03/27/2026
First, youâre not a bad parent.
If you feel triggered by your childâs body at any point, youâre normal.
Youâre a product of a culture that has spent decades plus telling us that smaller bodies are better bodies. That weight gain is something to fear. That bodies growing and changing is bad.
So most of us have âstuffâ around bodies⊠sizes, shapes, growth, and more.
It can feel like a lot. Not only our thoughts about their body, but then the guilt that we feel about having judgment or feeling triggered - because we love them â„ïž
And hereâs what else I know to be true - so much of what we feel in those moments isnât really about our kids. Itâs about us.
Itâs the worry that theyâll be bullied. That theyâll feel left out. That they wonât feel confident. That theyâll carry the same pain we did.
We want to protect them.
But hereâs the thing⊠our kids FEEL everything. They feel our discomfort even when we donât say a word, or we try and say the ârightâ words.
And if weâre dysregulated, we cannot show up for them the way they need us to or that we want to.
The only way to be truly present with our kids as their bodies change is to do our own work first.
And their bodies will change. At all different stages, and especially during puberty.
That means working on neutralizing ALL bodies - all shapes, sizes, colors, abilities⊠not just theirs. Ours. The strangerâs on the street. The personâs at the pool. All of them.
When ALL bodies become neutral, we can see that in our kids too. And thatâs when we can actually sit with them. Hold space for them. Be the safe place they need đ©”
