Ellie Rose Therapy

03/01/2026

This is a next-level Black Belt relationship skill.🥋

So elusive and rare that I’ve only seen it happen a couple times in session over the years.

“If you’re not battling your own ego, you’re battling someone else...”

Feels like I need to keep a champagne bottle in a mini-fridge for those moments when people have enough maturity to pivot.

Admitting you're wrong in the middle of an argument is one of the hardest things to do in a relationship. And one of the most important.

Most people know they've lost the plot mid-argument but keep going anyway because stopping feels like losing. But there's a version of winning an argument that costs you something much more important than the point you were making.

"I was so focused on defending myself that I stopped listening to you" is not weakness. It's the kind of honesty that builds trust over years. So is "I'd rather admit I'm wrong than win this and lose your trust."

The goal was never to win. It was to actually understand each other.

01/31/2026

❤️❤️❤️

11/07/2025

Intuition is a powerful tool and there are definitely some non-rational ways of knowing things.

But when people are making their “gut” or intuition their infallible leader, they are making a mistake.

Traumatic experiences can leave us with a faulty intuition sometimes— when our nervous system is triggered at the something, this doesn’t mean we ought to drop everything and run away or prepare for a fight.

Yes, your instinct gives you messages.
So does trauma.
So does indigestion.
Or overstimulation.
Or hunger.
Or…

Learn to be wise in knowing the difference and in knowing yourself.

09/17/2025

Gentle reminder before you wrap yourself up in a cloak of painful loneliness:

-Active listening is a skill
-Practical compassion is a skill
-Attunement is a skill

Not everyone is born with these skills or automatically knows how to make another person *feel* loved and cared for when they are hurting.

Often times people care very deeply indeed— but simply don’t know how to express that or how to hold the other’s vulnerability with tenderness.

These skills CAN be learned with help and dedication.

But don’t mistake an insensitive partner for an unloving partner.

They are not the same thing… 🫶

09/10/2025

I put in some asterisks.

✳️ What is a “safe space”? Is it a bloated, bouncy house where we tell people how wonderful, amazing and unappreciated they are and protect them from any challenges??

No.

It is a space that prioritizes compassion while seeking to understand. You can disagree with someone’s choices (vehemently!), and still love them and approach them with kindness and grace. To be “safe” does not mean to be “comfortable”— it means to be respected and seen with the inherent dignity you embody as a human being.

✳️ “… supporting and uplifting others” doesn’t mean cheering them on in their wayward thinking. It means to offer a slice of humanity that isn’t afraid of something like making eye contact to panhandlers on the exit ramps. The single greatest thing any of us can do to shift the su***de statistics is to practice a living and breathing compassion.

Don’t people need truth also?!
Absolutely.

But you can’t teach a course on nutrition to starving people. Give them the bread of love first. And— sorry not sorry— that might be your only job here. Try to be ok with that.

✳️ Suffering is one of the universal languages all humans can speak. But no one knows exactly what it’s like to live inside the skin of anyone else except themselves. They say “Puppy love is true love to puppies…” and I’d like to add that “Puppy suffering is true suffering to puppies…” We all have different capacities and shapes of horror that we can endure and no two are exactly identical. Give up the comparison.

Practice grace.
Compassion is the answer.

Best part of this is that it’s free.

09/06/2025

❤️

09/03/2025

Get Bored.

Boredom isn’t a bug—it’s a feature. Harvard professor Arthur C. Brooks explains why boredom unlocks creativity, activates a powerful brain network, and might...

07/08/2025

💡

06/19/2025

So much more is in your control than you think!

If you’ve got these things down… you’re pretty far down the path of “doing the work” already. 💪

There’s nothing secretive about it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

And if you need help beyond that… well, we’re here for you. 😉

06/13/2025

🫶

06/12/2025

Trust is more than just a topic of fidelity and betrayal.

Shutting down and avoiding issues under the pretense of “I’m fine” when it’s clear that you’re not— erodes trust.

The work here is learning to tolerate the discomfort of conflict.

And subjecting someone to a constant barrage of complaints, frustrations, or issues can be felt in the body like an ambush.

This erodes trust also.

The work here is to learn moderation and processing through what is important to discuss rationally at a good time/place for both parties.

06/09/2025

We are a scowling and skeptical people these days.

Angry about this and bitter about that.

We nurse grudges like famished babies and fill up on a jadedness that does nothing but undermine healthy vulnerability and healthy connection.

I see people in all stages of relationship pain and drama every day… and guess what?

Your spouse probably means well.
(Rare exceptions apply.)

And many of the hurts and slights you feel are probably colored a whole lot by the stories your wonderfully wild and creative brain tells you— that may or may not be rooted in reality.

But you don’t have to run away with those stories.

You CAN give the benefit of the doubt before allowing your internal courtroom to deliver a verdict.

Once upon a time, this used to be the societal norm in public and private life.

While you may feel powerless to change the world, the culture of your home is still very much within your control.

And doing this will help to keep you on the right side of “for better or worse…”

Assume good intent.