Ellie Rose Therapy

04/13/2026

So many say “Sorry” just to get off the hook or to move on.

I’ve long said that giving a real, heartfelt apology is one of the most admirable and courageous things a person can do.

Most apologies protect the person giving them. They rush to resolution, soften the admission, or wrap accountability in so many qualifications that the other person ends up managing the apology instead of receiving one.

A real apology is uncomfortable to give. That discomfort is the point. It means something is actually being taken seriously.

Save this framework and share it with your partner. Follow LoveSecurely for more practical relationship tools.

04/12/2026

Also lost in the grave of cultural nuance is this one.

Not every relationship will be rewarding.

Not every relationship will be easy.

Not every relationship will feel good.

But surprise! Difficult, draining, awkward and even painful relationships aren’t necessarily toxic!

Some teach you important things.

Some expand your capacity for discomfort.

Some grow you in ways that the satisfying relationships can’t.

Bring back the wide, expansive space in between Healthy and Toxic…

03/16/2026

1. Couples therapy is a table set for 2— not with a secret third wheel still tagging along. Physical and emotional affairs need to be concluded, before we can start.

2. You can have depression. Or be bipolar. Or on the spectrum. Struggling with alcohol addiction. But there needs to be a management plan happening, for your own individual STUFF or we’ll just be spinning our wheels.

3. Couples therapy won’t work if you think you can solve a problem in a few 50 minute sessions that probably took years to create. Doesn’t mean you need years of therapy— but you need to be realistic and patient with the process.

4. Some would add emotional/verbal abuse to this. I wouldn’t necessarily—because the definition of that word has broadened so much that most of us say or do abusive things at least once in our relationships without realizing how damaging they are. But you need a skilled therapist who’s not afraid to call it out. And physical safety is critical for any forward progress to have a chance…

5. h/t . If one or both of you are just trying to check the boxes to say you “tried everything” or you’re not engaged in the process and applying new skills in between sessions— you’re wasting your money.

03/01/2026

This is a next-level Black Belt relationship skill.🥋

So elusive and rare that I’ve only seen it happen a couple times in session over the years.

“If you’re not battling your own ego, you’re battling someone else...”

Feels like I need to keep a champagne bottle in a mini-fridge for those moments when people have enough maturity to pivot.

Admitting you're wrong in the middle of an argument is one of the hardest things to do in a relationship. And one of the most important.

Most people know they've lost the plot mid-argument but keep going anyway because stopping feels like losing. But there's a version of winning an argument that costs you something much more important than the point you were making.

"I was so focused on defending myself that I stopped listening to you" is not weakness. It's the kind of honesty that builds trust over years. So is "I'd rather admit I'm wrong than win this and lose your trust."

The goal was never to win. It was to actually understand each other.

01/31/2026

❤️❤️❤️

11/07/2025

Intuition is a powerful tool and there are definitely some non-rational ways of knowing things.

But when people are making their “gut” or intuition their infallible leader, they are making a mistake.

Traumatic experiences can leave us with a faulty intuition sometimes— when our nervous system is triggered at the something, this doesn’t mean we ought to drop everything and run away or prepare for a fight.

Yes, your instinct gives you messages.
So does trauma.
So does indigestion.
Or overstimulation.
Or hunger.
Or…

Learn to be wise in knowing the difference and in knowing yourself.

09/17/2025

Gentle reminder before you wrap yourself up in a cloak of painful loneliness:

-Active listening is a skill
-Practical compassion is a skill
-Attunement is a skill

Not everyone is born with these skills or automatically knows how to make another person *feel* loved and cared for when they are hurting.

Often times people care very deeply indeed— but simply don’t know how to express that or how to hold the other’s vulnerability with tenderness.

These skills CAN be learned with help and dedication.

But don’t mistake an insensitive partner for an unloving partner.

They are not the same thing… 🫶

09/10/2025

I put in some asterisks.

✳️ What is a “safe space”? Is it a bloated, bouncy house where we tell people how wonderful, amazing and unappreciated they are and protect them from any challenges??

No.

It is a space that prioritizes compassion while seeking to understand. You can disagree with someone’s choices (vehemently!), and still love them and approach them with kindness and grace. To be “safe” does not mean to be “comfortable”— it means to be respected and seen with the inherent dignity you embody as a human being.

✳️ “… supporting and uplifting others” doesn’t mean cheering them on in their wayward thinking. It means to offer a slice of humanity that isn’t afraid of something like making eye contact to panhandlers on the exit ramps. The single greatest thing any of us can do to shift the su***de statistics is to practice a living and breathing compassion.

Don’t people need truth also?!
Absolutely.

But you can’t teach a course on nutrition to starving people. Give them the bread of love first. And— sorry not sorry— that might be your only job here. Try to be ok with that.

✳️ Suffering is one of the universal languages all humans can speak. But no one knows exactly what it’s like to live inside the skin of anyone else except themselves. They say “Puppy love is true love to puppies…” and I’d like to add that “Puppy suffering is true suffering to puppies…” We all have different capacities and shapes of horror that we can endure and no two are exactly identical. Give up the comparison.

Practice grace.
Compassion is the answer.

Best part of this is that it’s free.

09/06/2025

❤️

09/03/2025

Get Bored.

Boredom isn’t a bug—it’s a feature. Harvard professor Arthur C. Brooks explains why boredom unlocks creativity, activates a powerful brain network, and might...

07/08/2025

💡

06/19/2025

So much more is in your control than you think!

If you’ve got these things down… you’re pretty far down the path of “doing the work” already. 💪

There’s nothing secretive about it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

And if you need help beyond that… well, we’re here for you. 😉