Relationship Renovation Counseling

Relationship Renovation Counseling Please check out our Relationship Renovation Podcast

Our Tucson counseling center is home to our Relationship Renovation program developed by Tarah and EJ Kerwin, an in-office or at-home programs to provide structured programming in supporting couples.

02/03/2026

Why Validation Gets Missed in Real Conversations

In this clip, E.J. reflects on what is really happening when he ends up invalidating Tarah’s feelings. He shares that it is often not intentional. Instead, it is a breakdown in active listening. He skips over her experience and quickly moves into his own internal reactions, such as feeling judged or feeling like he is getting it wrong.

What is powerful about this moment is the awareness. E.J. names that this shift pulls him out of listening and into defending against his own negative core beliefs. When Tarah hears this, it helps her understand the difference between not being listened to and her partner being triggered. That understanding leads to gratitude rather than disconnection.

This clip shows how naming what is happening internally can soften a moment that might otherwise create distance. Awareness creates room for empathy, repair, and deeper emotional safety.

02/03/2026

When Being “Helpful” Actually Hurts

In this clip, Tarah and E.J. role play a moment that many couples will recognize. Tarah shares her feelings, and E.J., genuinely trying to be helpful, responds by telling her she does not have to feel that way.

What lands instead is invalidation. Tarah jokes that nothing says I love you quite like being told your feelings are not accurate.

This moment highlights a common dynamic in relationships. When a partner shares feelings, they are usually looking for understanding, not correction. Even well intentioned reassurance can unintentionally shut someone down if it skips over validation.

Feeling heard and accepted is what creates emotional safety. And emotional safety is what allows connection to deepen.

Have you ever tried to fix a feeling when your partner really just wanted you to understand it?

01/29/2026

Sometimes conflict escalates not because we don’t care — but because we don’t feel safe enough to be vulnerable.

In this moment, Thais shares how choosing to name what she was actually feeling instead of pushing away changed the entire interaction.
Vulnerability doesn’t mean oversharing. It means letting yourself be seen before defensiveness takes over.

This is how patterns soften.
Not by trying harder — but by choosing honesty when it’s uncomfortable.

01/28/2026

When the Reaction Is Bigger Than the Moment

In this clip from Tarah and E.J.’s interview with Thais Gibson from the Personal Development School, Thais talks about what happens when negative core beliefs get activated in a relationship. In those moments, our reactions to our partner can feel completely out of control.

She shares a relatable example of a woman who feels deeply disrespected when her husband leaves clothes on the floor. The behavior itself is small, but the emotional response is huge. That imbalance is often the clue. When our reaction outweighs the actual stimulus, it usually points to an old wound or core belief being triggered.

Thais explains that these moments can go one of two ways. They can become powerful opportunities for personal growth and self understanding. Or, if left unchecked, they can derail connection and create unnecessary conflict in the relationship.

Learning to pause, get curious about our reactions, and take responsibility for what is being activated inside us can change the entire trajectory of a relationship.

What situations tend to bring out a bigger reaction in you than you expect?

01/23/2026

When Anxious Attachment Wants Mind Reading

In this clip, Tarah opens up about what it is like for her to experience anxious attachment in a relationship. She shares how she often wished E.J. would read her mind and know what she needed without her having to say it out loud. When that did not happen, she noticed herself reacting in ways that actually pushed him away and fed into his avoidant attachment.

By slowing down and recognizing her own needs, Tarah learned to express them more clearly and in healthier ways. As she did this, her anxiety around connection and attachment began to soften. She was able to better understand where her anxious responses were coming from and how to respond with more compassion toward herself and her partner.

This reflection shows how awareness and communication can change long standing attachment patterns and open the door to more secure connection.

What have you learned about how your attachment style shows up in your relationship?

01/22/2026

When I emotionally shut down, it’s not because I don’t care.

For years, I thought staying quiet, avoiding conflict, and keeping the peace was how I showed up in my relationship. I genuinely believed I was making things better — until I realized it was actually creating more distance.

Emotional shutdown isn’t indifference. It’s often a learned survival strategy.

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone.

01/16/2026

When teamwork is there… but the coordination is questionable 😅

Love deserves intention ❤️Create, connect, and dream together at our Date Night Vision Board event at R Place, Tucson on...
01/15/2026

Love deserves intention ❤️
Create, connect, and dream together at our Date Night Vision Board event at R Place, Tucson on Friday, February 13.
💑 Only 10 couples, spots are limited.
📧 Secure your spot now: coaching@relationshiprenovation.com




RelationshipGoals
RelationshipRenovation

01/14/2026

New Experiences Bring New Energy Into Your Relationship

In this fun clip, E.J. talks about the importance of creating novel experiences with your partner. When you do things that are brand new together, it activates parts of the brain that help you feel more connected, engaged, and alive with one another.

He jokingly suggests that even something unexpected, like visiting a goat farm, can bring couples closer. It is not about what you do. It is about doing something new together and sharing the experience side by side.

Novelty creates connection because it pulls you out of routine and invites curiosity, laughter, and shared meaning. Those moments often become the ones you remember most.

What is one new experience you and your partner could try together soon?

01/13/2026

Agreements Build Trust When You Actually Keep Them

In this clip, E.J. role models what it looks like to make a clear agreement with Tarah and then truly hold himself to it. He shares that when he forgets and slips back into old, ineffective communication patterns, his commitment is not to get defensive, but to take accountability.

This is a core principle of healthy relationships. It is not about never messing up. It is about noticing when you do and repairing without blame or shutdown.

This concept comes from Dr. Stan Tatkin and the PACT Institute, which teaches that secure relationships are built through clear agreements and the willingness to honor them, especially when it is uncomfortable. When partners can rely on each other to own their missteps, emotional safety and trust naturally deepen.

What is one agreement in your relationship that could benefit from clearer accountability?

01/12/2026

Imagining the Relationship You Want to Grow Into

In this clip, Tarah role models a powerful exercise for couples. She invites partners to project themselves one year into the future and describe all the positive changes they see in their relationship.

She walks through imagining the tone of their connection, the experiences they share, and the level of emotional safety they feel together. Instead of focusing on what is broken or what needs to be fixed, the exercise helps couples create a clear and hopeful picture of where they are headed.

By focusing on the relationship you want to build rather than the problems you want to eliminate, couples can create motivation, alignment, and a shared vision for growth.

What would your relationship look and feel like one year from now if things were going well?

01/08/2026

How Tone Can Shape Emotional Safety

In this clip, E.J. shares his intention to become more aware of the way he communicates with Tarah. He explains that at times he speaks in a way that unintentionally diminishes emotional safety, coming across as harsh or abrupt.

Tarah reflects that when this happens, it makes it harder for her to stay open and connected. What stands out is that E.J. is not intending to be hurtful. Like many people, he does not always realize how his tone and delivery are landing.

This is a common dynamic in relationships. One partner may focus on what they are saying, while the other experiences how it is being said. Becoming aware of tone, pacing, and presence can make a meaningful difference in creating emotional safety and deeper connection.

What helps you feel emotionally safe in the way your partner communicates with you?

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1717 N. Tucson Boulevard
Tucson, AZ
85716

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 8pm
Tuesday 9am - 8pm
Wednesday 9am - 8pm
Thursday 9am - 8pm
Friday 9am - 8pm
Saturday 9am - 8pm
Sunday 9am - 8pm

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+15203722672

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