http://mindovermattercounseling.org/

Mind Over Matter Counseling Solutions, LLC, 219 W College Street, Troy, MO (2026)

02/25/2026

Urge Surfing 🌊: You Don’t Have to Act on Every Urge

An urge can feel intense. Immediate. Overpowering.
Whether it’s the urge to lash out, shut down, text them, overeat, use a substance, or avoid something uncomfortable — urges rise fast.

But here’s the truth:
Urges are waves. And waves peak… then pass.

That’s where urge surfing comes in.

💡 What Is Urge Surfing?

Urge surfing is a distress tolerance skill (often used in DBT) that teaches you to:
• Notice the urge
• Observe it without acting on it
• Ride it out until it naturally decreases

Instead of fighting the urge or giving in to it, you surf it.

🌊 How to Practice Urge Surfing

1️⃣ Notice the Urge
Pause and name it:
“I’m noticing the urge to ___.”

2️⃣ Rate the Intensity
On a scale of 1–10, how strong is it?

3️⃣ Observe Without Judgment
Where do you feel it in your body?
Tight chest? Restless hands? Racing thoughts?
Describe it like a scientist, not a critic.

4️⃣ Breathe & Visualize the Wave
Imagine the urge as an ocean wave.
It rises… peaks… and slowly falls.

5️⃣ Set a Timer for 10 Minutes
Tell yourself you’ll revisit the decision after the wave passes.

🌿 Why It Works

✔️ Builds impulse control
✔️ Reduces reactive behavior
✔️ Strengthens emotional regulation
✔️ Increases confidence in handling discomfort

Remember:
An urge is not a command.
It’s a temporary sensation.

You are allowed to pause.
You are capable of riding the wave.

— The Therapists at Mind Over Matter Counseling 💛

02/24/2026

You Can’t Heal What You Don’t Feel 💛
Let’s talk about emotion exploration.

Many of us were taught to push feelings down, “stay strong,” or move on quickly. But emotions don’t disappear when we ignore them — they show up in our stress levels, relationships, sleep, and even our bodies.

💡 What Is Emotion Exploration?

Emotion exploration is the practice of:
• Noticing what you’re feeling
• Naming it accurately
• Understanding where it’s coming from
• Identifying what it might need

It’s not about overanalyzing — it’s about increasing awareness.

🌿 Why It Matters

When we explore our emotions, we:
✔️ Build emotional intelligence
✔️ Improve communication
✔️ Reduce reactive behavior
✔️ Strengthen relationships
✔️ Increase self-understanding

Emotions carry information. They’re signals, not weaknesses.

✨ Tips to Explore Your Emotions

🧠 Pause & Check In
Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now?

📖 Expand Your Feeling Vocabulary
Instead of just “mad” or “sad,” try frustrated, disappointed, overwhelmed, rejected, embarrassed, anxious.

🗣 Get Curious, Not Critical
“What triggered this?”
“What story am I telling myself?”
“What does this feeling need — comfort, boundaries, rest, clarity?”

📝 Write It Out
Journaling can help untangle mixed emotions and patterns.

🌬 Notice It in Your Body
Tight chest? Heavy shoulders? Upset stomach? Your body often knows before your mind does.

You don’t have to fix every feeling.
You just have to be willing to notice it.

Emotional awareness is the first step toward emotional regulation. 💫

Call us today and let us support you in your journey in mental wellness (636) 528-1488.

— The Therapists at Mind Over Matter Counseling

02/23/2026

Feeling Stressed? Try Progressive Muscle Relaxation 💆‍♀️✨

When stress builds up, your body holds it — tight jaw, stiff shoulders, clenched fists, upset stomach.
Sometimes your body is tense before you even realize your mind is overwhelmed.

That’s where Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) comes in.

💡 What Is Progressive Muscle Relaxation?

PMR is a calming technique that involves:
• Intentionally tensing muscle groups
• Then slowly releasing them
• Noticing the difference between tension and relaxation

It helps your nervous system shift from “fight or flight” into “rest and reset.”

🌿 How You Can Benefit

PMR can:
✔️ Reduce anxiety and physical tension
✔️ Improve sleep
✔️ Increase body awareness
✔️ Decrease headaches and stress-related pain
✔️ Help you feel more grounded and in control

It’s simple, evidence-based, and can be done almost anywhere.

🧘‍♀️ Try This 3–5 Minute PMR Exercise:

Take a slow breath in through your nose… and out through your mouth.

1️⃣ Hands & Arms
Clench your fists tightly for 5 seconds…
Notice the tension…
Now release.
Feel the difference.

2️⃣ Shoulders
Shrug your shoulders up toward your ears for 5 seconds…
Hold…
Release and let them drop.

3️⃣ Jaw & Face
Gently clench your jaw and scrunch your face for 5 seconds…
Release.
Let your face soften.

4️⃣ Stomach
Tighten your stomach muscles for 5 seconds…
Release and let your belly relax.

5️⃣ Legs & Feet
Press your toes into the floor and tighten your legs for 5 seconds…
Release.

Finish with one slow, deep breath.

Notice how your body feels now compared to when you started.

Relaxation is a skill — and like any skill, it gets stronger with practice. 💛
Your body deserves moments of reset.

— The Therapists at Mind Over Matter Counseling

02/22/2026

“I” Statements: Say What You Feel Without Starting a Fight 💬✨

Ever notice how quickly conversations escalate when they start with:
“You always…”
“You never…”
“You make me…”

Those phrases often trigger defensiveness — and the real issue gets lost.

That’s where “I” statements come in.

💡 Why “I” Statements Matter

“I” statements help you:
✔️ Take ownership of your feelings
✔️ Reduce blame and defensiveness
✔️ Communicate clearly and respectfully
✔️ Strengthen relationships
✔️ Resolve conflict more effectively

They shift the focus from attacking the person to expressing the experience.

🛠 How to Use an “I” Statement

A simple formula:

I feel… (emotion)
When… (specific behavior/situation)
Because… (impact)
I would appreciate… (clear request, if needed)

✨ Examples

Instead of:
❌ “You never help around the house.”

Try:
✅ “I feel overwhelmed when the housework piles up because it feels like I’m managing it alone. I’d appreciate help with the dishes tonight.”

Instead of:
❌ “You don’t listen to me.”

Try:
✅ “I feel unheard when I’m interrupted because what I’m sharing is important to me.”

Clear. Calm. Connected.

Healthy communication isn’t about winning — it’s about understanding.

If you need support in healthier communication patterns, call us today. (636) 528-1488.

— The Therapists at Mind Over Matter Counseling 💛

02/21/2026

Reflective Listening: The Skill That Makes People Feel Heard 👂💬

Have you ever shared something important… and the other person jumped straight to advice?
Or changed the subject?
Or misunderstood what you meant?

That’s where reflective listening comes in.

💡 What Is Reflective Listening?

Reflective listening is when you intentionally:
• Listen to understand — not to respond
• Reflect back what you heard
• Validate the emotion behind the words

It sounds like:
👉 “It sounds like you felt really overlooked in that situation.”
👉 “So what I’m hearing is that you’re overwhelmed and unsure what to do next.”
👉 “That must have been frustrating.”

🌱 Why It’s So Important

Reflective listening:
✔️ Builds trust and emotional safety
✔️ Reduces defensiveness
✔️ Strengthens relationships
✔️ Prevents miscommunication
✔️ Helps people feel valued and understood

Often, people don’t need solutions first.
They need to feel understood.

✨ How to Practice It

Pause your urge to fix.

Paraphrase what you heard.

Name the emotion if you can.

Ask, “Did I get that right?”

Feeling heard is healing.
And sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is, “I’m listening.”

— The Therapists at Mind Over Matter Counseling 💛

02/20/2026

Communication Styles Matter More Than You Think 🗣️

Ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “That’s not what I meant…” or “They just don’t get me.”

It might not be what you said — it could be how it was communicated.

💬 What Are Communication Styles?

Communication styles are the ways we express our thoughts, needs, and emotions. Most fall into four categories:

Passive – Avoiding conflict, not expressing needs clearly

Aggressive – Expressing needs in a way that dismisses or overpowers others

Passive-Aggressive – Indirect expression (sarcasm, silent treatment, mixed messages)

Assertive – Clear, respectful, confident communication that honors both self and others

💡 Why They Matter

Your communication style impacts:
✔️ Relationships
✔️ Workplace dynamics
✔️ Parenting
✔️ Conflict resolution
✔️ Emotional safety

Healthy communication builds trust. Unclear or reactive communication creates distance.

🌱 Tips for More Effective Communication

✨ Pause before responding. Regulate first, respond second.
✨ Use “I” statements. (“I feel overwhelmed when…” vs. “You always…”)
✨ Clarify instead of assuming. (“Can you help me understand what you meant?”)
✨ Listen to understand, not to win.
✨ Pay attention to tone and body language. They speak louder than words.

Assertive communication isn’t about being loud — it’s about being clear and respectful.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s connection. 💛

— The Therapists at Mind Over Matter Counseling

02/19/2026

🌿 Understanding Your Nervous System & How to Reset It 🌿

Have you ever felt your heart race, your chest tighten, or your mind spiral — even when you weren’t in real danger?

That’s your nervous system at work.

Your nervous system has two main modes:

🚨 Fight/Flight (Sympathetic System)
Activated when your brain senses stress or threat.
You may feel anxious, irritable, tense, overwhelmed, or on edge.

🕊️ Rest & Digest (Parasympathetic System)
Activated when you feel safe and calm.
Breathing slows, muscles relax, and your body can think clearly again.

The key word is perceived threat. Your nervous system doesn’t always know the difference between a true emergency and a stressful email.

The good news? You can intentionally help your body reset.

✨ Grounding Techniques to Calm Your System:

• 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
Name
5 things you see
4 things you feel
3 things you hear
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste

• Box Breathing
Inhale 4 seconds
Hold 4 seconds
Exhale 4 seconds
Hold 4 seconds — repeat

• Temperature Reset
Hold an ice cube or splash cool water on your face. This can quickly interrupt the stress response.

• Movement
A short walk, stretching, or even shaking out your hands can help discharge built-up stress energy.

• Orienting
Slowly look around and remind yourself: “I am safe right now.”

Regulation doesn’t mean you’ll never feel stress. It means you know how to bring your body back to safety.

Your body isn’t working against you — it’s trying to protect you. 🌿

At Mind Over Matter Counseling Solutions, we teach practical tools to help clients understand their nervous system and build confidence in calming it. Let us help you find your calm. Call us today (636) 528-1488.

02/18/2026

🧠💛 Supporting Your Child with ADHD 💛🧠

Parenting a child with ADHD can feel overwhelming at times — but with understanding and the right tools, you can become their greatest support system.

First, remember:
ADHD is not defiance.
It’s not laziness.
It’s not a lack of intelligence.

It’s a difference in how the brain regulates attention, impulses, emotions, and executive functioning.

✨ Ways to Support Your Child:

• Focus on connection first. A regulated parent helps create a regulated child.
• Give clear, simple instructions — one step at a time.
• Use visual schedules and routines to reduce overwhelm.
• Provide structure, but stay flexible.
• Offer specific praise (“I noticed you started your homework without being asked — great job!”).
• Incorporate movement breaks — their brains often focus better after moving their bodies.
• Help them externalize organization (planners, checklists, labeled bins).
• Teach emotional regulation skills, not just behavior correction.

Children with ADHD often hear more correction than encouragement. Be intentional about noticing their strengths — creativity, humor, energy, curiosity, problem-solving.

Most importantly, remind them:
“You’re not bad. Your brain just works differently — and we can learn how to work with it.”

At Mind Over Matter Counseling Solutions, we partner with parents to build practical tools, emotional regulation skills, and confidence for both you and your child. Call us today (636) 528-1488.

You don’t have to navigate this alone. 💛

02/17/2026

🧠 Therapist Education Spotlight: Understanding ADHD 🧠

ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is more than just being distracted or “hyper.” It’s a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how the brain manages attention, impulses, motivation, and executive functioning.

ADHD can show up as:
• Difficulty sustaining focus
• Forgetfulness or losing items
• Procrastination or trouble starting tasks
• Impulsivity
• Restlessness
• Struggles with time management and organization

It’s important to understand: ADHD is not a character flaw. It’s not laziness. It’s not a lack of intelligence. Many individuals with ADHD are creative, intuitive, energetic, and innovative — their brains simply process and prioritize information differently.

💡 Why It Matters
Without support, ADHD can impact school, work performance, relationships, and self-esteem. Many individuals grow up internalizing negative labels, which can lead to anxiety, depression, or feelings of inadequacy.

✨ Helpful Strategies for Managing ADHD:
• Break tasks into smaller, clear steps
• Use timers (like the 10–20 minute rule)
• Create visual reminders and checklists
• Keep consistent routines
• Limit distractions when possible
• Practice body-based regulation (movement breaks help!)
• Consider professional support and, when appropriate, medication management

ADHD looks different in children vs. adults — and it can present differently in females, often going undiagnosed due to more internalized symptoms.

At Mind Over Matter Counseling Solutions, we provide psychoeducation, coping tools, and individualized support to help clients better understand their brains and build strategies that work for their unique strengths.

✨ When we understand how the brain works, we can work with it — not against it.

If you’d like to learn more or schedule an appointment, we’re here to help. Call us today (636) 528-1488.

02/16/2026

Presidents Day: Leadership, Legacy & Reflection

Presidents Day is often seen as a long weekend or a day for great sales — but it also gives us a moment to reflect on leadership.

Leadership isn’t only about holding an office.
It’s about integrity.
It’s about resilience.
It’s about making decisions during difficult moments.

In our own lives, we are the leaders of our thoughts, choices, and growth.

Just like strong leaders:
✨ We face challenges.
✨ We learn from mistakes.
✨ We adapt and grow.

Mental health plays a powerful role in leadership — whether at home, at work, or in our communities. Emotional awareness, healthy boundaries, and thoughtful decision-making are all part of leading well.

Today can be a reminder to pause and ask:
• How am I leading my life?
• Am I responding thoughtfully or reacting emotionally?
• What values guide my decisions?

Growth doesn’t require perfection — it requires intention.

From all of us at Mind Over Matter Counseling Solutions, we hope you take a moment today to reflect, reset, and recharge.

02/15/2026

🌿 Sunday Reset 🌿

Sundays are more than just the end of the weekend — they’re an opportunity to pause, reflect, and prepare your mind for the week ahead.

A reset doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be simple and intentional.

✨ Tidy one space that feels overwhelming
✨ Plan your top 3 priorities for the week
✨ Prep a few healthy meals or snacks
✨ Journal what you’re carrying into the new week
✨ Go to bed a little earlier

A Sunday reset is less about productivity and more about creating calm. When we slow down and check in with ourselves, we enter Monday with clarity instead of chaos.

Ask yourself:
• What do I need more of this week?
• What can I let go of?
• How can I support my mental and emotional well-being?

Small, consistent habits create steady change.

From all of us at Mind Over Matter Counseling Solutions, we hope you take a few moments today to breathe, reset, and care for yourself. 🌸

02/14/2026

At Mind Over Matter Counseling, we see Valentine’s Day as a reminder to pause and reflect on connection—with your partner, your family, your friends, and yourself.

Love can look like:
❤️ Honest communication
❤️ Setting healthy boundaries
❤️ Repairing after conflict
❤️ Choosing empathy over assumptions
❤️ Practicing self-compassion

Whether today brings celebration, complicated feelings, or a mix of both—your experience is valid. Relationships aren’t about perfection; they’re about intention, effort, and growth.

If this season has you thinking about your relationship or your emotional well-being, our therapists are here to support you. You don’t have to navigate it alone. Call us today 636-528-1488.

💌 Happy Valentine’s Day from the therapists at Mind Over Matter Counseling Solutions.

Mind Over Matter Counseling Solutions, LLC

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