Best You Evolution, LLC

02/10/2026

02/07/2026

there’s a raging debate in various therapists groups right now. i want to be clear.

02/05/2026

i’m gutted that we even need these resources. but here we are.

02/01/2026

good news: if you feel exhausted, numb, furious, or foggy, your nervous system is doing it’s job. bad news: if you are reaching the point of overwhelm, it’s very likely the stress cycle isn’t getting closed out, or finished.

here is the who, what, where, why and how to close out the neverending stress cycles.

the stress cycle is our biological process our bodies use to 1. detect threat, b. mobilize energy (fight, flight, freeze, fawn), III. discharge that energy once the threat has passed.

most of us are stuck at b, because this is ongoing threat, fairly solid for a year now… your body doesn’t care whether the threat is a predator, deadline, economic uncertainty, state violence, watching rights erode, or the constant political and immoral upheaval. it responds the same way, mobilize to survive.
understanding the threat does not end the stress cycle, time passing does not end the stress cycle. telling yourself “i’m safe” does not end the stress cycle. only completion of the stress cycle can do that.

stress cycles evolved for short, resolvable danger. to get away from the lion, run, lose lion (hopefully), then relax. so basically, threat appears → body mobilizes → threat ends → body discharges → nervous system returns to baseline. your body finishes the cycle when it gets enough evidence that the danger has passed, escape or protection worked and the environment is predictable and safe again…

but because the threat is ongoing, and not a clear start/stop event or situation, because we are living in continuous political threat, unstable systems, experiencing visible harm with no resolution along with nonstop exposure through screens, our nervous systems keep asking: “is it over yet?” and it’s not. so it stays mobilized. this is not just your garden variety sort of anxiety, it is accurate threat detection. stress cycles close with safety, escape, rest after resolution and visible wins. right now we have no clean stops, no stable ground and no “and then it ended.” without endings, the nervous system can’t downshift.

you can even know you’re safe in the moment and still feel wrecked. that’s because survival systems don’t respond to insight or “knowing better,” they respond to sensory, embodied evidence. this is why awareness brings little to no relief, understanding doesn’t create regulation and insight can’t bring completion of the stress cycle. your body is still waiting for proof where there is no proof.

we’re also in a sort of constant double bind, your body says: “something is wrong,” but people you know or comments sections tell you that you’re overreacting. that contradiction traps energy in the system. and unfinished stress turns into chronic exhaustion, numbness, illness, rage spikes, dissociation and despair.

humans usually can regulate together, but right now our communities are fragmented, grief is going unrecognized and unnamed, and overwhelm is normalized. without a sense of collective containment, individuals carry too much. the nervous system stays on guard because the humans don’t always feel safe. when stress cycles don’t close, the body stays in survival mode. that reduces clarity, empathy, stamina, connection and long-term resistance capacity. burned-out nervous systems isolate, collapse, or turn on each other. regulated nervous systems can grieve, think, organize, and stay connected. closing the stress cycle is nervous-system maintenance in a remarkably unsafe era.

it’s absolutely neccesary we are actively doing this, because it will not happen on its own. we need to create brief signals of completion over and over and over and over.

here are some ways to close the stress cycle. (this needs to ideally happen every time you finish scrolling, watch the news, see something horrible happening in the community or in your neighborhood, talk to your maga family, or spiritedly engage with someone in a comments section (who me?))

my personal go-to top 3:
*plank. i love this one because i am also training myself to breathe through intense tension. i hold it as long as i can and focus on keeping my breath steady.
*lion’s breath- it’s effective and FUN. https://youtu.be/xdUyHPa66A4?si=Q01vNGrNA6kp5jLI
*”knocking on heaven’s door,” (example starts at around 2:35:) https://youtu.be/qiKJRoX_2uo?si=Fv2eSc48ktQuXOi0

more quickies that go a long way:
*play tetris
*anger with a container: tear cardboard, slam pillows, growl, curse, say every swear you know
*leg discharge: wall sit, shake legs, march hard in place
*physiological sigh: two short inhales, long exhale (1–2 times)
*one song, full body: you know, dance like no one is watching
*cold exposure: splash face, cold wrists, step outside briefly
*name the threat out loud: “this is my nervous system responding to danger.”
*push against something solid: wall, doorframe
*orient to now: name what you see, hear, feel touching you
*clear endings: blow out a candle, wash hands, say “that’s done,” change the lighting in the room.
*micro-connection: eye contact, a text that says “today was a lot,” pet your dog. pet your cat.

and here are some broken down for specific energies:

fight (anger, irritation, urge to argue)
jaw discharge: clench → release → stretch jaw wide → sigh (jaw holds unexpressed fight.)
towel twist: twist a towel as hard as possible, then drop it
silent scream: mouth open, full body tension, no sound - or with sound, choose your own adventure.
write the sentence you’re not allowed to say: then destroy it
push-pull: pull on a heavy door, push a wall, alternate for 30 sec
(fight energy needs opposition and release, not reasoning.)

flight (restlessness, panic, doom-scrolling)
sprint the stairs once
shake hands like you touched electricity
rapid foot tapping for 20–40 seconds
grab something heavy and carry it across the room
pack and unpack a bag quickly, then stop
(flight energy completes when the body believes it ran.)

freeze/collapse (numb, foggy, “can’t move”)
temperature contrast: warm hands → cold water → warm again
self-hug + squeeze, then release slowly
name 5 blue things you can see (color-specific orientation)
press feet firmly into the floor and say “here.”
hum low and steady for 30–60 seconds
(freeze needs sensation and gentle activation, not motivation.)

fawn/over functioning (people-pleasing, over-explaining)
say “no” out loud to an empty room
drop your shoulders and let your arms hang heavy
stand with hands on hips for 20 seconds
write a text you won’t send that sets a boundary - or write one and send it, again, choose your own adventure.
exhale longer than you inhale (1:2 ratio)
(fawn ends when the body reclaims personal boundary and weight.)

mental overload/rumination
name the loop: “this is a threat loop, not a problem to solve.”
visual dump: scribble until the page is full, stop mid-thought
cold object in hand (stone, can, spoon)
look far away (out a window) for 30 seconds
say today’s date and where you are
(cognition exits survival when the present is proof.)

social/collective completers
sit near someone without talking
eye contact + nod
shared laughter at something dark or absurd
speak the fear out loud to someone who gets it and have it believed
(safety is relational evidence, not internal reassurance.)

*none of these will make the world safe, but they can help make our bodies feel less trapped inside the danger and help us maintain the strength/energy to keep fighting to make the world safe.

01/25/2026

if “coping skills” sound like a joke to you right now and you are struggling, read on. this is beyond coping with stress. you are adapting to ongoing threat while preserving your humanity. that is not weakness, it is wise.

people are actively being targeted by laws, rhetoric, lies and systems. safety is not guaranteed. stress and fear are not distortions, they are accurate responses to what’s happening. your nervous system is responding exactly as it should be.

when danger like this is ongoing, telling someone (or ourselves) to calm down, think positively, or breathe through feels dismissive at best and cruel at worst. those approaches are built for temporary stress, not sustained threat.

to be very clear, this is not about making you feel better so you can tolerate harm. it’s about helping your nervous system stay intact, oriented, and human while living inside very real uncertainty and insecurity.

we are not “made” for what we are experiencing right now. our nervous systems are “wired” for survival, not to help us feel better. it’s important that we are closing out the stress response cycles after scrolling, consuming news, and witnessing cruelty and injustice. even if it is for brief moments, it matters.

*speak the fear in plain language, privately or with others. silence increases cortisol. naming helps restore orientation and self-trust. this is how we survive oppression without internal collapse. this helps regulation through truth, not calming. your nervous system also knows when it’s being lied to.

“this isn’t just anxiety. this is my nervous system responding to danger.” “i am being targeted by policy, rhetoric, lies or systems.”
write or say: “the danger I’m responding to is ______. my response makes sense because ______.”

*sometimes distress isn’t a nervous system problem, it’s moral injury. feeling upset can be a sign you’re still aligned with your morals and values.
anchoring questions:
-what do i refuse to normalize?
-what line still matters to me?
-what would it cost me to go numb, and why haven’t i?

*anger increases energy and boundary clarity. suppressed anger turns into panic or collapse. anger needs rails, not suppression. anger can often be the fuel we need to engage in change making. channel anger into bounded actions with a beginning and an end.
-20 minutes of writing the angriest thing you cannot post
-ripping cardboard, breaking sticks, tearing old mail
- loud music + movement with a clear stop time

*find and choose small domains of absolute control.oppression removes agency. Restoring even symbolic control reduces learned helplessness.
-clothing you wear only when you need to feel armored
-one daily ritual done the exact same way
-a “no-consumption hour” with no news or social input

*shift from calming to orienting and bracing. for people under threat, calming can feel like submission. Bracing restores dignity and readiness.
-press your feet into the floor and push back
-one hand on sternum, one on back (front/back orientation)
-lean against a wall and feel its resistance

*be witnessed without being “fixed.” isolation is a tool of harm, witness disrupts it. no reassurance allowed, only recognition.
-“can i tell you what today felt like without solutions?”
-group texts that say “still here” instead of “how are you?”

*anchor to specific future selves and the future, not abstract hope. hope can feel fake. responsibility to your future self doesn’t. these are not optimism. they’re small actions that assume a future, even if you don’t believe it emotionally. our nervous systems learn safety backward, through action, not belief or feeling.
- “three months from now, i want my body to still trust me.”
-“i want future-me to know i didn’t abandon myself.”
-plan things for months away, make appointments, etc.
-renew something.
-plant something slow growing.

*mourn deliberately. unprocessed grief becomes hypervigilance. ritual metabolizes it.
-write a eulogy for what you believed america was
-light a candle weekly for what’s being lost
-create art that holds rage and sorrow together

*consciously refuse certain expectations. refusal restores autonomy when compliance is demanded.
-refuse politeness when unsafe
-refuse to explain your fear to skeptics
-refuse productivity as a measure of worth

*track what actually dysregulates you. this shifts the question from “what’s wrong with me?” to “what is my body responding to?”
-policies, headlines, uniforms, phrases, sirens, language
-then design your life to reduce those, not your feelings.

*record moments that prove you are not just surviving. authoritarian stress rattles identity. this honors complexity.
-a laugh that surprised you
-a small act of defiance
-a moment of connection

*practical readiness as grounding. preparation reduces panic, obsession increases it.
-know your rights
-keep documents organized
-make contingency plans once, then stop revisiting unless necessary.
-connect with community
-attend online or in person trainings to be in community with others that are feeling the same way and active.

*let your life get smaller without shame. burnout serves oppressive systems. conservation is resistance.
-less news, fewer opinions, narrower focus
-survival seasons are not personal failures

we’re in this together.

12/24/2025

12/24/2025

and it’s also ok if connecting with gratitude is hard. or you can’t at all sometimes. be kind to you. this season can bring so many different feels with it, that can exist simultaneously. ❤️

11/27/2025

sending comfort. be kind to you today (and everyday), if this is you.