04/15/2026
Confidence is just some smoke and mirrors bravado in comparison to Competence.
While being competent at a task / job can be hot all on its own, competencey in relationships is next level. Showing up in your relationship because you want them, value them, and have taken time to understand them is peak emotional IQ.
So much of my job as a relational therapist is moving people from checking boxes or attempting to balance a ledger, to wanting to fully show up in their relationship because they're choosing their relationship. When someone sees themselves as competent in their relationship, they don't need constant reassurance that are doing a good job because they know what their relationship feels and looks like when they are.
Building trust, accountability, clear communication, and being responsible are not just team building skills, gorgeous reader. But just something to keep in mind, we all the know the difference between the person who likes what they do and the person who's just checking the boxes.