, shutting down, or losing motivation—even when nothing obvious went wrong.

This is often why people feel confused by it. You may have been coping, managing responsibilities, and holding things together for a long time. Then the low mood shows up and it feels random—or even personal.

Understanding that depression can show up this way can help reduce the self-blame that often follows.

depression

03/17/2026

Latest video on recurring depression. Link in bio and today’s story.

03/17/2026

Low moods can happen in borderline personality disorder, but many of them are **depressive spirals**, not major depressive disorder.

A depressive spiral is often a **state-based response** that rises after emotional overload or relational stress and can shift when emotional conditions change.

Major depressive disorder is different. It is deeper, more persistent, and affects a person’s ability to function and care for themselves.

Understanding this distinction can help you better recognize what’s happening and respond in a way that actually fits the experience.

03/16/2026

Depression and boredom can look very similar.

When nothing feels interesting, it’s easy to assume you’re depressed. But boredom and depression are not the same experience, and confusing them can send you in the wrong direction.

If you treat depression like boredom, you may push productivity and stimulation until you burn out. If you treat boredom like depression, you may withdraw and reduce stimulation, which can make you feel even more disconnected.

The label matters because the direction you take next depends on it.

03/12/2026

Repair happens more often than you realize.

In healthy relationships, conflict isn’t the end of connection. Disagreements, misunderstandings, and emotional reactions happen between people who care about each other.

What matters most is what happens after.

Repair is when someone comes back, acknowledges what happened, and works to reconnect. It’s the moment when the relationship moves from tension back toward understanding.

Healthy relationships aren’t defined by the absence of conflict. They’re defined by the ability to repair.