Unfilteredd: Narcissistic Abuse

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Unfilteredd: Narcissistic Abuse

If you need someone to talk to, you can always DM me or sign up for a free session.

My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse ❤️‍🩹
https://unfilteredd.net/support/

02/20/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

A real apology:

- Expresses remorse
- Takes responsibility
- Names what they did
- Acknowledges the impact
- Tries to make it right

For example:

"I'm sorry I snapped at you. I was wrong. I took my bad day out on you, and that wasn't fair. What can I do to make it right?"

A fake apology:

- Shows no remorse
- Doesn't take responsibility
- Is really vague
- Ignores the damage
- Doesn't try to make it right

For example:

"Sorry if I upset you. I was just having a bad day. You know how I get. Let's just pretend this never happened."

But here’s the thing…

Nobody’s perfect, so apologies won’t be either.

However, real apologies are always followed by changed behavior.

Without change, it’s just manipulation.

All the best,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/16/2026

Hi, it's Juliana!

It's common for narcissists to communicate this way, so I thought I'd translate it to help you make sense of what's going on.

Invalidation → Making your feelings seem silly or wrong so they don’t have to deal with them.

Minimization → Acting like what happened isn’t a big deal so they don’t have to take responsibility.

Infantilization → Talking to you like you’re incapable so they can feel smarter or above you.

Manipulation → Getting you to give them what they want, when they want it, without asking directly.

Projection → Accusing you of the very things they’re doing to protect their “perfect” self-image.

Deflection → Changing the subject or turning it back on you to avoid accountability.

Devaluation → Cutting you down to lift themselves up.

Dehumanization → Lowering your status as a human being so they can justify how they treat you.

You're welcome to add to this if you'd like.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/15/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana.

The first time I watched this, I thought it was water.

The second time, I noticed something was off, but I still kind of believed it.

The third time, I saw the paper almost immediately.

What does this have to do with abuse?

Well, your brain doesn’t see reality.

It primarily predicts it based on past experiences.

That’s why it can take a couple times to realize it’s paper, not water.

And developing an internal sense of safety after experiencing abuse works the same way.

You can’t just say, “I’m safe now.”

You need to update your predictions.

Because your brain has to experience safety enough times to believe it.

For example, I know a woman whose heart would race anytime people raised their voices.

So she started listening to that show Piers Morgan has.

Why?

Because people often argue and talk over each other there.

She would turn up the volume and practice staying grounded while it happened.

Of course, it took a lot of practice in many different scenarios.

But the point I’m trying to make is this:

Feeling safe after abuse doesn’t have to be super complicated.

You can use small things, like clips from Piers Morgan’s show, to “update” your predictions.

If you need help with this or someone to talk to, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with my team, the first one is free.

We help people heal from abuse, so I’m here if you need me.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/11/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

They’re really good at acting confident and secure.

But narcissists are some of the most insecure people on the planet.

And they regulate that insecurity by putting other people down to lift themselves up.

For example, let’s say they’re really insecure about their weight.

They might attack you for your weight to project that insecurity onto you.

It’s their way of going:

“I’m not overweight, they are.”

Or they might attack some other part of your appearance just to get the focus off themselves.

Think of this as: “Don’t look at me, look at them.”

Why am I telling you all of this?

Because when they attack your appearance, it’s not really about how you look.

It’s about how attacking you makes them feel.

Yes, you might not be perfect...nobody is...

But I promise you, you are not as bad as these interactions with them make you feel.

It took me a long time to accept this.

And learning that it was about their insecurity not my actual appearance was one of the first steps in healing.

So I hope it can be for you too.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/09/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

If you have a narcissist in your life who is constantly criticizing you, I want you to know they’re not doing it because you’re doing something wrong.

They’re doing it because when they criticize you, they get to decide what’s “right” and what’s “wrong,” set the rules for how things are done, and hold the power in the interaction.

And this gives them the sense of control they need to feel secure about themselves and the world around them.

Now, I know it can make you feel like you’re not good enough or that you’ll never be good enough, and while that may be true that you’ll never be enough in their eyes, IT ISN’T BECAUSE OF YOU.

It’s because narcissists are like water cups with holes in the bottom.

It doesn’t matter how much you pour in, it will never be enough.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/08/2026

Hey, it’s Juliana!

The one thing I want you to take away from this video is that the things you do for the narcissist don’t really matter, because they’ve already decided who you are.

What do I mean?

There’s only one thing narcissists arguably need more than narcissistic supply: a scapegoat.

They need someone they can project all of their problems, insecurities, and wrongdoings onto so they can maintain a “perfect” image of themselves.

You’re that scapegoat.

So just like you saw in this video, it doesn’t matter what you do for them — they will always see you in a negative light.

But this has nothing to do with who you are or what you’ve done.

Yes…

There may have been parts of you that made you a more likely target for this role, things like people-pleasing, low self-worth, etc.

But there is nothing wrong with you, and you don’t deserve to be treated this way.

So if you need someone to talk to, you can always DM me, or sign up for a session with my team (the first one is free).

We help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and we’d love nothing more than to help you make sense of what’s happening and step out of the scapegoat role.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/07/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

Have you noticed this?

It doesn’t matter how soft your tone is or how carefully you choose your words.

They take just about everything you say as a personal attack.

This is because they have a SUPER fragile sense of self-worth.

They’re really good at appearing confident and sure of themselves.

But the truth is that they’re some of the most insecure people on the planet.

So anything that isn’t pure validation, admiration, or reassurance feels like a threat,
and they lash out like you saw in this video.

If you have or had someone in your life who did this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with my team, the first one is free.

We help people heal from narcissistic abuse, so I’m here if you need me.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/06/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

If there’s one thing all narcissists have in common, it’s a lack of accountability.

They’re allergic to it.

They can’t take responsibility for the things they do wrong because their entire existence is built on the belief that they’re “perfect.”

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/05/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

What you’re seeing here isn’t humility.

It’s envy.

Narcissists can’t just come out and say, “I’m jealous.”

In their eyes, that would mean admitting the other person is somehow better than them.

So when they’re faced with an undeniable truth like this (the house is beautiful), it’s really common for them to try to claim the moral high ground, like you saw in this video.

I hope this helps you make sense of what’s going on.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/04/2026

Hey, it’s Juliana!

Narcissists are like water cups with holes in the bottom.

It doesn’t matter how much time, energy, money, etc. you pour into them…

It will never be enough.

And that’s not on you, it’s on them.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/03/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana.

You know how your phone listens to what you say and then shows you ads for it later?

Narcissists do the same thing, but instead of ads, they use what you share against you.

This could mean throwing your insecurities back at you during an argument.

It could mean deliberately doing something they know bothers you.

Or it could even mean humiliating you in public.

But the point I’m trying to make is that they don’t listen to connect, they listen to collect.

They want to collect as much “data” on you as possible so they can use it against you in the future.

So moving forward, please be very careful about what you share with them.

If you have or had a narcissistic person in your life and you’d like someone to talk to, you can always send me a DM or book a call with my team.

We help people heal from narcissistic abuse, so I'm here if you need me.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

02/02/2026

Hi, it’s Juliana!

A big sign you’re dealing with a narcissist is when they never ask you a single question during a conversation. It’s just an endless monologue about everything going on in their life.

One of the reasons they do this is because we’re not human beings to them. We’re tools they can use to meet their needs.

And one of those needs is emotional regulation. They don’t know how to regulate their emotions, so they outsource that work to us, like you saw in this video.

They used me as a dumping ground for all of their problems and never made space for me in the conversation because my role wasn’t to be heard, it was to absorb.

This is an unbelievably draining thing to go through, so if there’s anything I can do to help, or if you’d just like someone to talk to, you can always DM me or book a call with my team.

We help people heal from narcissistic abuse, so I’m here if you need support.

To your healing,

Juliana ❤️‍🩹

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