Marriage and Communication Coaching

12/24/2025

Responsibility is the cure for Guilt.

Is there a cure for Guilt? ​
​Responsibility is the cure for Guilt.
​
We erase Guilt when we exchange Guilt for Responsibility.
Responsibility does not carry the emotional burden that the experience of Responsibility provides.

Responsibility provides us with paths forward where Guilt does not. Choosing Responsibility we have freedom.

There are choices to make, actions we can take, to accomplish our goals and fulfill our vision.
​
Responsibility is the cure for Guilt.

Be Responsible.

Send a message to learn more

12/15/2025

It's not your fault.

In Good Will Hunting Robin Williams confronts Matt Damon declaring that he's not at fault for being burned by ci******es by his father.

Robin Williams approaches Matt Damon, compassion shining from his eyes, repeating, "It's not your fault. It's not your fault." Until Matt Damon breaks through and into tears.

I don't know where or when you were left believing that "It's my fault. There's something wrong with me."

I invite you to imagine me, looking straight into your eyes, repeating what Robin Williams said.

"It's not your fault. It's not your fault.
There's nothing wrong with you."

Because it's not your fault, it was never your fault, and there's nothing wrong with you.

12/12/2025

Infidelity - Five sources

It is useful to consider that cheating is a symptom, not a cause.
Then the question becomes “What is infidelity a symptom of?”
That is where we go to work.

As a Marriage and Communication Coach I have learned that there are five fundamental sources of cheating and infidelity:

Missing communication and relationship skills.
Lack of self and mutual awareness of one another’s Love Languages.
Frustration arising from failing to love one another by speaking one another’s love languages
Absent of self and mutual awareness of personality types and the opportunities and challenges of differing personalities.
Behavioral legacies, coping strategies, established in childhood and from experiences and previous marriages.

Until dysfunctional patterns are distinguished, overwritten, and replaced with a new set of life affirming “codes" the probability of infidelity and cheating will remain, to continue to run beneath the surface of marriages, distorting relationships.

DM me for the support you need for a future that works

12/12/2025

Six sources of Infidelity
It is useful to consider that cheating is a symptom, not a cause.

Then the question becomes “a symptom of what?”

As a Marriage and Communication Coach I have identified six sources of cheating and infidelity:

1. Lack of effective communication and relationship skills.
2. Lack of self and mutual awareness of one another's Love Languages.
3. Frustration arising from attempting to love one another by speaking one another's love languages
4. Lack of self and mutual awareness of personality types and the opportunities and challenges of differing personalities.
5. Behavioral legacies, coping strategies, developed in childhood and experiences and previous marriages.
6. All of the above will continue to run beneath the surface of marriages, distorting relationships,

Until those dysfunctional patterns are distinguished, overwritten, and replaced with a new set of life affirming “codes" the probability of infidelity and cheating will remain.

I invite you to contact me

12/07/2025

'Tis the season to be loving.
Make 2026 be your most loving year of your lives together.

Reach out to Marriage and Communication Coaching.

Paul Zohav will show you how.

Today is the day.
Now is the season.

Enter 2026 with velocity!

Call Paul Zohav at (520) 297-3085

12/06/2025

Infidelity - Five sources

It is useful to consider that cheating is a symptom, not a cause.
Then the question becomes “What is infidelity a symptom of?”
That is where we go to work.

As a Marriage and Communication Coach I have learned that there are five fundamental sources of cheating and infidelity:
1. Missing communication and relationship skills.
2. Lack of self and mutual awareness of one another’s Love Languages.
3. Frustration arising from failing to love one another by speaking one another’s love languages
4. Absent of self and mutual awareness of personality types and the opportunities and challenges of differing personalities.
5. Behavioral legacies, coping strategies, established in childhood and from experiences and previous marriages.
Until dysfunctional patterns are distinguished, overwritten, and replaced with a new set of life affirming “codes" the probability of infidelity and cheating will remain, to continue to run beneath the surface of marriages, distorting relationships.

It is useful to consider that cheating is a symptom, not a cause.
Then the question becomes “What is infidelity a symptom of?”
That is where we go to work.

As a Marriage and Communication Coach I have learned that there are five fundamental sources of cheating and infidelity:
1. Missing communication and relationship skills.
2. Lack of self and mutual awareness of one another’s Love Languages.
3. Frustration arising from failing to love one another by speaking one another’s love languages
4. Absent of self and mutual awareness of personality types and the opportunities and challenges of differing personalities.
5. Behavioral legacies, coping strategies, established in childhood and from experiences and previous marriages.
Until dysfunctional patterns are distinguished, overwritten, and replaced with a new set of life affirming “codes" the probability of infidelity and cheating will remain, to continue to run beneath the surface of marriages, distorting relationships.

Call now to connect with business.

12/02/2025

'I am sorry" is about me.
The equivalent of 'I regret.'

"I am sorry" is appropriate when we're talking about funerals and unfulfilled expectations.

"I'm sorry for your loss."
"I am sorry that your plans did not work out."

"I apologize" is about "us" and opens up a pathway to the nature of and the future of our relationship.

Call now to connect with business.

12/02/2025

"I'm sorry" promises no future, nor a path forward for us.

" I apologize," does.

11/30/2025

A marriage with mutual honor and respect is inevitable when you knew how it's done.

Learn and then adopt the skills, insights, and best practices for an extraordinary marriage that grows to last a lifetime.

Give yourself and the ones you love the gift of communication.
Today is the day.
Now is the time.

Call Paul

11/29/2025

How do we know when it's time to have a child?

When our "Us" is big enough to sustain a family..

A marriage starts out with three parts:

A you, a me, and an "Us."

Marriage arises within a bubble that permits us to experience our boundaries.

Our 'Us" has a "presence" that is greater than the sum of its parts.

We are inside, everything else is outside.

In the beginning our "Us" and our relationship and communication skill set is inexperienced and undeveloped.

As a couple, our task is to establish our bubble as a place of security, a safe haven, even as we are aware that we are dwelling in a world that is uncertain.

Day by day, we learn to communicate lovingly with mutual honor, and respect.

Over time and with experiences we grow and expand our bubble.

Our "Us" grows along with us.

Then the moment arrives when we stop, look at one another and know, "there's room enough for you, enough for me, and together we have what we need to have our first child."

Over time and with experiences we grow and continue to expand our bubble.

That's when we know the time is right.
How do we know now is the right time for us to have a child?

When your "Us" has grown enough to sustain a family.

For more insights go to marriageandcommunication (dot) com

11/17/2025

Coming soon!
Speak Up, Stand Strong, Be Safe:
A Teen’s guide to Relationships and Communication.

How do we say "No" by saying "Yes?"

So often Teenagers feel pressured to say "Yes" when they know they should say "No." They want to be accepted, belong, and to be in Love. All while their hormones are prompting them to say "Yes."

Speak Up, Stand Strong, Be Safe, is formatted as a cookbook full of easy-to-adopt relationship and communication skill recipes.

Follow directions Speak Up, Stand Strong, Be Safe.

A guide for families and easily adapted for educational curricula.

Let's add a "Fourth R" Relationships, alongside Reading, 'Riting and 'Rithmetic.

Let's show our teenagers how to Speak Up, Stand Strong, and Be Safe:

11/11/2025

In communication how do we go from reacting to responding?

There's nothing inherently wrong when we react.

Reacting is perfectly appropriate when a traffic light turns red. We want people around us to stop and not take valuable time to pause and reflect. That would be dangerous.

However in our human relationships we are obliged to pause, reflect, and then choose our response, carefully selecting the words we will speak.

The strategy:
We avoid reacting simply by responding with "Yes I hear you, let's take time to talk. I promise to listen to everything you have to say."

This strategy lets them know that we're connected, I am listening, and I've heard what you said.

Then we add the word "And" allowing us to determine the future of our relationship.

Everything after the word "And" is our future.

What is your response to this?
I invite you to add your comments below