Askable Mama

Counseling & Mental Health Services
Early Sexual Health Education, Parenting

01/09/2026

There are no words for the heaviness and, quite frankly, the bizarreness of this time. On the one hand we’re trying to sign up for camps, pack lunches, cheer on the game, and on the other we’re watching horror unfold and feeling helpless, maybe fearful, and maybe avoidant.

But if your child is at an age where they are seeing or hearing about the shooting of Renee Nicole Good, it’s necessary to talk to them about it. It’s important that they don’t normalize what’s happening here. It’s important for them to understand that this is not normal. None of it! Including the seeming indifference being shown to a woman dying in front of you and denying her assistance. That is not normal and watching it again and again, and not having it denounced, is desensitizing.

12/15/2025

Love this post by and but wanted to add three points of my own:

1) I think giving a specific age is complicated. The conversations and needs are more important than a specific age. (I’m not advocating for 13 year olds to have phones but I am saying NO tween or teen should have ANY device if they haven’t had the conversations or learning about the items listed on the right).

2) You may be very specific about delaying “smartphone” use, but if you’re waiting until your child is 13 or 16 and in the meantime they have access to an iPad and play games like Roblox, interact in group chats, and use the internet - they may as well have a phone! When a child has access to this kind of device (and arguably sooner) they should have had many conversations about the concerns listed here.

3) talk to them about S*xtortion!! Tell them what it will look/sound/feel like and let them know what to do if it happens.

Need help having these conversations? Reach Out!

10/21/2025

I’m off my usual topic but wanted to say a huge thank you to .awkward for addressing my question with a whole episode!

With so many caffeinated products being marketed to tweens and teens I think a lot about the impacts.

Some of the things I’ve been contemplating are:

Could there be a correlation between the high rates of anxiety in kids and caffeine intake?

What are the risks of using caffeine as a performance enhancer in academics and sports?

How addictive is caffeine?

Does early caffeine use impacts later addictive tendencies (they may do a whole other episode on this but my very light research on the topic says it can!)

Here’s a link to the episode:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-is-so-awkward/id1576221880?i=1000728004895

09/11/2025

This post is not about my feelings on Charlie Kirk.

This post is about parents taking the opportunity to connect with their teens in this heavy moment.

In the past 24 hours I have heard of kids watching the graphic video of the shooting (some intentionally and others not realizing what they were about to see) then vomiting or needing to be picked up from school.

I’ve heard of kids being made fun of for having intense reactions like those mentioned above.

I’ve heard of kids feeling surprised and confused about close friends having different points of views when they’d thought they were aligned.

I’ve heard about kids feeling more afraid of gun violence and political violence than they were just a few days ago.

And as for my views on this person…Until yesterday I didn’t really know who he was and now that I’ve learned a bit about him, I’m glad that was the case. I also think that what happened was horrific. As is any type of political violence including the assassination of Melissa Hortman or January 6th.

09/08/2025

Something I say today that I didn’t say 10 years ago is that having conversations about p**nography with your tween or teen is a must!

What’s changed? For starters; Access, & availability. Even if your kid doesn’t have access to their own device or social media - they have friends that do or they have devices at school. They’ll find it and it will find them.

These conversations will sound very different for an 8, 11, and 14 year old but they can all include some reminder that p**n is not for kids! Let your child know that if they come into contact with it, they can let you know and they won’t be in trouble. And tweens and teens should know that what they are seeing is a movie - not an accurate portrayal of s*x.

(And btw, especially with younger kids, you don’t necessarily need to use the language of p**n but you can still tell them “…there are all sorts of wild things you can come across online. That could including things that seem scary or silly or funny - like pictures of naked people” for example)

For more assistance or support around these conversations follow me here or DM me your questions.

07/18/2025

This story introduces so many great conversation starters …

Is canoodling with a coworker, who is not your wife, in a public place with likely 60,000+ people a place you should expect to have a private moment?

Is it fair to jump to conclusions about this person and his role as a partner? (I’d actually argue his personal life is none of our business and we have no idea what his commitments and agreements are in the bounds of his marriage but still think it makes for interesting discussion)

When an apology acknowledges taking accountability while also acknowledging what happened wasn’t fair, does it make the apology less sincere?!

Okay, perhaps I’m being a little tongue in cheek in my tone here, but these are interesting points of discussion with your older kids …and your friends and partners.

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