02/04/2026
I have shared with you that in the last two years I lost that feeling of inner peace. And I have been thinking about that. More so within this week, wondering what I did in the past that brought me peace and what has changed that caused me to lose that inner peace.
With the recent passing of my childhood, best friend had caused me to bring that question to the forefront. Which made me gave it a lot of thought.
I now know how I lost my inner peace. In the last two years, I have allowed external to affect my internal, specifically hypocrisy. Hypocrisy can lead to injustice and injustice will lead to pain.
I have always wondered how someone can give advice to others when within themselves, in their own life, having nothing but chaos. How can you give advice to someone on something that you don’t have? This is the reason why I took a break from teaching meditation.
Meditation brought me peace, but by my action towards others and myself had embedded that piece within myself.
Back in 2023 a customer came in. We were just talking in general. Then she looked at me and said “ I wonder how it would feel like to be at peace and how do I get there“ all I could say to her was that your thoughts and your actions along with your feeling, all three must match.
In life, I try my best to have my words matches my actions. As a little girl, I remember my grandfather, kept repeating that to me. He used to say “ you might be the poorest person in the world, but your words and your actions must match. You will gain respect and trust“
As humans, we are not perfect. We will never be perfect. Because we are not designed to be perfect. We can strive to be perfect, but it is extremely hard to be perfect.
It’s human nature to pass judgment on people, whether it be knowingly or unknown. Even though we know we should not. Some continue to pass judgment on people while they themselves are not perfect. This is where the hypocrisy comes in.
And this is where I lost my inner peace in the last two years. I saw people past judgment. I saw and have heard people telling others what they should do while they themselves do exact same thing or even worse.
I am sharing this with you because I will start to cultivate and practice to find my inner peace again. And when I do, I will start the meditation class. I can’t teach you to be at peace  when  I do not have it myself.