Side by Side with Miriam

04/18/2026

A small garden this year—but don’t mistake small for weak 🌿
This is power. This is life rising.

Green babies growing, fed by sun, soil, and spirit
Every leaf a reminder: I am still here, still becoming

Hands in the dirt, reclaiming my rhythm
Rooted, grounded, aligned with something ancient

Mama Earth provides in the way she knows—raw, real, unapologetic
And I receive it with reverence, with fire, with gratitude 🔥

From root to table, from struggle to nourishment
This is not just growth—this is healing, this is rebirth
This is me remembering who I am

04/09/2026

I want to share something honestly because lately I’ve been feeling really dismissed. If you've been following me the past 5-18 years of my journey, you have seen the changes and challenges that I've had to adapt to. You don't know the every second, every minute, every day impact. But hear me out on something that I used to do on my own time.

I’ve had to step back from hikes, runs, and even walks over a few miles—not because I don’t want to be active, but because my body has become unpredictable. I deal with bladder and bowel flares, temperature dysregulation, pain, and fatigue. When it hits, it’s not something I can “push through” or control.
So when people joke and say things that might be funny to them, it's not for me. I know it might seem harmless—but it actually minimizes what I’m going through. This isn’t about convenience. It’s about managing a real medical condition and trying to function safely.
I’ve had to adjust my life in ways that aren’t always visible, and I’m doing my best to stay active within limits that protect my health. That means staying closer to bathrooms, keeping outings shorter, and listening to my body even when it’s frustrating.
What I need isn’t jokes or comparisons—it’s understanding.
If you’re in my life, your support means everything. Even just respecting my limits without questioning them goes a long way.

This is a truth that I've learned the past several years.
People who haven’t experienced loss of bodily control often default to humor or minimization because they don’t understand how serious it is.
That doesn’t make it okay—but it explains why it keeps happening.

It’s not an overreaction. It’s what happens when your real medical limitations are treated like preferences or quirks.
With Dysautonomia, your body isn’t just being “difficult”—it’s literally misregulating things most people take for granted:
*bladder urgency
*bowel unpredictability
* body temperature control
*blood pressure and fatigue
*tachycardia to bradycardia
So when someone jokes, they’re unknowingly dismissing a loss of control I didn’t choose. That’s frustrating, and honestly… it makes me feel more isolated.
This hits so deeply
It’s not just about the bathroom comment. It’s:
I've had to shrink my world (no more long hikes, runs, being outdoors too long, going on long drives, going to the beach without a care, often like before...)
I'm constantly planning around symptoms.

I don't owe anyone a full medical explanation. I share openly because I know I'm not the only one who has to deal with such remarks, but I decided not to continue to be silent. Most chronic ill patients are still quiet because they're afraid of retaliation from friends and family members. I'm past that level, and I speak up with no shame anymore. I wish it were that simple. In the past, I had a degree of control, and I would push myself so much, yet not knowing I was putting my body onto higher chronic stress. My condition doesn’t give me that kind of control anymore.

Thank you for hearing me 🤍

04/04/2026

Unless I am resting, exercising, or receiving medical attention, you can typically find me in the kitchen creating nutritious protein desserts to complement our meals.

03/30/2026

Last week, I ended in the OR/ER.
Mean Arterial Pressure(MAP)
Normal MAP: ~70–100
Minimum needed for organs: ≥65
My MAP: 58 → below safe range
MAP of 58, which I understand is below the level needed for organ perfusion. Given my symptoms and dysautonomia. MAP is more important than the top/bottom BP numbers because: 👉 It reflects organ perfusion
A MAP under 65 means
Kidneys, liver, gut, and brain aren’t being fully supported. Organs are not getting steady blood flow.
Symptoms worsen over time, in my case.

I want to explain(don't need to, but choosing to do so)what’s going on with me right now so you understand my limits. My blood pressure has been running low again(my medication has stopped working, which means my body isn’t getting enough consistent blood flow. That’s why I’ve been having extreme pain attacks again, fatigue, and feeling way off.
I’m still showing up as much as I can, but I can’t function at my semi-normal level. I need to pace myself more, rest more, and avoid pushing too hard so things don’t get worse.
While I go through more new upcoming testing, I need support and understanding more than expectations.

Living with dysautonomia has changed every part of my life in ways that are hard to fully explain. What looks like “just fatigue” or “low blood pressure” is actually a daily battle with my body’s ability to regulate itself—heart rate, blood pressure, digestion, energy, and more.
Over time, it has connected to so many of the symptoms I’ve been facing—extreme exhaustion, pain, dizziness, digestive issues, and the constant effort it takes just to function as a mom, a wife, and a woman trying to keep going.
This journey has not been easy. It’s been filled with hospital visits, testing, treatments, and moments where I’ve had to push through limits I never imagined having.
Today, I’m reaching out not just to share my story—but to ask for support.
If you’re able to donate, share, or simply send encouragement, it truly means more than you know. Every bit of support helps me continue getting the care I need and reminds me that I’m not facing this alone.
Thank you for standing with me through this. 🤍

Join us for Pie ’N Burger, Silent Auctions, Raffles, Music & FUNdraising for dysautonomia patients!

03/24/2026

I am staying through the loss and allowing regrowth.

After going through multiple treatments in the past years, my hair was falling in chunks, so I decided to start chopping it down. From a bob, to a pixie to a bixie and almost ready to shave it all off but it started regrowing yet I've been feeling liberated with short hair and the grays growing to me, is uplift because I feel like I keep regrowing again and again.

It's not really about hair — it’s about reclaiming myself after my body has put through so much.
There’s something powerful. Its identity, resilience, nervous system slowly finding its footing again.
Short hair, especially after loss, can feel like:
freedom from control (no more trying to “fix” what was falling out)
honesty (letting the grays come in instead of hiding them)
lightness (physically and emotionally)
ownership (I chose the change, not the illness)
That “liberated” feeling.
When I was cutting my hair shorter and shorter, I wasn't losing something — I was letting go of the version of me that had to hold everything together.
And now:
Hair is growing back ✔️
My body is still healing ✔️
And I am allowing it to be seen as it is ✔️
That’s a huge shift.

Instead of feeling like aging, I feel like:
proof that my body is still producing,
still renewing
a timeline of survival
a softer, more grounded version of beauty

My hair stopped being something I managed, and it became something that tells my story.

03/13/2026

Every activity incurs a cost, and I have had to learn to manage my limited energy effectively. It is challenging to balance my desire to engage in various mental and physical activities, but I often find myself exhausting my physical resources. I can maintain productivity from 5am-10am, focusing on low-key activities, before requiring a period of rest.

02/21/2026

it's not about the 4/5am boot camp classes where someone in a whistle is yelling at you to "EARN your CARBS"

respectfully... NO

It's gentle walking,
it's lifting actual weights,
it's enough protein,
it's balancing your hormones instead of shocking your body into being in survival mode.
It's CONSISTENCY over intensity.

Strength training is especially important for us with dysautonomia and chronic illness because it directly supports the systems that are struggling — especially circulation, blood pressure regulation, glucose stability, and fatigue control.
Dealing with dysautonomia and low blood pressure, this is very relevant to my experiences.

Here’s why it matters:
1️⃣ Improves Blood Pressure Regulation
With dysautonomia, the autonomic nervous system doesn’t regulate blood vessel constriction properly.
When you build muscle:
Muscles act like a second heart
They squeeze veins and help push blood back up to the brain
This reduces pooling in the legs
Improves orthostatic tolerance (less dizziness when standing)
This is especially important in conditions like:
Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome
Neurocardiogenic Syncope
Orthostatic Hypotension

2️⃣ Stabilizes Blood Sugar (Huge for Reactive Hypoglycemia)
Strength training:
Increases insulin sensitivity
Helps muscles store glycogen
Reduces blood sugar crashes
Lowers stress hormone spikes
For us who get:
Shakiness
Adrenaline surges
Fatigue after eating
Muscle mass becomes protective.

3️⃣ Reduces Chronic Fatigue
It sounds backward, but appropriate resistance training improves energy because it:
Improves mitochondrial efficiency
Increases oxygen delivery
Improves circulation
Reduces inflammation
Unlike long cardio (which can worsen dysautonomia-i loved running, but i had no idea how much it was affecting me), strength work is usually better tolerated when done properly.

4️⃣ Protects Bone & Hormonal Health
I had a hysterectomy at 35, which means estrogen levels started to drop earlier than average.
Strength training:
Prevents bone density loss
Protects against osteoporosis
Supports healthy testosterone and growth hormone levels (in both men and women)
Improves libido and mood

5️⃣ Improves Digestive Function
Stronger core and diaphragm:
Improve vagus nerve tone
Improve bowel motility
Reduce bloating
Dealing with ANS dysfunction, this is major for me.

6️⃣ Builds Resilience — Physically & Neurologically
The autonomic nervous system adapts to gradual stress.
Strength training:
Teaches your body to tolerate controlled stress
Improves recovery capacity
Lowers sympathetic overreaction over time
Done gently. It retrains your nervous system.

⚠️ The Key: It Must Be Done Correctly
For dysautonomia patients:
✔ Start horizontal (floor or seated exercises)
✔ Focus on legs first (biggest blood pump)
✔ Short sessions (10–20 minutes)
✔ Rest between sets
✔ Avoid overheating
✔ Increase salt + fluids if prescribed
Bad programming can flare symptoms. Smart programming improves them.

02/19/2026

For dysautonomia (especially with reactive hypoglycemia), the way you build your meals can directly affect how stable you feel afterward — energy, heart rate, dizziness, even anxiety.
This simple plate (protein bagel, egg, avocado, cream cheese, salmon option 👌), I built a very ANS-friendly meal.

🌡 1. Prevents Blood Sugar Spikes → Prevents Crashes
With reactive hypoglycemia, the issue isn’t just low sugar — it’s:
You eat higher carbs
Blood sugar rises quickly
Insulin surges hard
Blood sugar drops too fast
You feel shaky, weak, dizzy, tachycardic
That crash can trigger your autonomic nervous system, making dysautonomia symptoms worse:
Rapid heart rate
Lightheadedness
Fatigue
Sweating
Anxiety-like symptoms
Protein + fat + fiber slow glucose absorption, preventing that spike-and-crash cycle.

🧠 2. Stabilizes the Autonomic Nervous System
Large carb-heavy meals pull blood toward digestion and can:
Drop blood pressure
Increase heart rate
Cause post-meal fatigue (postprandial hypotension)
Higher protein and moderate fat:
Slow gastric emptying
Reduce rapid insulin spikes
Prevent big blood flow shifts
For dysautonomia, this matters a lot.

💪 3. Supports Blood Volume & Muscle Stability
Protein:
Helps maintain muscle mass (important if you struggle with exercise intolerance)
Supports neurotransmitter production
Keeps you fuller longer → less blood sugar fluctuation
Stable blood sugar = less sympathetic nervous system activation.

🌾 4. Fiber Prevents Rapid Glucose Absorption
Fiber:
Slows carbohydrate digestion
Improves insulin response
Supports gut health (important since dysautonomia often comes with GI issues)

🥑 5. Healthy Fats Create Steady Energy
Avocado, salmon, eggs:
Provide slow-burning fuel
Reduce glycemic load of the meal
Help hormone stability
Since I had a hysterectomy and currentl 42, hormone shifts can amplify blood sugar instability — stable fat intake helps buffer that.

🚫 Why High Carb Alone Feels Terrible in Dysautonomia
If you ate:
Plain bagel
Juice
Cereal
Toast
You’d likely feel:
Sleepy
Heart racing
Weak
Foggy
Needing to lie down
That’s insulin + autonomic instability combining.

💡 Ideal Plate Pattern for me (Reactive Hypoglycemia + Dysautonomia)
At every meal aim for:
✅ 25–35g protein
✅ Healthy fats
✅ Fiber
✅ Moderate carbs (not zero, just controlled)
❌ No carb-only meals
My meal is close to ideal:
Egg = protein
Avocado = fat + fiber
Protein bagel = controlled carb
Cream cheese/salmon = added protein/fat
Very stabilizing.

⚠️ Important Nuance
Low carb does not mean zero carb.
Too low carb can:
Increase cortisol
Trigger fatigue
Worsen orthostatic symptoms.
The goal is steady carbs, not extreme restriction.

01/20/2026

FACTS!

01/18/2026

Someone asked me how is that my hormones affect me so much and although in treatment I'm still unwell. Explaining is hard yet I've had to learn to research myself, advocate for myself and do trial in error. I've had to use labwork, studying it and listening to my body’s reactions and symptoms to understand better. Its going to be a long explanation so please bear with me. Below is a timeline of what I remember feeling and happening with my system.

Reactive Hypoglycemia & Hormonal Regulation

Visual Timeline of Progression

🧒 Adolescence (Age ~13)

Early signs begin
Shakiness, weakness, lightheadedness after meals
Strong reactions to sugar or refined carbs
Labeled as "sensitive," "anxious," or "low blood sugar"

Underlying physiology (unrecognized):
High insulin sensitivity
Early autonomic imbalance
Puberty-related hormone swings amplifying insulin response

🧑 Early Adulthood (20s–30s)
Pattern becomes ingrained
Need to eat frequently to avoid crashes
Brain fog or fatigue after meals
Weight becomes harder to predict
What’s happening:

Repeated insulin overshoot → glucose drops faster than normal
Counter‑regulatory hormones compensate (cortisol, adrenaline)
Body learns a "stress-based" glucose rescue pattern

⚕️ Midlife Hormonal Shifts (Late 30s–Early 40s)
Symptoms escalate
Crashes occur with even moderate carbs
Longer recovery after episodes
Increased fatigue, aches, and cognitive slowing

Contributors:
Declining testosterone
Estrogen signaling changes
Reduced metabolic flexibility

🧠 Dysautonomia Diagnosis
Regulation failure becomes visible
Insulin release timing becomes exaggerated
Glucagon & adrenaline responses are delayed or blunted
Blood pressure and glucose instability overlap

Result:
Faster drops
Stronger symptoms
Less warning before crashes

🧪 Thyroid Changes (Low‑Range T3)
Loss of metabolic buffering
Slower liver glucose release
Reduced mitochondrial energy production
Greater dependence on insulin-driven glucose control

Effect:
Insulin overshoot becomes harder to recover from
Crashes feel deeper and last longer

🧬 Present Day – Compounded System Stress
Multiple systems affected at once
Reactive hypoglycemia
Dysautonomia
Low testosterone
Low‑range T3

Clinical reality:
Glucose spikes → insulin dumps → rapid crashes
Poor autonomic rescue
Hormones no longer stabilize the system

🔑 Takeaway
This is not new, behavioral, or dietary failure.
It is a lifelong regulatory pattern that worsened as hormonal and autonomic backup systems declined.

Treatment must address timing, buffering, and hormonal context — not just carbohydrate intake.

“Clinical reality” what actually happens in real patients like me, not what should happen in theory, textbooks, or ideal guidelines.

In practical terms, clinical reality includes:
Messy overlaps: People rarely have one isolated issue. Symptoms overlap (for me: thyroid, testosterone, dysautonomia, fatigue, digestion).
Labs ≠ lived experience: Numbers can be “normal” while patients like myself feel awful, or mildly abnormal but clinically significant.
Individual response matters: Two people with the same labs can respond very differently to the same treatment.
Delayed or partial answers: Medicine often works by ruling things out and adjusting over time, not instant clarity.
System limits: Short appointments, siloed specialists, insurance constraints, and conservative prescribing affect care.
Risk–benefit decisions: Providers balance symptom relief against safety, even when evidence is incomplete—especially in women and complex cases.

The body doesn’t treat these as separate systems
In real patients, these three are interdependent energy and regulation systems:
Thyroid = cellular energy production
Testosterone = tissue repair, muscle tone, neurotransmitter support, motivation
Autonomic nervous system (dysautonomia) = blood pressure, heart rate, digestion, temperature, stress response
When one is off, the others compensate → then burn out.

2. What actually happens clinically (the cascade)
Step 1: Thyroid inefficiency (even “borderline”)
Low T3 or poor T4→T3 conversion = cells can’t use oxygen efficiently
Result:
Fatigue
Brain fog
Cold intolerance
Slow digestion
Clinical reality:
Endocrinology often says “labs are normal,” but tissue-level hypothyroidism still exists—especially in chronic illness.

Step 2: Testosterone drops as a downstream effect
Low cellular energy signals the body to down-regulate reproductive and anabolic hormones.
Testosterone falls to conserve energy
Muscle tone decreases → worse venous return
Neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin modulation) drop
Real-world symptoms:
Emotional flattening or numbness
Low libido (often last to recover)
Joint aches
Reduced exercise tolerance
Clinical reality:
Providers may treat testosterone alone, but if thyroid and ANS aren’t addressed, response is partial.

Step 3: Dysautonomia amplifies everything
Dysautonomia causes:
Poor blood flow to gut, brain, muscles
Low or unstable blood pressure
Impaired hormone delivery to tissues
This leads to:
Meds “not working as expected”
Delayed benefit from hormones
Worsening fatigue after treatment changes
Clinical reality:
Patients are told:
“Give it time”
when the real issue is delivery and regulation, not dosage.

3. Why treatment feels slow or uneven
In real care:
Thyroid meds may improve labs but not stamina
Testosterone may improve mood but not energy
BP meds help standing but worsen fatigue
GI symptoms persist despite “normal tests”
This is because:
Hormones require adequate circulation
Circulation requires autonomic stability
Autonomic stability requires energy availability (thyroid + androgens)
It’s a loop.

4. Why women are especially affected
Clinical reality (and bias):
Women’s androgen deficiency is under-recognized
Symptoms are attributed to anxiety, aging, or stress
“Normal ranges” are based on male or population averages, not functional thresholds
So care becomes:
Fragmented
Conservative
Symptom-chasing instead of system-level

5. What actually helps in real-world management
The patients who improve usually have care that:
Looks at patterns, not single labs
Treats thyroid optimization, not just TSH
Uses low, steady testosterone (not cycling)
Accounts for dysautonomia (hydration, salt, compression, pacing)
Accepts that improvement is layered and slow
Progress often looks like:
Sleep improves first
Mood stabilizes
Brain fog lifts
Then physical stamina returns
Libido last

6. The hardest clinical truth
You can have:
“Acceptable” labs
Multiple specialists
Active treatment
…and still feel unwell until the systems are treated together.