02/07/2026
There was a time when my “kindness” wasn’t really kindness at all—it was survival.
If you liked me, maybe I was safer. I wasn’t mean—I was scared, overwhelmed, and my nervous system was always on high alert. I couldn’t really see other people.
With recovery, 12-step work, and somatic healing, I started practicing being “other-centered” on purpose—doing kind things quietly, without needing a gold star. As my system calmed, I had more bandwidth to notice others and care from a genuine place, not from fear or people-pleasing.
Now, kindness is part of my Self-care: asking, “How can I be supportive?” and honoring my own boundaries at the same time.
If this resonates, I dive deeper into this in my latest blog post, Kindness as Self-Care. I’d love for you to read and see what lands for you.
🔗 https://www.evaangvert.com/blog/kindness-as-self-care