03/15/2022
Love Vinny and the work he does!
I’ve hidden for years in plain sight.
I think that’s what pain does, it can make us retreat into ourselves and push the rest of the world out.
After my breaking my back, I became a recluse. Voicemails piled up, all texts were left on ‘read’, and I stopped returning phone calls. I think that’s just how I cope with things; being alone in silence. The day I broke my back, I didn’t immediately go to the hospital, I went home to be alone and process what just happened.
My only anchor to the real world was my wife, son, and the people I was committed to helping.
Outside of that, I lived small.
As I learned how to care for my body, I started to heal, move, and feel better; my coping mechanism of being quiet and alone didn’t change.
It feels completely outside my nature to be in front of a camera. It’s hard to share myself given how long I’ve spent retreating from life.
But it’s time to make some changes. My soul needs it.
Quick backstory, I am a former 8x All-American swimmer with 30+ state records (some of which are still standing twenty years later). I went from being an elite endurance athlete to barely being able to tie my shoes for years after I broke my back surfing.
It took me a decade of searching for answers. I learned mostly by failing. I explored so many therapy modalities and collected certifications from a wide range of institutions. As I learned how to recover, my capacity for living life started to change. The better I moved, the better my life became. I started to enjoy things I once avoided.
Despite the progress of going from disability to ability, I avoided sports, training, and anything that had to do with intensity. I felt like my athletic days were behind me, my main goal was to survive as comfortably as possible.
But, to be honest, surviving quietly isn’t enough for me.
Today, I have my eyes set on completing my first 50-mile Ultramarathon race. There isn’t a day or a mile I run that goes by where I don’t think about how far I’ve come. I spent years lying on the ground and couch afraid of movement; afraid life would break me again.
It’s time to stop hiding. Living small was just a coping mechanism, it’s time to shine again.