Unfilteredd: Narcissistic Abuse

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My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse ❤️‍🩹
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04/21/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

What you're seeing here is a narcissistic person trying to fight their low sense of self-worth.

They do a great job at hiding it, but deep down they typically feel unlovable, unwanted, inadequate, worthless, and weak.

And this is a huge problem, because they don't know how to stop feeling this way.

So one of the things they do to protect themselves is distort reality.

Instead of acknowledging harm and trying to repair it, they shift the blame.

"They deserved it."

"They made me act that way."

Or they minimize the situation.

"It wasn't that bad."

"They're too sensitive."

Things like that.

And the thing that makes this so confusing is their conviction.

They say something mean, and they honestly believe you made them do it.

They do something cruel, and they honestly believe it wasn't that big of a deal.

So you're left there wondering if maybe you got it wrong, just because of how certain they are.

But you didn't.

And a strategy I like to use to remind myself of this is simply asking:

"Would I be okay if they treated someone I love like this?"

If the answer is no for them, then it's no for me too.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

04/11/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

This is just a skit, but it's an important conversation to have.

I get so many messages from people saying:

"I'm not sure if what happened to me was really abuse."

Abuse doesn't have to leave a mark to be real.

Choking, hair pulling, grabbing, pushing, hitting objects near you... all of it counts.

All of it is abuse.

And one thing I highly recommend you do is switch from "abuse" to "unacceptable."

When you call something abuse, you're measuring it against a definition society agreed on.

But guess what?

Society doesn't have a say about what's acceptable in your relationships.

You're the only one who gets to decide that.

So don't worry about whether it's abusive or not.

Focus on whether it's acceptable to you or not.

Because that's what matters most.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

04/09/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

With narcissists, gifts aren't really gifts.

They're transactions.

What do I mean by this?

In a healthy dynamic: A gift = "I wanted to do something nice for you."

In a narcissistic dynamic: A gift = "I've now earned something from you."

So when they talk about:

- how much it cost
- how hard it was to get
- what they sacrificed

They're setting the price of what you now "owe."

That "payment" can be:

- praise ("you're amazing")
- compliance (agreeing with them, not arguing)
- emotional tolerance (putting up with bad behavior)
- forgiveness later ("after all I've done for you…")

Either way, they expect something in return.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

04/08/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

The thing you have to keep in mind about narcissists is how low their self-worth actually is.

They do a very good job at hiding it.

But deep down, they feel unlovable, unwanted, inadequate, worthless, and weak.

And this is a problem, because they don't know how to work through these feelings in a healthy way.

So instead of dealing with them, they build an identity that protects themselves from them.

And a big part of that identity is the belief that they're perfect.

The idea here is "How could I be all those negative things if I'm perfect?"

So when you try to hold them accountable, you're not just asking them to take responsibility for something they've done.

You're asking them to acknowledge that their identity is built on a lie.

And that's why they take it as an attack.

If you have someone in your life like this and you need someone to talk to, you can always send me a DM or go to my bio to schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, it's what we do all day, every day, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

04/07/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

There are five things narcissists need to "survive":

Validation, admiration, reassurance, power, and control.

They get the first three by being the "perfect" spouse, parent, friend, etc. in public.

And they get the last two by being abusive and manipulative behind closed doors.

I believe the reason they do this is because they know if people saw who they really were, they would never get the validation, admiration, and reassurance they need.

So they try as hard as they can to keep that a secret.

And that's why when they can't control you, they try to control how others see you.

They don't want you to expose them.

So they ruin your reputation before you get the chance.

That way, if you do speak up, no one believes you.

I've got good news and bad news for you.

The good news is that they didn’t ruin your reputation because of who you are.

They did it because of what you could expose.

The bad news is you can't control what others choose to believe.

And that can leave you feeling pretty isolated.

So if you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or go to my bio to schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, it's what we do all day, every day, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

04/06/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

When you watched this video, did you think I was giving him the silent treatment?

I understand why you'd think that.

But what you're seeing here is actually the Gray Rock Method.

I was simply being neutral, uninteresting, non-reactive, and brief.

Why?

You know how fire needs oxygen to survive?

Narcissists are the same way.

They need your emotional reactions to feel in control.

So one of the best things you can do is stop giving them that reaction.

Because when they can't get it from you, they'll get angry, just like you saw in this video.

But eventually, they'll go looking for that reaction somewhere else.

And that gives you time to escape the situation, or at the very least, room to breathe.

That's what I was doing in this video.

I titled it "POV: You Treat Them Exactly How They Treat You" because I get so many messages from people feeling guilty about giving a narcissist the silent treatment.

So I wanted to play into that and set the record straight.

The silent treatment is a punishment.

The Gray Rock Method is protection.

Yes, on the surface they can look the same.

But one is meant to hurt someone.

And the other is meant to protect yourself.

So if you ever start feeling guilty for acting "cold" towards the narcissist in your life, ask yourself "Am I trying to hurt them or am I trying to protect myself?"

If you're trying to protect yourself, there's NOTHING wrong with that.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

04/05/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

It’s really common for narcissistic people to try to make you feel stupid.

But it’s not because you are.

It's because they’re unbelievably insecure and don't know how to handle it healthily.

Think of it like this.

Have you ever seen a zombie movie?

You know how they're attracted to sound?

They could be just standing there and the second they hear something, they run at it.

It's the same thing with narcissists and any mistake you make that they think is dumb.

They're just standing there with all of their insecurities.

Then you do something they think is stupid, and they run at it as quickly as they can.

Because if they can focus on your "stupidity," they don't have to focus on their own.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

04/04/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

What you're seeing here is guilt-tripping.

It's a tactic narcissists use so they don’t have to take responsibility for the things they do.

If someone in your life does this to you, I have good news and I have bad news.

The bad news is there’s nothing I can say here to make the guilt go away.

You’re probably going to struggle with that for the foreseeable future.

The good news is you don’t have to let this guilt-tripping control you anymore.

How?

The next time they start making you feel guilty, I want you to do two things:

The first is to ask, “Did I actually do something wrong?”

If you’re not sure, pretend someone you love is in the same situation.

Would you say they did something wrong?

The second is to adjust the way you think, speak, and act accordingly.

For example, in this video I could have asked:

“Wait, did I actually do something wrong here?”

If the answer is no:

I can refuse to think that I did.

I can stop myself from apologizing.

And I can stop myself from trying to make things right.

That way, I might still feel guilty because of what they said, but I’m not letting it control me.

I know this is a lot easier said than done.

So if you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/31/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

You know how your first instinct is to grab onto something when you’re falling?

That’s more or less what you’re seeing here.

Narcissists are some of the most insecure and unstable people on the planet.

So in a very real way, they always feel like they’re “falling.”

And when they grab for something, it’s usually whatever makes them feel powerful and in control.

So this wasn’t really about the headphones.

It was about feeling in charge.

They love being able to decide what happens to your things, because it makes them feel secure.

Just like grabbing onto something to catch yourself when you’re falling makes you feel secure.

And they’re not going to stop doing it.

They’re not going to just let themselves fall, you know what I mean?

So don’t waste your time trying to get them to stop.

Focus on limiting the amount of access they have to your things.

Because they can’t get rid of what they can’t access.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/30/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

You are not allowed to ask a narcissist for clarification.

They don't really see you as a separate person.

They see you as an extension of themselves.

So they expect you to have the same knowledge that they do.

So when you ask a question, they get upset.

Think of it like this…

Imagine your feet (an extension of you) suddenly forgot how to walk.

You're trying to get somewhere important, and they’re looking at you like:

“How do we do this again?”

You’d probably be upset, confused, freaked out, annoyed, etc., right?

It’s the same thing with narcissists.

They see us as extensions of themselves, so when we “don’t work properly,” they lose it.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/25/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

What you're seeing here is a narcissist regulating their insecurities.

They are some of the most insecure people on the planet.

Underneath it all, they feel unlovable, unwanted, inadequate, worthless, and weak.

But...

They don't have the emotional skills needed to process and regulate all of that.

So they shove it deep down within themselves and pretend it doesn't exist.

One of the ways they do this is through criticism.

They spend all their time "finding" (they often make them up) flaws in you so they don't have to acknowledge the ones they have themselves.

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

03/24/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

The reason this happens is because of how unpredictable narcissists are.

You're never really sure what's going to set them off, because some days it's one thing and other days it's something completely different.

So you're always tiptoeing around, trying to keep the peace.

If you're in a relationship like this of any kind, whether it's family, romantic, friendship, or workplace, I just want you to know that it isn't normal.

Healthy relationships DO NOT require this level of caution.

As always, if you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we’re here if you need us.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

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