INNR Counseling

10/10/2021

The purpose of Domestic Violence Awareness Month is to mourn those lost to abuse, celebrate survivors, and network for change.

On average 20 people per minute are experience physical violence by an intimate partner in the US. As many as 45 million children are affected by domestic violence in the United States per year and that 90% of those children see the violence going on with their own eyes.

Some of the ways you can participate include wearing purple, organizing an event, attending an event, spreading the word, and sharing your story if you've experienced domestic violence firsthand or lost a loved one to it.

For help - National Domestic Violence Hotline (1.800.799.SAFE (7233).

https://www.thehotline.org

Florida- Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-500-1119

There is a way out. 💜

02/13/2021

💗🌸sending everyone love and light on this Valentine’s weekend 🌸💗

12/03/2020

The most wonderful read ❤️ ....

“Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing.

It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution.

It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take deliberate, mandated breaks from living to do basic things like drop some oil into a bath and read Marie Claire and turn your phone off for the day.

A world in which self-care has to be such a trendy topic is a world that is sick. Self-care should not be something we resort to because we are so absolutely exhausted that we need some reprieve from our own relentless internal pressure.

True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.

And that often takes doing the thing you least want to do.

It often means looking your failures and disappointments square in the eye and re-strategizing. It is not satiating your immediate desires. It is letting go. It is choosing new. It is disappointing some people. It is making sacrifices for others. It is living a way that other people won’t, so maybe you can live in a way that other people can’t.

It is letting yourself be normal. Regular. Unexceptional. It is sometimes having a dirty kitchen and deciding your ultimate goal in life isn’t going to be having abs and keeping up with your fake friends. It is deciding how much of your anxiety comes from not actualizing your latent potential, and how much comes from the way you were being trained to think before you even knew what was happening.

If you find yourself having to regularly indulge in consumer self-care, it’s because you are disconnected from actual self-care, which has very little to do with “treating yourself” and a whole lot do with parenting yourself and making choices for your long-term wellness.

It is no longer using your hectic and unreasonable life as justification for self-sabotage in the form of liquor and procrastination. It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care lovingly attends to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix in the first place.

It means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It is giving the hell up on some goals so you can care about others. It is being honest even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It is meeting your own needs so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people.

It is becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it.”
-Brianna Wiest

11/20/2020

A friend shared this and I really liked the lesson! *still looking for original poster (Kate Scott 2018)*:

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.

When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.
I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.
“What are you struggling with?” he asked.
I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”
Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”
I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.
I wanted to have something more substantial.
Something more profound.
But I didn’t.
So I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”
I felt like an idiot even saying it.
What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?
But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:

“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.
“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”
It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.
That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.
I felt like I had conquered a dragon.
The next day, I took a shower lying down.
A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the f**k they fit.
There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.
Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

THERE ARE NO RULES.
RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!

10/23/2020

October marks Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

I know you’ve heard it before: Breast cancer impacts approximately 1 in 8 women in their lifetimes, so being proactive about your breast health is extremely important.

Get into the habit of doing monthly breast self-examinations, early detection is key!

As we encounter those that have been impacted by breast cancer, let’s be mindful.

Anyone can get breast cancer.

Breast cancer manifests in different ways for different people.
Someone doesn’t have to ‘look tired’ or even suffer major hair loss to still be battling breast cancer, be kind.
Each person diagnosed with cancer is a unique human-being not a categorized disease.
When you put all in one category, you drown out the individual problems one can face.
Each is dealing with different circumstances and facing a different struggle.
When we treat and approach those who have cancer as unique individuals, it opens the door to understand them mentally, spiritually, and physically.

If I leave you with one thing, it would be this-

It is important to pay attention to and care for your body, to have a relationship with healthcare providers who you trust, to do the annual recommended testing, to TRUST YOUR GUT when something seems off.
It’s not the fun stuff, but it is really important.
You’re worth it.

10/07/2020

*Trigger Warning*

October marks the beginning of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Too many women and families grieve their losses in silence. While these babies lives may have been brief, they were filled with love and meaning especially for their parents. This month is to bring awareness to not only the statistics and the resources, but also the stories of the families. If you haven’t experienced it yourself, it’s very likely someone close to you has. There may be several women in your life and you may not even know they experienced such a loss.

1 in 4 women suffer from the loss of their baby during pregnancy, delivery, or infancy.

It happens to our grandmothers, mothers, daughters, sisters, nieces, cousins, and friends.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve never had a baby or if you had four healthy babies.

You can do all the right things and still experience such a loss.

The grief that comes with this kind of loss is so real and raw. It is all of the the hopes, dreams and imagined future that is lost as well. Many times it is not talked about.

For all of us, it can be hard, but don’t shy away from the pain of a grieving parent. Show them that you’re there and willing to listen if they need it. Reach out, use their baby’s name if they have one. Their little one is important, remembered, and so loved.

Please remember there is no time limit on your grief and most importantly you are not alone.

Lots of love for your little butterflies. 🦋

"When a child loses a parent they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses their partner they are widowed. When parents lose their child there is no word to describe them…simply that they are still parents.” - President Ronald Reagan *October, 1988.

***Please be mindful of those who experienced such a loss. Sometimes less is more when it comes to support, but please know that you won’t fix it. When a child is lost, there is certainly nothing to fix. “At least” is not the best way to start a sentence. ***

08/22/2020

Amazing!

SPECIAL DELIVERY: As Dr. Amanda Hess was getting into her hospital gown to be induced to give birth, she heard nurses prepping a woman who needed to give birth right away because her baby was in distress. But the woman's OBGYN was not at the hospital yet, so Dr. Hess (an OBGYN herself) put on another gown to cover her backside, threw on boots over her flip-flops and delivered the baby -- then her own: http://www.fox13news.com/health/271188356-story

08/16/2020

I like this metaphor 🤍

08/06/2020

Anger is a distress signal. ⁣⁣
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Anger in the postpartum period is a red flag that is being overlooked and misunderstood. ⁣⁣
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Studies have shown that moms struggling with PPA/PPA are more likely to have symptoms of rage. ⁣⁣
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This rage is often intense, hard to control and feels very uncharacteristic. ⁣⁣
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Here is a short excerpt from Jill Bucher of ⁣⁣
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“Anger is indeed a normal emotion that we can all have, but being prone to anger can indicate there’s something going on that needs to change.” She [Christine Ou] adds that there is some evidence that shows that if a woman is both angry and depressed, the depression can last longer and be more intense.⁣⁣
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The things that moms are angry about postpartum aren’t earth-shattering. Some feel trapped or helpless as they shoulder so many new responsibilities caring for a new baby while their own needs are left unfulfilled. Others find the reality of motherhood and the supports they receive don’t live up to their expectations. And many feel guilty that they aren’t the picture of the idealized self-sacrificing mother that’s upheld in our society.⁣⁣
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What’s more surprising is that no one’s thought to look at anger as a red flag for postpartum mood disorders sooner. Ou has a theory as to why it has been overlooked: “Culturally, we often aren’t comfortable with the emotion of anger because it can imply that you’re not in control—especially for women.” And women who’ve just had babies are expected to be particularly blissful.⁣⁣
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If you are struggling with postpartum rage please visit . They have several resources and a directory that can help you find a maternal mental health provider in your area. ⁣⁣
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https://www.todaysparent.com/baby/postpartum-care/postpartum-anger-is-the-red-flag-no-one-is-looking-for/⁣⁣

06/20/2020

In order to change, we first need to notice. After we take the first steps outside our comfort zone - it is then that we begin to change, grow, and transform.
Change isn’t comfortable, in its wake I hope we hold unto empathy. I remind myself that discomfort is part of the journey and it isn’t always pretty. The beautiful thing about growth is that with time we have the ability to see our changes. Growth is a process. It requires us to listen.
Keep going.
Keep growing. 🌱