Warrior Medical Associates

04/17/2026

Dr. Chris' Words:
A man came into my office and exclaimed, "Doctor, I think I'm shrinking!"
"Calm down," I told him, "You'll just have to be a little patient."

04/15/2026

Dr. Chris' Words:

Mr. Wong and his wife immigrated legally from China to America and were model citizens.
Then Mrs. Wong became pregnant and she was referred to a OBGYN specialist. Nine months later, she gave birth to a healthy Caucasian boy. When confronted, she insisted that her husband was the father.
"No," said Mr. Wong, "Two Wongs don't make a white."

PS: Just so my mom doesn't have a stroke - It's just a joke, people! It would be wong to joke about real people, of course.
The image was produced by AI.

03/21/2026

Dr. Chris' Words:

Medical fact - Did you know that when you die, your pupils are the last thing to stop working? They dilate.

03/03/2026

Dr. Chris' Words:
I was doing a routine blood pressure check on an older woman with hypertension recently.

To try and prevent 'white coat hypertension,' I said to her, "Now ma'am, I really want you to relax. Take a couple of big deep breaths and let the world go. Close your eyes and go some place relaxing in your mind, like the beach or the forest."

She closed her eyes and said , "I'm thinking of being at the shooting range and my husband is down range."

After I finished laughing, I looked at her blood pressure reading - it was perfectly controlled.

02/27/2026

Dr. Chris's Words:
Back in the summer of 1988, I was in Germany serving as a Baltist youth minister for the Christian kids whose military parents were serving our nation on Rhein Mein Airforce base - hence, the C5 jumbo cargo plane picture below. I was staying in the local church parsonage attic and one day I had nothing planned with the youth group and it was raining. I was missing my girlfriend back home and as I sat there feeling blue, the raindrops pelting the window in my room, an the words to this song came to mind. I grabbed my guitar and put my words to music so I could sing it to her when I got back home to Alabama. Thankfully, she waited for me and it wasn't long afterwards that we were engaged and then happily married. Of course, I'm no professional singer, so I recently had it professionally done. Hope you like it!

Listen and make your own on Suno.

02/25/2026

Dr. Chris Harper wrote a song he'd like to share with our patients. Years ago, an older Godly Christian passed away and Dr. Chris began thinking how his father, Dr. Harper, missionary doctor to Indonesia and Warrior, Alabama would one day be received in heaven by the King. That's what inspired the song. All Christians have someone in their lives - or who have passed on - who reached them for the Kingdom of God, so the song should be meaningful to every Christian. Hope you all enjoy it!

Listen and make your own on Suno.

02/16/2026

Please be aware we are having technical issues today! Our internet and phone system is out! Sorry for the inconvenience!

02/06/2026

Dr. Chris' Words:

A doctor friend put a sign on his office door: "If I cure you, I get $100, if not, you get $1000."
A lawyer figures that's easy money for him, so he comes in and says, "Doctor, I can't taste anything. Can you cure me?"
The doctor smiles and orders the nurse to bring him the medicine from drawer 33 for the lawyer to drink.
The lawyer immediately spits it out, "That's rubbing alcohol!" he screams. "Are you trying to kill me?"
"Taste cured!" said the doctor. That'll be $100 please."
Defeated, but not broken, the lawyer returns a week later. "Doctor, I can't remember anything, can you cure me?"
The doctor responded, "Nurse, please bring me the medicine in drawer 33."
"Oh no you don't," says the lawyer. That's what you gave me last time I was here and I'm not falling for it!"
"Memory cured!" said the doctor with a smile. "That'll be $100. Thank you, sir."
Incensed, the lawyer comes back a week later. "Doctor, I can't see! Can you cure me?"
"I'm so sorry," says the doctor. "I can't cure blindness. Here's your $1000 in ten $100 bills." The doctor pulls out the money and begins to count out the bills in the lawyer's hand.
"Wait a minute!" the lawyer says. "Those are $1 bills! You, sir, are a cheat!"
"Vision cured!" the doctor smiles.

Sometimes I wonder if lawyers tell doctor jokes.

02/05/2026

Dr. Chris' Words:
Coca-Colas used to contain about 3.5 mg of co***ne. That explains why our parents and grandparents could walk barefoot 8 miles to school in the rain, sleet and snow, uphill both ways.

02/05/2026

Dr. Chris' Words:

Where do fishermen go when they get seasick?

To the doc.

01/26/2026

DUE TO INCLEMENT , WEATHER OUR OFFICE WILL CLOSE ON JANUARY 26TH AND HOPE TO REOPEN , ON JANUARY 27TH.

01/13/2026

Lynn, Dr. Chris' wife: "Honey, you're awfully quiet. What are you thinking about? Rough day at work?"
Dr. Chris: "No. Nothing."
Lynn: "Oh come on, you have to be thinking about something! Are you sad? Did one of your patients pass away? Are you stressed out? Are you mad at me? Are you thinking about the kids? Are you worried about your mom and dad getting older?"... multiply that by 17,562 more questions as she tries to get him to open up and share his deepest thoughts and concerns.
Dr. Chris "OK, fine. Do you really wanna know what I'm thinking about?"
Lynn: "Yes, please. It's important that you share your heart."
Dr. Chris: "OK, I was just wondering who would win in a battle, 1000 T-800 terminators or 1 million Spartan warriors." 😂

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