Rima Jaber, PLPC

04/14/2026

Some children grow up with parents who are physically present, but emotionally unavailable.

The parent is there…
but not fully there.

There may be food, shelter, and routine.
But little emotional attunement.
Little comfort.
Little reassurance.
Little sense of being truly seen, felt, or deeply connected to.

And when that happens, the child often adapts.

They may start trying harder to earn closeness.
To be good enough.
Helpful enough.
Easy enough.
Successful enough.
Anything that might finally bring the warmth, attention, or emotional connection they long for.

That pattern does not always stay in childhood.
It can quietly follow them into adulthood.

So later, they may feel strongly attached to people who are distant, inconsistent, emotionally hard to reach, or only available in small moments.

Not necessarily because those relationships are healthy.
But because the dynamic feels familiar.

The longing feels familiar.
The waiting feels familiar.
The hoping feels familiar.
Even the pain of not fully being chosen can feel familiar.

This is why chasing can sometimes feel like love.

Because for some people, love was never modeled as something steady, safe, and emotionally available.

It was something they had to reach for.

And the nervous system remembers that.

So when someone is emotionally unavailable in adulthood, it can activate the old desire to finally be enough to receive the love that once felt out of reach.

But real love does not require you to keep chasing it.

It does not make you prove your worth over and over.
It does not feed you in crumbs and call that connection.

Healing often begins when you realize:
you are not only reacting to the person in front of you.
You may also be reacting to an older pattern your body has known for a long time.

If this resonates with you, both of my books go deeper into these patterns.

I Didn’t Choose to Be Born explores how childhood wounds shape your emotional world, coping patterns, and sense of self.

Chasing Love That Hurts explores how those same wounds show up in attachment, emotional fixation, and painful relationship patterns in adulthood.

Both are available through the link in my bio

04/14/2026

Everything changes
when you become more intentional.

Not all at once…
but in the quiet decisions you make every day.

In the way you use your energy.
In the boundaries you begin to respect.
In what you choose to keep…
and in what you keep allowing,
even when you know it costs you.

In how you show up, even when no one sees.
In the steps you take toward what truly matters.

Your life doesn’t change overnight.
It shifts, slowly…
with every choice that starts to feel more honest.

DM | Daily Motivation by Alice

04/14/2026

Janina Fisher will be speaking at the 37th Annual Boston International Trauma Conference this May! bit.ly/traumacon37

03/24/2026

Today, I sat down for a coffee
with the version of me
who carried everything
before I knew how to.

I wasn’t sure
if I was ready for that conversation…
but I sat down anyway.

She asked
if we’re finally free.

I paused.
And said… we’re on our way.
And somehow, that already feels like a lot.

She asked
if all the pain is gone.

I told her no.
But it doesn’t live in the same place anymore.

Then, more quietly,
she asked
if I’m proud of her.

And that’s when my voice changed.

I told her
she’s the best part of me.

Because it was her strength,
her courage,
her persistence…
that brought me here.

She didn’t need applause.
She just needed to know
it was worth it.

She cried.
And I… smiled.

Because this time,
I understood why.

03/24/2026

03/24/2026

The illusion is the version of life you accepted just to survive.
The self-betrayal you called love.
The chaos you called normal.
The bare minimum you called enough.

And sometimes losing everything is what finally helps you see that clearly.
You start to reflect.
You start to notice the patterns.
You start to grieve what you tolerated, what you normalized, and the ways you abandoned yourself just to make it through.

But somewhere in that honesty, something begins to shift.
You rise.
You rebuild with more truth.
More self-respect.
More awareness.
And that is how you meet your grandest self at the edge.

Not in comfort but in the moment you finally decide you can no longer live beneath what your soul knows you deserve.

03/24/2026

For many of us, safety was never the baseline.

We learned early how to read a room, soften our voices, manage other people’s moods, and make ourselves smaller so conflict wouldn’t explode.

So when we say safety matters, we are not talking about comfort. We are talking about the radical experience of being able to show up as a full human being. Imperfect, emotional, sometimes overwhelmed, and still met with care instead of punishment.

Real safety does not require performance, silence, or shrinking yourself. It simply says you are allowed to be human here. And for many survivors, that kind of safety is the rarest love language of all.

꩜ Ella

03/13/2026

You live… and somewhere along the way, you begin to heal. ✨

02/26/2026

As we recognize Black History Month and the sacred season of Ramadan, we honor the resilience, faith and cultural strength within Black and Muslim communities. We also acknowledge the barriers, stigma and disparities that still exist in access to mental health care.

Advocating for minority mental health means more than awareness. It means intentional action, cultural humility and ongoing commitment.

At Finding Solace, our goal is to create spaces where identity is respected, faith is understood and lived experience is met with care, not explanation.

This work does not begin and end with a month.
It continues every day.

Everyone deserves care that truly sees them.

02/14/2026

❤Happy Valentine’s Day!❤

Today is about love in all its forms.
Romantic love, friendship, family, and the quiet, powerful love you build within yourself.

Whether you are celebrating with someone special or spending the day honoring your own growth, your love matters.

Wishing you a day filled with kindness, connection and compassion.

02/14/2026

Valentine’s Day can bring connection, joy and sometimes comparison, pressure or loneliness.

But love is not only something you give away, it is something you practice with yourself.

Self-love looks like setting boundaries, resting without guilt, and speaking to yourself with compassion instead of criticism.

Therapy is a space to strengthen the relationship you have with you because that is the one you carry into every season.

This Valentine’s Day, choose love that starts within.
Find your space❤️

02/12/2026

The Hard Truth: You are trying to find shelter in a space that was never designed for your soul. Peace doesn't come from knocking harder; it comes from the quiet realization that you are free to walk away. Real detachment is the moment you stop trying to convince a house to become a home and start walking toward the place that's already waiting for you to arrive.
The most exhausting part? You've probably spent years believing it was your responsibility to make them understand, to make them soften, to make them see you. You've reworded your needs, timed your requests perfectly, made yourself smaller — all while the real issue remained unchanged: you were standing at an address that could never be home.
Detachment isn't cold. It isn't giving up. It's the sacred act of releasing what was never meant to hold you so your hands are finally free to reach for what is.
If you're ready to stop apologizing for outgrowing spaces that can't grow with you, my book "Detached" will show you how to release what no longer serves you without losing yourself in the process. Link in bio 🤍