Selah Trauma Counseling Center

03/12/2026

Whimsy, frolicking, glimmers… the antidote to the heaviness and overwhelm that can creep in. Trauma insists on speed while resilience and healing need a slower pace.

Invitation: inhale, extend that exhale. Make a point to look for something whimsical or a glimmer today. Even if it seems absurd. Savor that moment as you take it in so you can recall it easier when you need it.

03/10/2026

A reminder: you are not too much or too hard to love. You are enough.

03/09/2026

The effects of short form videos are devastating to the brain. The attention span of humans is now less than a goldfish, ironically reducing over a very short time.

Where does the brain light up when completing work on a computer? Roughly two places in contrast to handwriting work which lights up more areas across the brain including language centers (brocas area), motor and sensory bands, the cerebellum, and supports encoding information involving more areas.

There’s a lot of discussion about the hippocampus and encoding of trauma memories, especially with methods like emdr.

I wonder how trauma resiliency will be impacted by the brain underdeveloping because of ‘brain rot’?

Marano G, Kotzalidis GD, Lisci FM, Anesini MB, Rossi S, Barbonetti S, Cangini A, Ronsisvalle A, Artuso L, Falsini C, Caso R, Mandracchia G, Brisi C, Traversi G, Mazza O, Pola R, Sani G, Mercuri EM, Gaetani E, Mazza M. The Neuroscience Behind Writing: Handwriting vs. Typing-Who Wins the Battle? Life (Basel). 2025 Feb 22;15(3):345. doi: 10.3390/life15030345. PMID: 40141690; PMCID: PMC11943480.

Brain rot isn’t just a meme — it’s a real cognitive pattern. It describes what happens when attention becomes harder to sustain after prolonged exposure to fast, low-effort digital content like endless scrolling and short-form feeds.

In 2024, brain rot was Oxford’s Word of the Year, officially defining a term born online:

“A perceived loss of intelligence or critical thinking skills… particularly associated with overconsumption of such content posted online.”

While the term is cultural, the effects are measurable. Brain rot reflects how the mind adapts to rapid, low-challenge digital interfaces, with impacts on attention, memory, and focus.

Learn more about the science behind brain rot: https://bit.ly/4bN7oKT

03/07/2026

National Social Work Month & International Women’s Day.

Cheers to Nef & Lora our favorite social workers!

03/05/2026

World Book Day! What book are you reading that’s helped your mental health?

Jen- Stolen Focus by Johan Hari

03/04/2026

🚑🔥👮‍♂️ The Stress Bucket — First Responder Edition

Every call.
Every report.
Every shift change.
Every critical incident.

It all goes in the bucket.

Workload.
Sleep disruption.
Shift work.
Public scrutiny.
Organizational pressure.
Family strain.
The call that sticks with you.

Some stress is normal. That’s part of the job.

But when the bucket fills faster than it drains… it overflows.

And overflow can look like:
• Irritability
• Numbness
• Trouble sleeping
• Increased drinking
• Pulling away
• Feeling “on edge” even off shift

The drain holes matter.

For first responders, that might be:
✔ Quality sleep (when possible)
✔ Physical training
✔ Time with your crew
✔ Time away from the job
✔ Peer support
✔ Therapy with someone who understands the culture
✔ Intentional recovery days

Resilience isn’t about having a bigger bucket.

It’s about protecting the drains.

If your bucket feels full right now, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human in a high-stress profession.

Protect your capacity like you protect your equipment.

03/03/2026

If you find yourself in a loop, it’s time to go deeper.

You’ve tried the breathing exercises.
The grounding apps.
The “just let it go” advice.

And you still spiral.

That’s not because you’re failing at regulation.

In adult CPtsd, rumination isn’t just a calming problem.
It’s an attachment survival loop.

If you don’t address the attachment layer, breathing alone won’t break it.

If this speaks to you, there are deeper, guided resources inside the Thriver Library to support attachment development gently and safely.

No fixing. No rushing. Just building a sense of self that belongs to you.

Save this if it names something you’ve felt but never had words for.

👉 Explore support with one of our international practitioners via the link in bio.
👉 Start here → link in bio → https://buff.ly/k1ua1Jb

03/03/2026

A sad adoption reality for many. Unfortunately, love alone cannot heal complex, relational trauma and for many, this is an all too real story. It’s not easy for parent or kid.

We have trauma informed groups and individual support available for parents and kids.

In 7 days, our oldest turns 18. Currently, they are incarcerated for a violent criminal conviction and will spend their 18th birthday in a state correctional facility.

Yet, this week, I keep replaying the first day we met.

A park in Crescent City, CA. The social worker walked them toward us. 5 years old. 2 of 9 siblings... and a life that had already required too much survival.

She introduced us.

They looked at us.

And they immediately ran.

At the time, I told myself it was nerves. A big day. A new place. A new family.

It was not nerves.

It was trauma.

Later, we would learn the name for what we were living inside.

Reactive Attachment Disorder, also known as RAD.

RAD can develop when a young child experiences severe neglect, abuse, or wildly inconsistent caregiving in the earliest years of life. The brain adapts to survive. Trust feels dangerous. Closeness feels unsafe. Love does not land as comfort. It can land as threat. Control becomes protection. Pushing people away becomes survival.

A child with RAD often resists attachment to caregivers. They may reject affection. They may sabotage connection. They may create chaos because chaos feels familiar. They can appear charming or regulated outside the home and unravel inside it. They can test loyalty relentlessly.

It is not simple defiance.
It is not a parenting failure.
It is not solved by stricter rules or softer hugs.

It is a survival pattern built early and carved deep.

And it is under researched. Poorly understood. Frequently minimized. Especially in systems already stretched thin.

They ran that first day in the park.

And in many ways, they have been running ever since.

Not always with their feet.

Sometimes emotionally.
Sometimes relationally.
Sometimes from accountability.
Sometimes from the very safety we were trying to build.

Before anyone assumes we were unprepared, hear this clearly.

We did not walk into foster care casually.

In both Oregon and California, we were considered strong foster parents. The kind agencies trusted with complex placements. We mentored other foster families. We supported parents working toward reunification. We did the trainings. We did the therapy homework. We partnered with caseworkers. We believed in the system enough to keep trying to work with it.

We were prepared for hard.

We were not prepared for what RAD can do inside a home.

For 13 years, we did what you are told to do.

We documented.
We reported.
We called crisis lines.
We sat in waiting rooms.
We pushed for higher levels of care.
We navigated county mental health.
We navigated juvenile court.
We navigated state systems.
We were told to call 988.
We were told it was not severe enough.
Then we were told it was too severe.
We were told there were no beds.
We were told to try again next month.

Over and over.

More than 1 professional inside the system told us privately, “You have done everything you can.”

Everything.

And still, in 7 days, they turn 18.

They have made it clear they want no contact. No celebration. No parents present. We are going to respect that.

But I will not pretend it does not hurt.

Because there is something uniquely painful about spending 13 years fighting for a child’s safety and stability and then being told you are not wanted in their adulthood.

Here is the truth people do not say out loud.

18 is an accomplishment.

There were seasons when survival did not feel guaranteed. If you have ever lived in the constant stress of a child in deep crisis, you understand that without explanation.

So today I feel 2 things at once.

Relief that they made it to 18, alive.

Grief for the family story we thought we were building.

Foster care is not clean.
Adoption is not a tidy redemption arc.
Trauma does not evaporate because paperwork becomes permanent.

Sometimes love looks like advocacy.
Sometimes love looks like boundaries.
Sometimes love looks like letting go while still hoping.

In 7 days, our oldest turns 18.

And even with everything that has happened, I can say this clearly.

We showed up.
We fought.
We asked for help.
We stayed.
We did not quit.

I do not know what adulthood will bring for them.

Our hope is one day they decide they will be able to stop running, even for a moment…

03/02/2026

Is this adaptation continuing to help me now?

03/01/2026

A month of meaningful action and in between states. Not quite Spring as the cold wind stirs, a reminder Winter isn’t over just yet either.

Roots have been busy expanding underground and tender little shoots have begun to emerge.

In-between can be uncomfortable. What do you notice quietly stirring? What new habits or boundaries need tending? What will march forth?

02/28/2026

It’s own sort of progress!

Sometimes when I'm with my daughter, but work is on my mind... I catch myself rushing her along.

And then it hits me. These are times for presence. Not for progress. Not for tangible metrics, striving, doing.

Life is for living... BEING.

And as my daughter walks along, gently moving slugs out of the path lest they get trodden on... and curiously sifting through clovers looking for ones with four leaves... I am reminded of the power of living in the moment we have... rather than the ones in our heads.

P.s. If you want to explore a 30 day program to introduce mindful moments into your life (that don't add to your to-do list, but do add to your peace) then start my Get Grounded course (it's free inside my membership - all the membership info is in my bio)

02/26/2026

Did you know that Nef and I are famous? We were spotted in picture in a Polyvagal Institute email that came out yesterday! We were deep in conversation with my friend Stephanie, whom I met in Oxford several years ago, as you can tell by the back of our heads 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Ironically, we remembered to capture a picture yesterday. Cardigans out in the wild! (Just missing 2). I am so proud of each of my co-therapists and all the ways we show up for each other.

Wishing you all gentleness through whatever you’re going through and glimmers to balance the heavy.

Jen