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Andrea Kinnaugh, LMFT

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Wake Forest, NC
Andrea Kinnaugh, LMFT

Individual, couples, and relational therapist here for all your messy, humaness All sessions are telehealth at this time

02/18/2026

In the solar system of a relationship, each person is like a planet orbiting around the relationship like it's the sun...

If one person decides to put themselves in the center, the relationship and the other person orbit around them; centering the relationship around that person's needs. The gravitational pull is based on their perspectives, wants, and point of view which leaves out the other person and the relationships needs. It becomes caretaking.

Have you been able to center the relationship or is one of you wanting to eclipse the sun?

02/12/2026

The act of chosing to be in love is so much more than being in a relationship. It's not falling or just being but an active choice that you continue to choose again and again. Most importantly, it requires both people to be ready for it to work. Are you ready?

02/04/2026

How do you pursue love?

01/28/2026

January 2026 has been a month. The most common response when I ask people in my everyday world how they are includes a disclaimer - personally, they are well... everything else, not so much. I love the truth in this because I know it's important to hold the good and it's just as important to acknowledge what sucks. If we don't, it's incongruent and therefore dysregulating. My nudge is to allow all the feelings and to remember we can hold more than one feeling at the same time. This month's playlist does just that if you need help tapping into all those emotions.

The glimmers ✨️
Coffee Pot - it is a perfectly brewed cup that stays warm while not getting burned.
TRX - this is strength and whimsy combined - if you're gonna do push ups, why not do it fighting gravity??
Sumo oranges - reminder that not all sweet things can last all seasons
Matches - I love that matches are coming back. They're both nostalgic and useful.
Lip gloss - I no longer have chapped lips because of this beauty. Plus, the color is all class.
Pom Pom Trivet - instant inspiration to make a warm dish to share with friends that you will place ontop of this cutie

As always, I hope your days have moments of fun and ease.

01/21/2026

One of my favorite topics in a relational session is to ask each person what they need their person to do to care for them? How can they get it right?

The simplicity of the answer is often astounding -
a kiss when they get home
putting their phone down when they're talking
a compliment
some alone time
making / getting them a coffee or tea and knowing how they like it

What often happens in these moments is a defensive responses of how they ARE showing their love and the disappointment of that not counting and this my dears is where it gets tricky.

We want to care for those we love in ways that make sense to us or in ways that have worked before but humans aren't simple, linear lines. We change and our needs shift but our desire to be cared for remains consistent.

So much of loving someone is willing to learn how to love them over and over again. So much of being loved is sharing what we need. Here's your nudge to listen and share.

01/14/2026

I'm blessed with having friendships that are over 30 years old. I would be mortified if they held me to the same person I was when they met me. Like, can you imagine someone expecting you to forever be like your younger self??

I have so much love for the past versions of me, but I also have lived those decisions, both good and not so good, and therefore have grown... and changed.

Relationships are built at the moment of time we meet someone with that moment-in-time version of us. Long-lasting relationships are built on the expectation that we will meet a new version of each other many times over.

Here is your nudge to hold the uncomfortable oof that people will change regardless of our approval and to see this as an opportunity to grow with them.

01/07/2026

So much of relational work is learning that how we perceive a situation is what we believe happened. If the relationship has been in an unsteady spot or you're not sure what direction it's going, every sigh, delayed text, pause may not be coming from a negative place but is perceived with a negative perspective. So how do we start to get things back to the positive? We talk.

Say the I want you, I love you, I miss you, etc

Acknowledge that you sighed, but it was about something else and not them.

Ask for clarification if you thought you heard something in a negative way. (In a curious not retaliatory way)

Share that you are upset and when you can talk about it.

There are too many songs, books, movies, etc, where all they had to do was say the thing. If you want this person to know how much you want this to work, you have to be willing to put yourself out there in a very clear way. So, here's your nudge to not be a tragic statistic of silence.

01/01/2026

Wishing you a new year with moments of peace, connection, rest, and celebration ✨️✨️✨️

#2026

12/26/2025

wishing you merry mindfulness this holiday season

12/11/2025

With the color of 2026 being a shade of white, it kinda echos what I'm seeing in dating culture - some are wanting their person to be a blank slate with all the crispness of a no wrinkle life. This want makes relationships, real relationships, impossible.

People are messy and life is messy. Our tolerance and coping with the mess becomes essential, or we just keep swiping on new people until the crisp gets wrinkled and then we swipe again, and again, etc.

In a time where we have more language around red flags, attachment styles, and all types of ethical relationship set ups, we seem to have moved away from getting to know people and have moved into inspecting people. Now I get having criteria, but someone coming at you with clipboard eyes is not fun and definitely not bringing out the vulnerability.

So here is the kindest nudge to remember that no one is going to be perfect, including you. The quicker we can drop those masks, the quicker we can get to the real good stuff of messy, authentic connection.

12/04/2025

Anger is a valid and unavoidable emotion that, unfortunately, very few learn how to control. When they do have control, there is safety, which allows for those hard and messy conversations to be had.

But when there isn't control, the anger turns into lashing out. This should always be an ick but so often this is where I tend to see some making excuses - they're going through something, they had a bad day, someone must have done something to upset them, etc, etc.

So here are the rules for fighting that I go over with every relational client:
- Once the argument starts, both are to take a step away from each other to create space
- If you are in a doorway or exit, move, so the other person can freely leave if they want
- Do not follow or chase
- Name calling or cruel statements puts the fight in an automatic break for 15 min because no adult has to stand there & listen to that
- No blocking access to or car keys
- No touching until both agree that the fight is over

If you struggle with these, here is your nudge to do your work.

11/26/2025

There are lots of wonderful and needed posts about managing the relational stresses of the holidays but not as many about highlighting who you are EXCITED to be around. Mindset plays a lot into our perception of an experience. Walking into a room and dreading seeing that one relative is a very different experience than walking into the same room excited about seeing someone else.
So, maybe this holiday, instead of managing or fixing, lean into the relationships that are thriving and find the fun.

To help with focusing on the fun and not the fixing this holiday season, I'm going to pass on to you one of my favorite tools - it's called the sliding door. It's a helpful little gem that allows you to modify and adapt to every social interaction to your comfort level.

Picture in your mind's eye, standing in front of a sliding door that has both a screen and a glass door. This is your door that no one else can see, and it is always in between you and whoever you're chatting with.

If you are having a very comfortable banter with someone, both the metaphorical screen and glass doors will be wide open...

If you're not feeling as engaged or your energy is low, you may choose to close the screen door to give yourself a little bit of filter...

If things are starting to feel over stimulating, you may choose to close the glass door. This is a stronger filter, but it allows you to still participate without dissociating...

You can open and adjust this door at any time, and no one has to know that you're doing it. My nudge for you is to spend more time with those where your door can be fully open.

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