Selah Trauma Counseling Center

02/18/2026

You might be feeling down because things aren’t going the way you want to. You might be looking back on changes that you made “too late” and beating yourself up for it. You might be wondering why it feels so hard to change, even when you know you need to.

Here’s the truth: change is hard, it takes time, and it requires courage.

It’s hard to accept that something isn’t working-especially when it’s something that you really, really wanted to work.

It takes time to come to terms with the difference between your hoped-for outcome and reality. Often, the only way to do this is to go through the experience again and again, until you finally truly see: no, this is not working or you.

And once you have realized that you need to make a change, it requires courage to actually do it and patience to actually see the impact in your life.

Be gentle with yourself as you transform.

02/14/2026

A cute reminder that the world needs more love!

02/13/2026

Your spouse isn’t asking you to change who you are. They’re asking you to change behaviors that are hurting the relationship.

There’s a difference.

One attacks identity. The other protects connection.

When we hear feedback as “You’re not enough,” our nervous system braces. We defend. We shut down. We counterattack.

Often what our partner may be saying is:
“When that happens, I feel alone.”
“When that tone shows up, I feel small.”
“When you withdraw, I lose you.”

Healthy relationships don’t require you to become someone else. They require repair, flexibility, and accountability.

Invitation: Pause, gentle exhale. Is this about my worth or about an impact I can shift?

Growth in love isn’t betrayal of self. It’s protection of connection.

02/12/2026

Therapists in 2026 😍😆

02/11/2026

Steffen is depressed.

In the background, he’s smiling. In that moment, he could truly be enjoying himself while streaming depression in the background.
In the foreground, you see a more accurate depiction of what his nervous system feels: disconnection, isolation, flat.

From a polyvagal lens, depression isn’t laziness or lack of motivation. It’s often a nervous system that has moved into dorsal shutdown and collapse or hypoarousal. Conserving energy after too much stress, too much disappointment, too much holding it together.

Sometimes the smile is survival.
Sometimes functioning is masking.
Sometimes “I’m fine” is a nervous system doing its best to protect.

Depression can be the body’s way of saying:
This has been too much for too long.

Invitation: Inhale. Pause. Gently extend that exhale as you check in with your body. If you notice heaviness or numbness today, add one cue of connection through your senses. Step outside for 2 minutes and let your eyes slowly scan the horizon. No fixing. Just orienting and noticing. Or reach out and make plans with a friend. If that’s too much, maybe stop in at a library or book store. Less stimulating and you can gently co-regulate.

Healing begins with safety and connection inside, not shame.

02/06/2026

Happy National Counseling Week to the amazing team of trauma therapists at Selah, who can identify a nervous system state in 3 seconds flat but forget where they put their keys.

Kelsey, Nef, Lora, Lianna, Jessica, and Jodi:
To my co-counselors and the best teammates who hold stories with care, regulate nervous systems, remember 47 acronyms, and somehow still show up with compassion after long, heavy days. They do brave work. Quiet work. Heart work. And they do it while navigating insurance, paperwork, schedules, lamps not overhead lights, and office shenanigans.

They hold decades of generational trauma, stay calm amongst fears and highly emotional sessions, and then lose it when the printer jams (or maybe it’s just me and Alexa who are still fighting 🤣). On top of graduate degrees and thousands of hours of chair time, we’ve managed to learn and become fluent in Polyvagal, IFS, EMDR, Brainspotting, attachment science and the ancient art of saying “mmhmm” while mentally tracking five parts, two attachment wounds, and the clock.

Cheers to the best team who co-regulates for a living, validates the perfectly normal emotions to abnormal situations, and still have to pause and recall, “Did I document that… or did I just think about documenting it?”

Counseling is a unique blend of art and science. There’s so much more than listening. We are the department of hope when it’s all lost. We are the carers for the carers and we hold the line, recognizing humanity, seeing all parts, good and ugly, so we can remind people that there are things in this world that are simply too much to carry or maybe isn’t theirs in the first place. This work is sacred. And I’m so proud to work side by side with all of you!

02/06/2026

If we ignore identity, we ignore trauma. Culture isn’t simply race or ethnicity. It’s heritage and job. It’s region, language, class, faith, even family roles and abilities.

Culture shapes how safety is learned, how pain is carried, and how help is received. Trauma doesn’t happen in a vacuum, it happens in bodies that belong to systems, histories, and communities. Treating the effects of trauma requires competency in the culture(s) being treated.

Trauma doesn’t happen in a vacuum, it happens inside systems, identities, and histories. When clinicians overlook culture, privilege, race, gender, or marginalization, they unintentionally recreate harm. We cannot provide trauma-informed care without acknowledging the lived experiences that shape someone’s nervous system. Representation matters. Language matters. Context matters.

Therapy should make space for the whole person, not just the parts that feel easy to talk about.

02/06/2026

02/03/2026

Grandparents, aunties, & uncles we know you’re tired from holding it all together for the kids. Permanent kinship placement is complex. We can support you!

•Post adoption parenting doesn’t have as many supports and everything was supposed to be fine once it was official anyway?!

•Maybe it’s been years, maybe it’s still fresh?!

•Or maybe it’s lonely when trying to parent when love meets trauma?

Come create community, learn, and process so you can have space to catch the glimmers as they happen!

Feb 16th (Mondays) at 1230 we’re holding a free group for post adopt/permanency/kinship carers/parents. Online if you can’t get away for an hour! In person, snacks and refreshments available.
Call/Text 940.536.0588 or email selah@selahtraumacc.com to let us know you’re interested!

02/02/2026

02/01/2026

What signs do you recognize in yourself first? Are you operating from an old pattern?

When behaviour escalates, it’s rarely about defiance.

It’s about capacity.

Under stress, children don’t lose motivation —
they lose access to skills.

The thinking brain goes offline.

The survival brain takes over.

And compliance becomes impossible until safety returns.

This is why consequences, lectures, and “you know better” don’t work in heated moments.

Before we ask more of a child, we need to ask:

Can their nervous system cope right now?

Capacity always comes before compliance.

Save this for the next hard moment 💛
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