Alexandra Rickeman, LCMFT

Alexandra Rickeman, LCMFT I help couples communicate and reconnect. Couples counseling, marriage therapy, individual therapy.

04/22/2026

“How do I talk to my child about p0rn?” This is how! This topic came up after my talk a few weeks ago, and it a wonderful script to follow to help parents with this difficult conversation! Just watching this a few times can help you get more comfortable with the topic, and your ability to talk about it matter-of-factly will do so much for how they receive the information.

04/22/2026
04/21/2026

“Am I going crazy? I wish our conversations were recorded!” This is how you feel when there’s gaslighting in your relationship. Advice at end on how to cope and heal.

Is your inner critic emotionally abusing you?
04/19/2026

Is your inner critic emotionally abusing you?

I want all my friendships to last a lifetime, but at this rate, I need to have a serious conversation with this friend called Me...

Awesome, informative response! With this sort of knowledge comes the ability to understand and love oneself!
04/18/2026

Awesome, informative response! With this sort of knowledge comes the ability to understand and love oneself!

I saw this posted in a large Neurodiversity group and I thought, I can answer all of those. Most of these questions are answered by nervous system science!

Autistic people have more sensitive nervous systems, so these become a problem for us easier than the general population. We're the "canaries in the coal mine" which means our threshold for reacting to negative stimulus is lower than average.

- Nervous system state strongly impacts if and how caffeine works. If you're already depleted, caffeine cannot magically create new energy. Caffeine tells our body to borrow from our energy stores for tomorrow and next week and next month, and eventually there is no energy available no matter how much caffeine screams "give me the energy." There are also genetic metabolism differences that affect how fast or slow we process caffeine.

- Most gastro problems are caused by nervous system imbalance and/or hypermobility. IBS-D is associated with fight/flight responses and adrenaline surges where gut motility happens too fast. IBS-C is associated with freeze/shutdown responses where gut motility just stops. Combination IBS can be from flipping between these two nervous system states. Hypermobility predisposes for allergies and food sensitivities because it makes the gut wall weaker and stretchier.

- There's a cluster of 3 genes that is usually inherited together - one codes for Autism or ADHD or similar, one codes for hypermobility, and one codes for immune hyper-activation. This is why so many Autistic people have chronic fatigue syndrome, POTS, MCAS, gluten/dairy/soy sensitivities, chemical & fragrance sensitivity, oral allergy syndrome, and many other autoimmune conditions.

- Stims meet tons of neurological needs. Repetitive motions create dopamine. Many stims are vagus nerve activating activities.

Being sensory seeking works for our brains because checking for sensory input is how our nervous system assesses for safety. For example, if we don't get enough auditory stimulation, our body might believe that our ears don't work anymore and that's scary and stressful to our subconscious. But if we can hear stuff, then the body is like: yep ears work, no worries there.

Proprioceptive sensation is one that easily goes offline for a lot of us. Without knowing where we are in space, it's hard to even know we exist. Moving our body in space tells our nervous system that our hands and feet do actually exist.

- Around 80% of the Autistic community identifies as LGBTQ+. If you are Autistic, you are likely to be outside of the social norm in more areas than just neurotype.

- The biggest thing that Autistics do better than NTs is bottom-up processing. We observe many small details and use those to build complex big pictures. NTs could never. They do top-down processing. NTs approach everything with preconceived ideas of what is expected and then fill in details from there.

Let me know if you have more questions about the Autistic experience! I don't know if I'll be able to answer all of them here, but they will inform future post topics.


🦎 My year long-course, 50 Vagus Exercises in a Year is enrolling now! We're exploring natural nervous system support, while honoring individual pacing and considering neurodivergent differences.

The exercises are taught through short videos, with a monthly Q&A session on zoom, and several more ways to learn with me, including a copy of my eBook when I finish it.

Paying to participate is optional. There's a sliding scale option and lots of free scholarship spots. My goal is to change the world with nervous system education and I don't beleive in gatekeeping this info.

Details here: https://traumageek.thinkific.com/courses/50-vagus-exercises-in-a-year-two

04/15/2026

Influencers are lying. But I thought *I* was fudging it up. Gaslighting explained in a silly example.

04/15/2026

Wow, this reminds me of my last post! Clarity is kindness; love that as a slogan.

04/13/2026

An adult autistic struggle you might not be aware of!

04/09/2026

Fighting a lot? Arguments never reach resolution? Learn these three ingredients for healthy conflict and you’ll be golden.

04/07/2026

No matter what’s annoying or frustrating you about your person right now, keep this in mind... If they have a character or mindset you respect and admire, that’s something special. That’s harder to find than you may realize. Take a moment to appreciate that, and maybe even express it to them.

(And if you are in a relationship with someone whose character you can’t respect or admire anymore, I’m sorry. That’s very hard and can be at the root of the falling-out-of-love feeling. If you need a place to sort through that, I can help.)

04/07/2026

Most people who jump to fixing are not dismissing their partner's feelings. They genuinely want to help and solving problems is how they show care.

But the help that actually helps is not fixing. It is witnessing. Feeling less alone in something hard is almost always more valuable than being handed a solution.

Save this framework and share it with your partner. Follow LoveSecurely for more practical relationship tools.

Address

Near Lemmon Road
Westminster, MD
21157

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 4pm
Tuesday 9am - 4pm
Wednesday 9am - 9pm
Thursday 7:30am - 4pm
7:30pm - 4pm
Friday 7:30am - 4pm
Saturday 9am - 1pm

Telephone

+14108615547

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