02/16/2026
💕This might surprise you, but as a Marriage Therapist, I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.
Cecilia here.
No roses.
No chocolate.
No dinner reservations.
No “Happy Valentine’s Day”.
Just hot coffee in bed and unfiltered truth. That’s it.
When Aaron and I got engaged, I didn't ask for a fairytale - I asked for the grit. I told him: “I don’t want the hype. I want you to be honest with me no matter what, love me well every day, and be my caffeine slinger.” 😜
And he’s honored that.
So on Valentine’s Day? I woke up with a steaming mug and a kiss - like I do every morning. Last week, he shared some honesty that I didn’t like but needed to hear…No pressure to act like a happy couple - just the quiet, bone-deep reality of actually being one.
It’s not lost on me how rare this is.
I think we’ve all been sold a lie. We get so caught up in the theatre of love - instagram worthy couple photos - the high-production romantic moments - that we lose the actual pulse of the person sitting across from us. We trade 364 days of intimacy for one day of hype.
And look - no shade if yall have the 4-course meal and the cute couple post. If that’s your love language and it’s backed by a raw, soul-deep connection? I’m obsessed with that for you! Get your flowers, sis.
But for the rest of us feeling the suffocating pressure to perform or feeling disappointed because the day didn’t turn out as we’d hoped, remember that a marriage isn’t built on what you do once a year. It’s built in the boring, gritty, transparent messy moments in between.
So I’m challenging the "fine" in your relationship today:
• Are you trading a real, honest connection for a "comfortable" silence?
• Are you showing up as your messy self, or a curated version of who you think they want?
• What would it look like to prioritize radical transparency over a holiday tradition?
Because the truth heals.🌊
