04/01/2026
🧠 ☢️ EXCITING NEWS ☢️ 🧠
NMTCB is thrilled to announce a groundbreaking new certification: the Telepathic Radiotracer Injection Certification (TRIC). This revolutionary step in nuclear medicine allows technologists to administer precise doses of radiotracers without ever touching a syringe.
Certified TRIC technologists will demonstrate proficiency in administering radiotracers via telepathy. Candidates will be tested on their ability to ‘think’ a radiotracer into a patient’s bloodstream while maintaining ALARA principles.
To prepare, applicants should practice deep concentration, visualization techniques, and holding eye contact with a patient for extended periods without blinking.
This revolutionary method eliminates the need for IV access, reducing patient discomfort and streamlining workflow.
Topics Covered:
-Enhancing brainwave frequency to improve tracer accuracy
-Mental shielding to prevent accidental cross-contamination of doses
-Ethical considerations of reading a patient’s mind while injecting
-Case studies on successful telepathic injections (featuring Schrödinger’s patient—both injected and not injected)
Assessment:
-A virtual exam where candidates must successfully “send” a tracer to an instructor
-A mindfulness certification to prove focus and intent
-A final task: mentally bending a syringe without touching it (bonus points if you quote The Matrix)
Registration opens today— April 1st, of course!
Upon completion participants receive a printable certificate that includes a holographic seal—visible only to those who truly believe.
“I’ve been using TRIC for weeks now, and my patients love it! No more needle anxiety!”
— Ima Kidding, CNMT, TRIC