Applied Psychological Services, PLLC

12/07/2025

The Idealization Trap

Sometimes you hold on to someone because you’re hoping the “good version” of them will come back. That hope feels real—almost like catnip. It keeps you chasing the idea of repair, even when the relationship is already over.

This video explains why idealization makes letting go so hard and how it blocks you from new chances to grow, connect, and feel calm again.

You’re not weak for holding on. You’re human.

12/04/2025

Available now at AMAZON!! If relationships feel intense, confusing, or overwhelming at times, you’re not alone. The BPD Relationships Workbook is designed to help you understand your patterns, reduce shame, calm emotional swings, and build healthier, more stable connections.
This workbook gives you practical tools to navigate favorite person dynamics, abandonment fears, communication challenges, and the push-pull cycle without losing yourself in the process.
Whether you’re beginning your healing journey or deep into it, these strategies help you move toward clarity, steadiness, and emotional safety.

12/02/2025

Why Letting Go Feels Like Losing Yourself

When your attachment becomes part of your identity, letting go feels dangerous.
It’s not “just a breakup.”
It feels like you’re losing a piece of yourself.

People with insecure attachment—especially preoccupied or fearful–avoidant—often move between wanting closeness and needing distance to feel safe. And when the relationship ends, your sense of identity can fall apart.

Dr. Fox explains how this happens, how the “family in the head” keeps you scared, and why reaching out feels like survival, not drama.

If this hits home, you’re not alone. You can learn how to build safety inside yourself—not just inside a relationship.

11/30/2025

Love bombing?

11/29/2025

https://youtu.be/Nu1n_otEmnc

When your partner’s criticism hits harder than it should, it might not be about them—it could be about your past. This video explains how narcissistic parent...

11/27/2025

It’s really hard when your primary care doctor is the one guiding your mental health, but they don’t really understand BPD. You may feel unseen, rushed, or reduced to meds and quick check-ins. And that can make you feel like your real struggle isn’t being recognized at all.

It’s not because you’re “too much.” Most doctors were never trained in BPD. But you still deserve care that sees your complexity. If the fit isn’t right, you can ask for more support or ask about Good Psychiatric Management.

You deserve to feel understood — not invisible.

11/25/2025

You can make real progress in therapy and still get hit by big emotions.
One small comment or rejection can bring back emptiness, shame, or fear of being left. That doesn’t mean you’re starting over. It means an old trigger showed up.

You can take responsibility for what happened, apologize if needed, and still keep moving forward. A setback doesn’t erase your healing.

If someone else can’t move on, that’s their part — not yours.

11/16/2025

Rejection vs Abandonment - What’s the Real Difference?

Rejection and abandonment are not the same thing, even though they may feel similar. If you live with BPD traits or the disorder, knowing the difference can ...

11/13/2025

What rejection really means.
Rejection is a moment, not a definition of your worth.
It’s when someone says, “No,” and that “no” can sting—
but it’s not proof that you’re unworthy.

Rejection is specific and situational:
you didn’t get the job, the date, the approval, the yes.
That’s all it is—one event, one boundary, one outcome.

When you start seeing rejection as an event, not an identity,
you free yourself from carrying every “no” like a wound.

Say it to yourself today:
👉 “That was a rejection, not a reflection.”

11/11/2025

When you feel rejected, it can sting — but abandonment hits deeper.
Rejection is an event.
Abandonment is a story that keeps replaying.

That’s why rejection can trigger abandonment fears — especially if your sense of worth depends on others. When that happens, your mind can turn into a storm, and every gust feels personal.

🌀 The key is learning to re-anchor your worth internally, not in someone else’s approval.
Start small: name what’s yours to hold and what’s not.

You’re not a leaf in the wind. You’re the tree. 🌳

11/09/2025

Retroactive jealousy isn’t about what’s happening now — it’s old pain resurfacing.
When you live with BPD, a comment or memory can feel like a new betrayal.
Pause before reacting.
Tell yourself: “This feeling is old. I’m safe now.” 🩶

11/06/2025

It Feels Like Betrayal

It’s not about what your partner’s doing now — it’s what their past wakes up inside you.
Retroactive jealousy isn’t proof of betrayal. It’s your old wounds being touched again.
And when you have BPD, that old pain can feel as real as what’s happening today.