Free Minds Counseling

Free Minds Counseling Life is a game! Learn the rules and the skills to thrive. Game and grow!

Individual, family and couples therapy with an emphasis on education, skills training and lifestyle changes to support long term health. I utilize an eclectic blend of talk therapy interventions, nutritional counseling, lifestyle coaching and neurofeedback to help you bring your life into balance.

12/01/2025

Shame is one of the most intensely unpleasant emotions a human can experience.
It’s that inner voice that whispers (or sometimes screams), “You’re flawed. You’re unworthy. You don’t deserve good things.”

And that belief?
That belief is exactly why so many of us are terrified of failure, allergic to mistakes, and hesitant to take even reasonable risks. You can’t move forward if your brain treats every stumble like a moral catastrophe. Shame becomes the invisible wall in the dungeon - blocking progress, punishing exploration, and convincing you not to touch anything because What if I mess it up?

The truth is:
Shame is a primary barrier to improvement in ANY area of life.
Not because mistakes are dangerous, but because shame convinces you they are fatal.

Here’s the wild thing: shame does have a legitimate use… in microscopic doses.
Think of it like emotional Botox.
A tiny amount, applied in a very specific place, can nudge you toward better alignment with your personal code of ethics.
But slathering it all over your daily life? Yikes. That’s when everything gets stiff, distorted, and painful.

Shame is appropriate when you’ve genuinely violated your own moral standards. For when you’ve acted out of alignment with your values and need a nudge to make it right.
But the fact that shame shows up because you were tired, distracted, human, imperfect, overwhelmed, or learning something new?
That’s the problem. That’s misuse. That’s like injecting emotional Botox into every facial expression because it might wrinkle someday.

So here’s the gentle truth:
Shame is a tool. Not an identity. Not a prophecy. Not a life sentence.
It’s meant to guide genuine ethical growth, not to punish your humanity.

Be kind to yourself.
Mistakes are evidence that you’re living, learning, and trying.

12/01/2025

Regret is like trying to run a patch update on a server that’s been offline since 2007.
No matter how hard you mash the buttons, the past is not accepting new edits.
(Sorry, but that embarrassing thing you said in 9th grade is already immortalized in the cosmic combat log.)

Anxiety, meanwhile, is your brain attempting to speed-run a future dungeon that hasn’t even loaded yet.
It’s all “What if there’s fire everywhere?”
And the universe is like, “Friend… we haven’t even picked the difficulty setting.”

Neither one is actually helpful.
Regret can’t change history. Anxiety can’t control destiny.
They’re like two very dramatic NPCs shouting advice you didn’t ask for.

But mindfulness?
Mindfulness is the mechanic that actually puts the controller back in your hands.
It drops you squarely into Right Now, where your real actions happen, your real choices matter, and your actual XP is earned.

When you’re mindful, you’re no longer stuck fighting ghosts in Yesterday or wrestling hypothetical dragons in Tomorrow.
You’re grounded, geared, and present in Today - where you can actually build something, choose something, change something.

So take a breath.
Log back into the current zone.
Your quest progress only counts here.

12/01/2025

There are a fair number of terms that keep getting thrown around that seem to have become disconnected from their actual meaning. Sometimes a little humor and some general examples can help bring clarity.

12/01/2025

If you don’t define yourself, the world will absolutely do it for you and let’s be honest, the world is terrible at character creation.

Left unchecked, society will assign you some default NPC backstory like:
“Lives in Village #12. Performs Task. Smiles politely. Repeats dialogue options endlessly.”
And suddenly you’re 20, 40, 60 years into a life you never actually chose, wondering why everything feels flat, scripted, or like you’re stuck farming the same low-level zone forever.

When you don’t define who you are (your values, your goals, your dreams, your personal code) you end up living on autopilot.
And autopilot isn’t living.
It’s just pathing.
NPCs path. Heroes choose.
That’s the real difference.

Heroes decide their class, spec, and gear.
NPCs get whatever the game assigns.
Heroes chase quests that matter to them.
NPCs just stand there waiting for someone else to tell them what to do.

You deserve more than being the background character in your own story.
So claim your identity.
Choose your build.
Define your purpose.
Create yourself with intention.

Because the moment you take ownership of your character sheet, you stop being an NPC in someone else’s narrative and start being the protagonist in your own.

12/01/2025

There’s this beautiful idea floating around in philosophy, spirituality, and the occasional late-night Discord chat:
We don’t really “come into” the world… we arise from it.
Like leaves from a tree.
Like waves from an ocean.
Like a fresh baby toon emerging from the character creation screen except instead of Blizzard’s servers, we’re generated from the whole living ecosystem of humanity, biology, culture, and chaotic cosmic RNG.

Most of us spend our lives thinking we popped into existence like some sort of cosmic loot drop:
Congratulations! You have spawned.
Good luck figuring out the mechanics with zero tutorial and a UI that updates randomly.

But that’s not quite right.

We aren’t imported from elsewhere.
Just like a leaf isn’t some foreign object stuck onto a tree, you aren’t an alien visitor glued onto Planet Earth. You’re an expression of it.
A local phenomenon.
A native-generated quest-giver with a beating heart and questionable graphics settings.

Think of the ocean.
A wave is not separate from the water. It’s just the form the water is currently taking.
Sure, every wave has its own shape, its own timing, its own dramatic flair when it decides to yeet itself onto the shore but it’s still ocean through and through.

Humans? Same deal.
We’re little waves in the big sea of existence.
Temporary forms of something ancient, vast, and ongoing.
(And yes, some of us crash into things more often than others - looking at you, neurospicy wave types.)

Understanding this changes the whole game.

Because if you arise from the world, like a leaf or a wave, then you belong here automatically.
You don’t have to earn your worth or “prove” your right to exist.
You’re not a bug in the code. You’re part of the system architecture.
You’re an expansion pack of the universe, not an accidental DLC.

And that means your growth is natural.
Your changes are natural.
Your awkward phases, your glow-ups, your respawns after major life wipeouts - they’re all part of how the world expresses itself through you.

When you see yourself this way, something shifts.
You stop feeling like a lost player trying to survive a hostile map, and start recognizing that you’re a handmade artifact of the same world that grew forests, forged mountains, and somehow allowed capybaras to exist.

You’re not “in” the world. You’re of it.
Rooted like a tree branch.
Rolling like a wave.
Questing like a heroic adventurer spun up directly from the cosmic server itself.

So take a breath.
Feel the connection.
Remember you’re not an outsider - you’re an expression.

And for the love of Azeroth, stop acting like your existence is an error message.
You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be:
Arising, growing, evolving, and trying your best not to pull aggro from the mobs you weren’t ready for.

12/01/2025

Everything has a price.
And no, sadly, I don’t mean in gold, because if life had a vendor, half of us would be broke from impulse-buying metaphorical transmog sets.

I mean this: every goal costs something.
Time, energy, attention, comfort, ego, sleep, snacks - SOMETHING.
Life is basically one big talent tree, and you don’t get infinite points.
(If only.)

Sometimes in order to succeed at a larger goal - your Mythic-tier life quest - you have to sacrifice a few of the smaller ones. It’s not failure. It’s strategy.

You can’t level all the professions, run every dungeon, join every guild event, keep every side hustle, socialize like a bard, hermit like a druid, and still expect progress on your Epic Main Quest.

That’s how you end up over-leveled in exhaustion and under-leveled in actual achievement.

Bigger goals require better focus.
Which means some of the smaller goals have to be benched like low-level alts.
You’re not deleting them. You’re just not actively raiding on them this season.

Want to build a business?
Your “scroll TikTok for 2 hours” achievement might need to be… placed gently in long-term storage.

Training for something big?
Your “eat cake for breakfast every day” passive may need to be temporarily nerfed.
I’m not saying permanently - I’m not a monster.
Just… on cooldown.

This is the secret grown-up version of min-maxing:
You choose what gets your skill points right now.
You can’t spec everything at once, but you CAN choose where to shine.

So don’t feel bad when you sacrifice a smaller goal to fuel a larger one.
That’s not losing.
That’s leveling with intention.

Because every hero knows:
You can’t carry every item but you CAN choose the ones that matter.

12/01/2025

Information → Knowledge → Wisdom
or, as I like to call it, the XP progression track of adulthood.

Look, information is just bits of data, like the hundreds of quest items that end up in your bags even though you have zero memory of picking them up. It’s the random loot drops of life. Neat. Useless. Taking up space.

Knowledge happens when you finally stop long enough to mouse over the tooltips and go, “Ohhhh! THAT’S what this is for.” Suddenly those random bits click together into something that makes sense - like realizing the mysterious rock you’ve carried since level 12 actually starts a quest chain that gives you a mount.
(We’ve all done it. No shame.)

But wisdom?
Ah yes, the endgame skill tree.

Wisdom is when you not only understand the pieces…
You also see how they connect to everything else - your party, the map, your long-term goals, your emotional cooldowns - and you know exactly what to do with it.

It’s the moment you stop pulling mobs one at a time because you finally understand your actual strength.
It’s the moment you check the minimap before wandering into the Bad Idea Zone.
It’s the moment you realize that just because you CAN jump off that cliff doesn’t mean you SHOULD.
(Unless you’re a Demon Hunter. In which case, carry on, you chaotic sky-lemming.)

Information fills your bags.
Knowledge organizes your bars.
Wisdom upgrades the player.

And the beautiful thing?
You can start leveling that skill at ANY time, at ANY age, from ANY checkpoint.
Just takes practice and occasionally a helpful NPC reminding you where the quest turn-in is.

12/01/2025

Point Yourself Toward the People Who Help You Grow
…kind of like a flower, if flowers also had anxiety, side quests, and a tendency to aggro the wrong mobs.

One of the sneaky truths of being human is this:
You will grow in the direction you face.

If you aim yourself toward stress, chaos, or people who drain your mana like they’re chugging potions in PvP, you’ll wilt faster than a level 1 noob in a Mythic raid.

But if you point yourself toward the things and the people who genuinely elevate you, cheer for you, and nourish your little soul like the sun nourishes a sprout?
Oh honey… you THRIVE.
You photosynthesize like a champ.
You unlock whole new skill branches.

This isn’t about being perfect or pretending life is all buffs and sunshine.
It’s about choosing your light source wisely.

Who helps you grow?
Who makes you laugh?
Who reminds you that you’re a whole damn player character with main-story potential?

Aim yourself in THAT direction.
Turn your metaphorical flower-face toward the folks who see your value, hype your victories, and don’t treat your boundaries like optional side quests.

Life gets easier when you stop trying to bloom in the shade.

12/01/2025

You Become What You Do Every Day
…which is honestly kind of unfair, because I was really hoping to become a legendary mage without having to actually practice anything.

But here we are.
In the grand MMO of Life, your daily actions are your build.
Not your dreams, not your intentions, not the epic loot you keep meaning to equip -
your habits.

If you swing a sword every day, you become a warrior.
If you heal others every day, you become a priest.
If you avoid your quests, hide in cities, and scroll endlessly like you’re farming for dopamine loot drops… well… you become whatever that class is. (No judgment. I’ve been there. Probably still have the title.)

The point is:
Your character sheet updates one tiny action at a time.

Want to be stronger? Do one strong thing.
Want to be kinder? Do one kind thing.
Want to level up instead of wandering in emotional Elwynn Forest forever?
Choose one action today that moves you toward your main story quest.

And if you don’t know where to start?
If all your quests feel red-level skull icons and your bags are full of “??? Items” you have no idea what to do with?

That’s literally what life coaches are for.

I help you:
Find your questline
Pick your build
Equip better habits
Rewrite your internal NPC dialogue
And level up slowly, consistently, and with way fewer rage-quits

You don’t have to figure everything out alone in a starter zone.
You can get support, strategy, and actual XP gains.

Your daily actions shape your character.
Let’s make sure you’re building the version of you that feels powerful, joyful, and fully specced for the life you want.

12/01/2025

Your Life Is What Your Thoughts Make of It
Which is wildly inconvenient, because my thoughts have absolutely tried to convince me I’m a level 2 peasant with a broken starter sword. While I’m over here walking around with endgame potential and at least three unlocked talent trees.

Here’s the thing:
Your mind is basically your in-game narrator, and sometimes that narrator is… uh… a bit dramatic.
(“You failed once—ABANDON ALL HOPE!”
Okay, relax, Karen-from-the-brain-cast.)

But the truth still holds:
Your thoughts shape your reality.
Your inner dialogue influences your choices, your mood, your confidence, your motivation. Heck, even whether you accept the quest or run screaming into the nearest tavern.

If your thoughts are full of:
❌ self-doubt debuffs
❌ catastrophic cutscenes
❌ and anxiety-ridden side quests you never signed up for…
then your life will feel like you’re permanently stuck in the Swamp of Sadness.

But when you start shifting your thought patterns - when you upgrade those internal scripts - your whole world gets new lighting.
New map markers.
New options.
You start seeing yourself as you actually are:
a whole-ass hero with skills, grit, and a respawn timer that never quits.

And this is exactly where life coaching comes in.

Life coaching helps you:
Rewire some of those outdated mental macros
Replace the “I can’t” NPC with a far more helpful one
Build the courage to face quests you’ve been avoiding
Strengthen the thoughts that make you powerful
And chart a path based on your true potential, not your fear

You don’t have to keep living under the rule of the Brain Gremlins.
You can train your mind, rewrite your narrative, and actually enjoy playing your own character.

Your thoughts create the world you live in.
Let’s make that world one worth adventuring in.

12/01/2025

Time for a little gamer-flavored truth bomb.

A lot of us secretly wait for a Chosen One to show up. The destined hero who will swoop in, fix our lives, slay our dragons, and hand us the neatly wrapped “happily ever after.”

But in real life?
No chosen one is coming.
No robe-wearing prophet NPC.
No magic sword delivery.
No questline that solves everything for us.

AND , here’s the part we really don’t like to admit,
we can’t be the Chosen One for other people either.

You can’t tank someone else’s boss fight.
You can’t out-heal someone’s refusal to equip their own gear.
You can’t grind their experience, unlock their skill tree, or complete their personal questline for them no matter how hard you love them.

We can walk beside people.
We can cheer them on.
We can share buffs, snacks, and hard-won wisdom.
But the moment we start trying to “save” someone else, we stop supporting them and start stealing their story.

The truth is freeing, even if it stings a bit:
Nobody is coming to save you, and you can’t save anyone else.

But here’s the magic:
When you finally accept that, you realize you’re not powerless - you’re powerful.
You choose your build.
You choose your path.
You become your own raid leader, your own strategist, your own hero.

And if you want help learning the skills, upgrading your emotional gear, and stepping into your own main-character energy, that’s where life coaching comes in.

You’re not waiting for a Chosen One.
And you’re not trying to be someone else’s.
You’re becoming the hero of your own story the way it was always meant to be.

11/24/2025

Let’s talk about something sneaky, powerful, and often overlooked: your own memory can be your worst enemy.

Not because the past is bad but because the way your mind replays it can become a whole cinematic universe of suffering. Anxiety, depression, PTSD, phobias-so many of our maladaptive emotional responses come from a dysfunctional relationship with our memories. It’s not the events themselves anymore; it’s the reruns. The mind loves to hit “loop,” even when the episode is trash.

This is where rumination comes in. That mental dungeon where you keep pulling old mobs you already killed, trying to figure out if you could’ve crit harder or dodged better. Spoiler: you can’t. The past is not a repeatable raid.

But rumination feels productive until it starts chewing holes in your self-worth and your emotional resilience.

One of the simplest, most effective ways to interrupt the rumination loop?
👉 Stay involved in meaningful activity.
Not busywork. Not grinding boar snouts.
Meaningful activity. Something that pulls you out of your inner Maw and back into the world of the living.

If you’ve played the Shadowlands post-story for Anduin, you know the vibe. That whole arc is basically a study in rumination: Anduin trapped in his own memories, reliving trauma, unable to move forward because he’s replaying the worst moments on an endless loop. He wasn’t stuck because of his past - he was stuck because he couldn’t stop feeling the past.

And it wasn’t until life yanked him back into purpose, into relationship, into responsibility, that he started to reconnect with the world again.
(Shoutout to Thrall and Jaina for basically being the “touch grass” NPCs he needed. )

Real life works the same way.
When you’re caught in rumination, you don’t need to erase your memories - you need to rebalance the influence they have over your present.

Meaningful activity acts like:
A grounding spell
A pattern interrupt
A reminder that you’re still here, still leveling, still capable of joy, purpose, and growth

Your memories are part of your story, but they don’t get to be the dungeon master unless you hand them the dice. Pick up your agency. Step into something that matters today. Let the world pull you forward.

You deserve a life that isn’t ruled by reruns.

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104 East. Summit Avenue
Wales, WI
53183

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Tuesday 9am - 4pm
Wednesday 9am - 6pm
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+14149093449

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