03/06/2026
Criticism- Attacking another person’s character rather than addressing a specific behavior.
Contempt- Communicating disrespect, superiority, or disgust (sarcasm, eye-rolling, mocking)
Defensiveness- Responding to a complaint by denying responsibility or blaming the other person
Stonewalling-Shutting down, withdrawing, or refusing to engage during conflict.
These Four Horsemen disrupt connection in marriage and escalate any conflict, making the discussion unproductive. Instead of these disruptors, focus on mutual appreciation and respect, take a break when needed, and listening to your spouse.
Source: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work- John M. Gottman, Ph.D. and Nan Silver