09/30/2020
Thanks, Kathie Adams and Evanston Family Therapy Center
"When “boundaries” is used as an organizing metaphor for the ethics of relationships, certain discourses are brought into play while others are crowded out. For example, the discourse of separation and individuation is valued at the expense of the discourses of interdependence, collaboration, and community that many feminist writers have argued for so persuasively.
During our stay in South Africa, we noticed over and over how boundary language functions like apartheid. Boundaries are about separation. They invite us to relate to people on the other side as “other,” as foreign. It is hard for us to think about boundaries without thinking of the “separate but equal” policies that flourished in the United States before Brown vs. the Board of Education and of the remnants of those policies that still affect our culture. The language of boundaries partakes of the discourses that support individual ownership of property and individual rights, and works against those discourses that support shared stewardship and the rights of communities. Making boundaries our central focus in deciding what is and is not ethical in our relationships can keep us from critically examining the effects of distance, withdrawal, non-participation, and related issues."
- Gene Combs & Jill Freedman. Relationships, not Boundaries. Theoretical Medicine 23, 2002. p 205-206.