02/06/2026
Michael Farley
It is with heavy and grateful hearts we celebrate the life of Michael Farley: a devoted husband, proud father, and loving grandfather. He passed away at home on February 5th, 2026, surrounded by people and love. He is survived by his wife, Mary, daughters Kathleen and Patricia, her partner Joseph Maldonado, three grandchildren Darius, Joaquin and Malcolm Maldonado, his sister, Margaret Van Etten; and his cat, Nellie. He is predeceased by his brother John Van Etten.
He grew up in the 1950s in the last wooden tenements in Astoria, and loved New York. He was the oldest son of a single mother, and was raised by his grandparents. He loved music, books, and sports from an early age - loves that would carry through his whole life. As a child, he would go to the public library and read for hours, watch every Dodgers game (before they left Brooklyn), and sweep the floors of the tenement to get change to pay for the movies. When his mother remarried, he became a devoted and protective older brother to John and Margaret. He did well in school, loved his English classes, was cast in musicals, and played varsity sports throughout the year.
When the draft for the Vietnam War was announced, his draft number was a guarantee of service. At 19, he decided to control his own fate by enrolling himself in the Marines. His experiences there solidified his anti-war views. He routed his letters home through California to keep his family from worrying that he had an active war assignment. He flirted with insubordination and was threatened with a second tour. He played jokes to keep morale up as he watched too many friends die. He came home to a public that had turned against the war and took it out on the soldiers that served. He never forgot the horrors of a war that shouldn't have happened, and carried pain and trauma from his participation in it.
Upon returning home, he became a city cab driver and an occasional musician. He soon met Mary, turned down a job transfer to Texas - because he knew she was the one. He worked for the New York Power Authority for 30+ years - serving in various roles in IT, SAP, and project management. He wore Hawaiian shirts when he was told he was dressing "too casually" for the office and a "Free Tibet" bumper sticker remained in his office for years - a reminder to authority he was always his own man.
He could fill a room with leadership or humor. Upon hearing his qualities and skills, our hospice nurse called him a Renaissance man. There was little he couldn't do.
As the husband of a strong woman, whose independence and humor first captured his attention, and the father to two daughters, he was a champion of equal rights for women. He coached his daughters' soccer teams and co-led a Girl Scouts troop. He taught them how to throw a punch for self-defense and how to swing a bat. He took them fishing. He made every concert and every game. He supported his wife in her career changes, and was extremely proud of Kathleen when she earned her PhD. He was a volunteer firefighter, supported his local public library during a major renovation by fundraising for and collaborating with the board, volunteered for political campaigns, and attended demonstrations - as recently as a few months ago.
He and Mary just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this past summer. He would often say that meeting her was the best thing that ever happened to him. He showed his love through acts of service: making her coffee every morning, filling up her gas tank, making her dinner, buying the snacks she loved in giant quantities. He enjoyed getting out of the house every day to run these errands that connected him with his community.
He was fortunate to enjoy over 12 years of retirement. He and Mary were able to travel, spend time with their children and grandchildren, and work in the garden. There is no doubt that he was in the top 1% of readers at his local library. He loved opera, jazz, rock, and rap. As the grandkids grew older they enjoyed talking with him about music, books, and basketball. They all rooted for the Knicks, and he loved watching his grandchildren play. Both he and the kids enjoyed the basketball hoop outside their kitchen window.
Though his final years included a multitude of health challenges, he found joy in simple things. He was incredibly generous and most proud of building a strong, connected family. He did whatever he could for his loved ones, without asking for anything in return. This continued in his final days: he told us that he was ready, that he loved all of us, and reminded us that we had each other.
Also, could we add: In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to your local library, 350.org, or The People's Institute for Survival and Beyond.
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