Clarity Psychological Services, LLC

11/02/2025

10/30/2025

Teaching and helping my clients talk to themselves with tender and fierce compassion is a major component in our work together. Here’s why this matters so much. If you don’t have self-compassion, you aren’t able to look at your mistakes and failures and sin, because you’ll be too wrapped up in your shame. And when shame takes over, you’ll either deny your problem, lie about it, get defensive, or make it your identity and sink into self-pity.

But here’s the truth. To truly own your problems, to learn and grow and take accountability, you have to have self-compassion. You need to be able to look at yourself with both tenderness and honesty at the same time.

Self-compassion also becomes absolutely essential when you’re dealing with an external stressor or problem. It helps you recognize that you’re not alone in your suffering. It reminds you that you can overcome the situation. It gives you the strength to keep moving forward instead of collapsing under the weight of whatever you’re facing.

This is the kind of compassion Christ showed us, and it’s the kind of compassion He calls us to show ourselves so we can actually change and grow into who He’s created us to be.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ✔️

10/25/2025

10/24/2025

10/24/2025

What Research Shows About Elite Athletes

The gap between elite athletes and everyone else isn’t just physical — it’s mental. Decades of sport psychology research show consistent patterns among top performers:

• They maintain stronger belief in their ability to succeed.
• Their self-talk is motivational, focused, and authentic.
• They recover from mistakes faster and stay composed under stress.
• They view pressure as a challenge to rise to — not a threat to avoid.
• They reflect on progress instead of dwelling on failure.

Elite athletes train their minds with the same intensity as their bodies.

How to apply this:
– Build a repeatable mental cue for pressure moments (“Calm. Confident. Ready.”)
– Replace self-criticism with self-instruction.
– Focus on controllables — effort, attitude, focus.
– Reflect, adjust, and move forward.

10/24/2025

10/17/2025

Being authentic isn’t always freedom. Sometimes it’s a trap that keeps us focused on being our unfiltered self instead of our best self.

I’ve watched people justify destructive patterns because “this is just who I am.” I’ve seen marriages struggle when someone uses honesty as permission to stay reactive instead of growing intentional.

Real authenticity isn’t refusing to change. It’s being honest about where you are while moving toward who you’re meant to become. There’s a difference between pretending you’re not struggling and choosing not to be defined by your struggles.

Your best self isn’t fake. It’s you aligned with your values, operating from wisdom instead of impulse. That’s freedom.

10/15/2025

10/10/2025

10/10/2025

We often think we need a strict routine to stay consistent — but research suggests flexibility can actually improve adherence and motivation.

Routine: “I work out Monday, Wednesday, Friday.”
Rhythm: “I work out three days a week.”

Studies in behavioral psychology and habit formation show that rigid schedules can increase stress and resistance, especially for those who struggle with perfectionism or inconsistent motivation. By adopting a rhythm instead, you focus on the pattern of behavior rather than the exact timing. This taps into intrinsic motivation, reduces friction, and increases the likelihood of long-term adherence.

Your brain rewards consistency and effort itself, not the calendar. Start where you can, stay flexible, and let rhythm replace rigidity.