05/18/2023
CreativeChild ❤️🩹 and reposted from L.R.Knost - Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources
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Children are human, just like us. They feel things strongly, just like we do. Their feelings matter, just like ours. The thing is, though, things that seem minor to us can feel overwhelming or heartbreaking to them. And those feelings matter. They can’t be reasoned away or minimized away or joked away. Children need to be seen and heard and understood, just like we do.
Children don’t ‘mis’behave. They behave, either positively or negatively, to communicate.
Small children communicate through their behavior because that is the only method of communication they have. Even when they become verbal, though, they still aren’t able to articulate big feelings and subtle problems well verbally, so as parents it’s our role to ‘listen between the lines’ of our children’s behavior to discern the need being communicated.
Meeting the underlying needs being communicated through behavior, even (or especially) challenging behaviors, opens the door to cooperation and offers opportunities to work with our children on better ways to communicate their needs and on setting and maintaining healthy boundaries for both us and them.
Remember, setting boundaries is not about ‘mis’behavior. It’s about ‘guiding’ behavior, and guidance is something we provide through everyday interactions with our children.
The solution to every parenting problem starts with nine little words:
'I'm here.'
'I hear you.'
'How can I help?'
When needs are met through connection, hearts are opened to gentle, respectful, compassionate communication, guidance, and cooperation.
-L.R.Knost
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