10/11/2025
Twenty eight years ago this amazing little guy, who we named Matthew, came into this world 8 weeks premature. He had Down Syndrome and Autism and had major stomach surgery at birth. His first 5 years of life were rocky.
I remember the day I was discharged from the hospital and I had to leave Matthew behind...it broke my heart. I couldn't sleep that night so I went in and sat in the beautiful room we had prepared for our son. The tears came fast and I cried out to God and asked "why did you do this to me, I'm sure I won't be able to handle it." I sat there in silence for a little longer and I heard a voice, not audible but in my head, say "I GAVE you Matthew so you would trust ME everyday."
So God loved me so much, and He knew I had issues trusting Him, that he gave me a child that would require me to trust him. But somewhere along this 28 year journey I lost my way and I moved further and further from God and I decided that I was capable of meeting Matt's needs without seeking His wisdom first.
If you have been following my posts lately, you know I have recently been diagnosed with clinical depression and through lots of counseling, medications, and God's unfailing love I will beat it! But I wanted to share this story, at this moment, because some Godly friends have shared with me (knowing nothing about Matt's birth) that I have to trust God day by day. Wow, seems like I've heard that somewhere before, lol! I get panicky and make bad choices when I can't figure everything out. Is it just a coincidence that what God spoke to me when Matt was born is being spoken to me again...I think not!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3: 5-6
