Unfilteredd: Narcissistic Abuse

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Unfilteredd: Narcissistic Abuse

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My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse ❤️‍🩹
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03/18/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

Narcissists often blame others for the things that go wrong in their life.

They need to look and feel perfect at all times to feel good about themselves.

So when things go wrong, even something as small as dropping a spoon, they’ll often find a way to blame you so they can protect their “perfect” image.

This can really mess with your sense of responsibility.

What do I mean?

When someone is always finding a way to make things your fault, even when they’re not, it conditions you to automatically blame yourself for other people’s mistakes and problems.

There are a lot of ways this can show up, but one of the most common is over-apologizing.

This is when you say “sorry” unnecessarily or excessively, especially in situations where you haven’t done anything wrong.

If this is something you struggle with, one of the most helpful things you can do is give yourself the time and space to determine if something is actually your fault.

This doesn’t mean staying silent until you figure it out.

It means saying something like “thank you for listening to me” instead of jumping to “sorry for talking so much.”

Or “excuse me” instead of immediately apologizing for everything.

It’s a lot like using salt on food.

You can always add more, but it’s really hard to take it away once it’s there.

You can always apologize later, but it’s really hard and awkward to take an apology back once you’ve already said it.

So try creating a short list of responses you can use anytime you feel the urge to say sorry.

This should give you the time and space to figure out whether or not it’s actually your fault.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/13/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

This is a hill I'm willing to die on.

A fundamental requirement for our well-being is connection and recognition from others.

The silent treatment intentionally withdraws that connection and recognition.

And that's why it's abusive.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with my team.

We help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/12/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

In the video, I said the best thing you can do during a smear campaign is let the sand settle.

So how do you actually do that?

If I were you, I’d stop doing things like:

• justifying
• arguing
• defending
• explaining

And I’d start focusing on:

• staying cool, calm, and collected
• letting time expose the gaps and contradictions in the narcissist’s story
• taking small steps toward the person and life you want to build
• protecting your peace instead of your image

A smear campaign wants you frantic, reactive, and easy to paint as the problem.

So don’t help create the picture they’re trying to sell.

Let the sand settle.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with my team.

We help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/11/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

A big mistake I made when I first started setting boundaries is confusing them with rules.

In my opinion, external boundaries ("Don't speak to me like that") are more like rules.

You’re just stating a boundary, and hoping someone else will respect that.

In healthy relationships, there's nothing wrong with this.

But with narcissists, it's a waste of time because they refuse to follow your rules.

Internal boundaries are a whole different story.

They don't need the compliance of others to work because they aren't rules.

They're ACTIONS you take when a line is crossed.

Meaning it's completely in your control whether the boundary is respected or not.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with my team.

We help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/10/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

I've got a question for you today.

When the narcissist in your life knew you were onto them... what did they do?

All the best,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/08/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

I believe the most devastating revenge you can get on a narcissist is separating who you are from who they want you to be.

Why?

Think of it like this:

The narcissist is the Evil Queen from Snow White.

The Magic Mirror hanging in her castle is who they want you to be.

And Snow White is who you truly are.

The Queen’s existence depends on the mirror telling her she’s the fairest in the land, right?

Well, when you live as the person they want you to be, that’s exactly what happens.

You give them narcissistic supply, and that helps them feel like the “fairest in the land.”

But the moment you start living as who you truly are, all of that stops.

You’re no longer the mirror reflecting what they want to see.

You’re Snow White.

And that means the mirror is now telling the Queen something she cannot accept.

That she isn’t the fairest in the land.

So, separating who you are from who they want you to be is the most devastating revenge you can get because it shatters the illusion they depend on to survive.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with my team.

We help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/06/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

The one thing I'd like you to take away from this is that attention is like oxygen to a narcissist.

They feel like they need it to survive.

It doesn't matter what the special occasion is — a birthday, wedding, or even a funeral — they'll find a way to make it about themselves.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/05/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

If you're feeling used by the narcissistic person in your life, try this:

First, name the parts of you that were used.

This could be emotionally, physically, financially, psychologically, socially, or even spiritually.

For example, you might say "my reputation," "my body," or "my money."

The goal is to capture the real cost of having them in your life.

Second, think about how you can reclaim the parts of you that were used.

Instead of investing into them, how can you invest into yourself?

For example, let’s say you used to spend money on the narcissist’s gym membership.

Perhaps it’s time to use that money to improve your own health.

Or imagine you used to spend hours trying to figure out how to keep them happy.

Maybe it’s time to dedicate that energy to discovering what actually makes you happy.

The idea here is to create a list of practical ways you can get a return on your investment.

Third, take action.

Go through the list you made and mark the ones that feel most doable right now.

Then, once a day, a week, or a month, select one of the items on the list and give it a go.

For example, if you wrote down “my energy” and decided rest is one way you can reclaim it, today you might cancel plans or take a nap.

It doesn’t have to be big or done perfectly — it just has to be an investment into you.

At the end of the day, write down what you did, how it felt, and the impact it had on you.

Do this as often as you can, and save all the reflections you write.

Over time, you’ll be able to use them to guide yourself toward more of what felt good and had a positive impact and less of what felt bad and had a negative impact

This is how you can begin healing that feeling of being used.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with my team.

We help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/02/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

This was 8 out of the 9 criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the DSM-5.

1.) Grandiose sense of self-importance.

2.) Believes they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people.

3.) Requires excessive admiration.

4.) Has a sense of entitlement.

5.) Interpersonally exploitative.

6.) Lacks empathy.

7.) Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them.

8.) Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

The one I left out in the video was:

Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

And that’s simply because it’s a bit harder to explain in a short video.

But what it means is this:

They often live in an internal world where they see themselves as destined for something extraordinary — more talented, more attractive, more important, or more deserving than the people around them.

There are a million different ways this can show up, but at its core, that’s what it’s about.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with my team.

We help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/01/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana.

So, the reason I say they know what they’re doing is wrong is because I don’t believe you can switch it on and off depending on who’s watching without knowing exactly what you’re doing.

If you can be the perfect spouse, parent, friend, or colleague when people are watching, but turn into someone completely different when they’re not, you know what you’re doing.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/27/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

So, this example is from a romantic relationship.

But please know the “color inventory” can work for any type of relationship.

Here it is:

There was a woman in our community trying to emotionally detach from her narcissistic ex.

When we talked about the color inventory, she realized the "color" her ex gave her was feeling seen and heard.

So, she joined a poetry group.

She started writing these extremely vulnerable, deep pieces about who she is, what she’s been through, and what she wants out of life, and she read them up on stage.

An update she once gave was:

“I’m so glad I didn’t back out of this, because I felt more seen than I ever did in that entire relationship.”

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with my team.

We help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/26/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

The one thing I'd like you to take away from this is that if they’re giving you the silent treatment, flying into a rage, or anything in between, they're likely trying to hide something.

Of course, this isn't true 100% of the time, but it’s certainly a rule of thumb you can keep in your back pocket for the next time they’re having an extreme reaction to something.

All the best,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

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