Near and Dear Therapy

01/01/2026

Day Eight of Christmas: Eight Maids A-Milking

Maids a-milking work early.
They work daily.
Their labor feeds others — quietly, reliably, without applause.

Symbolically, eight maids a-milking represent caretaking and sustaining labor —
the work that keeps life going but is rarely noticed.
For many ADHD women, this symbol lands close to home.
Caretaking often becomes a default role:
• managing emotions in the room
• remembering what others forget
• anticipating needs
• smoothing rough edges
• holding things together
Not because you’re “better at it,”
but because you’re perceptive, responsive, and attuned.

Over time, this creates an imbalance:
You give energy.
You give attention.
You give care.
And eventually, the question arises:
Who is caring for the caretaker?
ADHD burnout often isn’t just about tasks.
It’s about emotional labor without replenishment.

Therapy becomes one of the few places where:
• you don’t have to manage anyone else
• your needs don’t come last
• care flows toward you instead of away
Day eight invites a necessary pause.
Caretaking is valuable.
But it should not require self-erasure.
You are allowed to receive the care you so freely give.
And you don’t have to earn rest by exhaustion.






www.neardeartherapy.com

01/01/2026

Here is my latest blog post about the stress of December's events have on folks with ADHD. If you have ADHD pause today to read this and reflect now that it has passed.

What worked and what didn't for you this holiday season?

How do you feel right now, as December comes to a close?If you’re being honest, your answer might include exhaustion, overwhelm, or a quiet sense of relief that it’s finally over.If so — you’re not imagining it.December asks more of ADHD brains than most people realize. And if you’re here ...

01/01/2026

12/31/2025

Day Seven of Christmas: Seven Swans A-Swimming

Swans don’t rush.
They don’t force their movement.
They glide.
Symbolically, seven swans a-swimming represent emotional flow, presence, and grace —
the ability to move with life instead of against it.

For ADHD nervous systems, this is not a personality trait.
It’s a state.

After cycles of overproduction and burnout, emotions often feel:
• backed up
• overwhelming
• unpredictable
• either flooding or frozen
Not because emotions are the problem —
but because there hasn’t been enough space for them to move.
Swans remind us that regulation isn’t about control.
It’s about allowing motion without panic.

In therapy, this often looks like:
• learning to stay present with feelings instead of suppressing them
• letting emotions rise and pass without immediate action
• trusting that movement doesn’t require force

Grace emerges when the nervous system feels safe enough to stay.
Day seven offers a countercultural truth:
You don’t have to push to make progress.
Sometimes the most healing movement is gentle, steady, and unforced.
Emotional flow isn’t something you earn.
It’s something that returns when pressure eases and presence is restored.

12/31/2025

Please reserve your spot at: https://www.neardeartherapy.com/contact
or you can call the number listed as well.



www.neardeartherapy.com

12/30/2025

Day Six of Christmas: Six Geese A-Laying

Geese a-laying are busy.
They produce.
They create.
They don’t stop to ask whether it’s sustainable.
Symbolically, the six geese represent output —
what we make, accomplish, and produce in the world.

For ADHD women, this symbol often carries a familiar cycle:
• bursts of intense productivity
• followed by exhaustion
• followed by guilt
• followed by another push
Not because of laziness.
Not because of lack of motivation.
But because ADHD brains run on interest, urgency, and energy — not steady output.

When productivity is driven by pressure instead of rhythm, burnout isn’t a failure.

It’s an inevitable consequence.

Day six invites a different question:
What are you producing — and at what cost?
Therapy often helps people notice:
• when effort has become self-abandonment
• when productivity has replaced worth
• when rest is treated as something to “earn”

Geese lay eggs because it’s their season to do so.
They don’t lay endlessly.
ADHD nervous systems also need seasons:
• seasons of focus
• seasons of rest
• seasons of recovery

Burnout isn’t a personal flaw.
It’s a signal that the cycle needs to change.
Day six reminds us:
You are allowed to slow the output —
and still be valuable.






www.neardeartherapy.com

12/29/2025

Day Five of Christmas: Five Golden Rings

Golden rings are circles —
they have no beginning and no end.
Symbolically, they represent what we return to again and again:
• values
• commitments
• truths
• rhythms that hold us over time

For ADHD brains, this symbol matters deeply.
ADHD often gets misunderstood as inconsistency or lack of follow-through.
But what’s usually happening is something different:
👉 Too many demands, not enough anchors.
When everything feels urgent, nothing feels central.
When values aren’t clearly named, attention gets pulled in every direction.

The five golden rings invite us to ask:
What are the few things that actually matter — the ones worth returning to?
Not every task deserves equal weight.
Not every expectation deserves your energy.
Not every call needs to be answered.

For ADHD women especially, clarity comes not from doing more,
but from orienting again and again to what’s most meaningful.
In therapy, this often looks like:
• identifying core values
• noticing where energy naturally returns
• releasing commitments that don’t align
• building life around what truly sustains you

Golden rings aren’t about perfection or discipline.
They’re about continuity.
Day five reminds us:
You don’t need to hold everything.
You just need a few steady truths you can keep coming back to.

12/28/2025

Day Four of Christmas: Four Calling Birds

Calling birds are loud.
They announce.
They repeat themselves until they’re heard.

Symbolically, the four calling birds represent the mind —
specifically, the stream of thoughts that call for attention.
For ADHD brains, this is often where things feel the most overwhelming.
Thoughts don’t arrive one at a time.
They come in clusters.
They interrupt each other.
They demand immediate response.
Not because the mind is broken —
but because it’s highly sensitive, highly associative, and constantly scanning.
Calling birds don’t mean danger.

They mean information.
But when the nervous system is stressed, those signals get louder:
• rumination
• looping thoughts
• mental noise
• difficulty filtering what matters
ADHD isn’t a failure of thinking.

It’s often a difficulty prioritizing which calls to answer.
Day four reminds us:
You don’t need to silence the mind.
You need help sorting the signals.
In therapy, this looks like:
• learning which thoughts need action
• which need compassion
• and which can simply pass

The mind doesn’t need to be quiet to be healthy.
It needs to feel heard, organized, and grounded.
Four calling birds invite discernment —
not suppression.






www.neardeartherapy.com

12/27/2025

Day Three of Christmas: Three French Hens

Traditionally, the three French hens have been interpreted as symbols of the three core virtues or the triune nature of wholeness.
Archetypally, they represent integration.

From a psychological lens, this maps beautifully onto the idea of:
• mind
• body
• emotion
Three distinct systems — meant to work together.

For many ADHD women, these systems don’t always feel aligned.
The mind races.
The body is overstimulated or exhausted.
Emotions surge without warning.
Not because something is “wrong” —
but because integration is harder to maintain under stress.

When the nervous system is overloaded, these parts split:
• thinking without feeling
• feeling without grounding
• pushing the body past its limits
The three hens remind us that regulation isn’t about control —
it’s about coordination.
Therapy often becomes the place where:
• thoughts slow enough to be felt
• emotions are allowed without overwhelm
• the body is listened to instead of overridden
Integration isn’t dramatic.
It’s quiet.
It’s rhythmic.
It’s returning again and again to the conversation between mind, body, and heart.

Day three asks a gentle question:
What part of you has been left out of the conversation lately?
Wholeness doesn’t come from perfection.
It comes from letting all three speak — together.






www.neardeartherapy.com

12/26/2025

Day Two of Christmas: Two Turtle Doves
In traditional symbolism, two turtle doves represent love, fidelity, and devoted partnership.
They mate for life. They stay close. They return to one another.
Archetypally, they symbolize secure attachment —
the experience of being emotionally held with another.
And this is where they connect deeply to the ADHD nervous system.
ADHD isn’t just about attention.
It’s about regulation.
ADHD brains regulate better in relationship — through:
• co-regulation
• emotional attunement
• feeling seen, mirrored, and steady with another person
When that attachment is inconsistent, absent, or unsafe, the nervous system stays on high alert.
Focus gets harder.
Emotions spike faster.
Time collapses.
Urgency takes over.

Two turtle doves remind us of something essential:
We are not meant to learn to self-regulate alone.

Therapy works not because someone gives advice,
but because a steady, attuned relationship helps the nervous system settle enough to grow, a person who can teach self control.

For ADHD women especially, this matters.
So many learned early to:
• overfunction
• mask
• self-soothe without support
• “handle it” alone

Day two gently counters that story.

Connection isn’t a weakness.
It’s a biological need.
And when attachment is steady, the mind quiets, attention returns, and the system finally feels safe enough to rest.
Two turtle doves aren’t just about romance.
They’re about the healing power of being met.






www.neardeartherapy.com

12/25/2025

This Christmas, Give Yourself the Gift You Actually Need

Seems like sometimes we invest in everything accept the one thing that matters most. Ourselves.

You're on top of investing in your material world but what about the place you truly live — your inner world?

You’d never skip a yearly inspection on your house, or your rental properties.
Not because it’s falling apart,
but because problems are easier to solve when they’re small.

THERAPY WORKS THE SAME WAY!

Most people wait until something cracks…
until stress becomes burnout,
until hurt becomes disconnection,

But what if 2026 is the year you decide to care for your inner home
before it reaches crisis?

Therapy isn’t a repair job.
It’s maintenance and at it's best it is a place to invest in
Equity-Building Improvements of your Body, Mind and Spirit.

It’s prevention.
It’s choosing long-term health over short-term coping.
It’s an investment — one that compounds more than any stock you own.

This Christmas, give yourself something that lasts longer and 2026 can be the year you finally walk into the home inside you
and say, “Let’s make this place shine.”

I can help!

New Year’s Day: Free “Ask a Therapist” Calls will be available!

On January 1st, I’m offering FREE 15-minute “Ask a Therapist” calls —
a gentle, no-pressure way to start 2026 with clarity and intention.

📅 January 1st
⏰ 10:00 am – 12:00 pm (Pacific)
You may reserve a time here:
🔗 https://calendly.com/amy-ratkovich/20?month=2025-12
Or simply call and leave a message at:
📞 510-269-4808

No obligations. No diagnosis. Just support.

NO SPAM ;)

Think of this as a New Year’s check-in for the home you actually live in — your inner world


www.neardeartherapy.com

12/25/2025

Let's sing! :)

Day One of Christmas: A Partridge in a Pear Tree
Traditionally, the partridge in a pear tree symbolizes Christ —
a singular, quiet gift representing presence, sacrifice, and meaning that unfolds over time.

It’s not loud.
It’s not urgent.
It doesn’t demand attention.

And that’s where this symbol connects so deeply to the ADHD experience.
ADHD brains are wired for immediate feedback — novelty, stimulation, urgency.
Quiet value is harder to register.
Subtle rewards often go unnoticed.

So the challenge isn’t a lack of discipline.

It’s a nervous system that struggles to stay present long enough to feel the gift.
The partridge invites something different:
• stillness instead of speed
• presence instead of pressure
• meaning before reward
This is the heart of therapy, too.
Learning to stay with something before it “pays off.”
Learning to notice value that doesn’t shout.
Learning to trust that what’s growing quietly is still real.
Day one reminds us:
Not all gifts sparkle immediately — some ask us to slow down enough to see them.





www.neardeartherapy.com