Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife I am an LDS relationship and sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology

Many of us inherited problematic messages about modesty and sexuality that stemmed from the fear and anxiety of our pare...
11/21/2025

Many of us inherited problematic messages about modesty and sexuality that stemmed from the fear and anxiety of our parents and culture.

While there is nothing wrong with having guidelines and expectations about dress and sexuality, it is important that these expectations and guidelines are coming from the best in us, not from shame, fear, or anxiety.

In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Brecklyn Simmons of the Bread and Butter Podcast to discuss the negative meanings that many of us inherited around modesty and how we can rethink and reframe those ideas to develop a healthier understanding of modesty.

https://www.finlayson-fife.com/podcasts/conversations-with-dr-jennifer/post/rethinking-modesty

Many of us carry sexual shame that began long before adulthood. The tone of our childhood homes, the way our parents han...
11/20/2025

Many of us carry sexual shame that began long before adulthood. The tone of our childhood homes, the way our parents handled emotion and mistakes, and the silence or anxiety surrounding the body all shaped how acceptable our desires—and our imperfections—felt to us. Those early messages often linger, coloring how we see ourselves and even how we imagine God sees us.

In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Chris Rich of The Mixed-Faith Relationship Podcast to unpack where sexual shame comes from and how it shows up in adulthood. She explains how shame turns toxic when it convinces us that our flaws make us unworthy, and she offers a clearer, kinder way forward—one that helps us accept our embodied nature, integrate our sexuality, and relate to ourselves with more honesty and compassion.

Listen to the full episode here:

https://www.finlayson-fife.com/podcasts/conversations-with-dr-jennifer/post/understanding-sexual-shame

Or watch it on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge8a3JqTf-g

11/18/2025

“I didn’t just read your book. I experienced it…

What you wrote didn’t just inform me. It matured me.

That We Might Have Joy is not a book to consume. It’s a book to submit to — and it asks for the reader’s full presence.

…It is rare to feel both intellectually stretched and personally understood by a text, but somehow you manage both. You write with the clarity of someone who has spent a lifetime observing.

Your voice is quiet, but it’s unflinching.

Reflective, exact, unhurried — and piercingly honest.

You don’t preach, you don’t persuade, you reveal.

And by the time I realized what you were doing, I was already examining my marriage, my faith, my emotional habits, and the excuses I use to stay small.

It’s not therapy, but it feels therapeutic. It’s not doctrine, but it feels spiritually clarifying. It’s not a self-help book, yet it absolutely helps the self.”

Ever read a review that knocked the wind right out of you? This reader articulated perfectly what so many of us experienced reading the book.

You don’t read this book, you experience it.

https://amzn.to/3JEHBJa

(also available on Audible, read by Dr. Jennifer herself!).

If you want to hear a mic drop, ask Dr. Jennifer about love languages.It happens at every event, and her response never ...
11/14/2025

If you want to hear a mic drop, ask Dr. Jennifer about love languages.

It happens at every event, and her response never disappoints.

I was digging around the depths of the archive today and came across two early Facebook Lives where she took up the topic of love languages.

From what I can tell these are two of the oldest Facebook Lives!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zYQOq_F51Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIYqfjMHhYI

11/13/2025

Join us on November 20th at 7 PM MT for a virtual screening of The Mormon S*x Therapist.

It's not just about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's life and work...

It's a glimpse into the lives of people working to create personal growth and relational change.

It's relatable.

It's inspiring.

And it's hopeful.

So don't miss it -- join our mailing list to get the link:

https://mailchi.mp/finlayson-fife.com/subscribe

11/11/2025

When a marriage feels painful or uncertain, it’s easy to tell ourselves we just need more time to figure out the “right” thing to do. But there’s a difference between taking time to make a wise choice and staying stuck because we’re afraid to face the difficult reality of what we know is true. Real hope invites growth and honesty. False hope keeps us waiting for something to change when there’s strong evidence it never will.

In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife answers questions from listeners wrestling with whether to stay or leave their marriages. She explores why peace doesn’t come from certainty, but from the courage to act with integrity—choosing what we believe is most right, even when both paths carry loss.

https://www.finlayson-fife.com/podcasts/conversations-with-dr-jennifer/post/when-it-time-leave-q-dr-jennifer

It doesn’t matter how many times I watch Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s documentary, that line catches my breath every time.It’s t...
11/11/2025

It doesn’t matter how many times I watch Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s documentary, that line catches my breath every time.

It’s the heart of everything I’ve learned from Jennifer over the past ten years all summed up in one perfect line.

And it’s not just me. You can feel the truth and gravity of that idea in the room when she says it during the documentary— the collective “that’s it!”

If you haven’t had a chance to watch “The Mormon S*x Therapist” yet, we will be offering a FREE virtual screening and Q&A with Dr. Jennifer on November 20th at 7 PM MT.

To join us, join our mailing list:

https://mailchi.mp/finlayson-fife.com/subscribe

Marriage requires more of us than just getting married.Marriage asks us to look honestly at ourselves and the impact we ...
11/07/2025

Marriage requires more of us than just getting married.

Marriage asks us to look honestly at ourselves and the impact we have on the other.

Marriage asks us to know our spouse, even the parts that don’t validate us.

Marriage asks us to know our spouse, even the parts of them that don’t validate us.

Marriage asks us to love in the face of our differences.

Ready to create a marriage?

https://www.finlayson-fife.com/courses/course/strengthening-your-relationship

10/31/2025

For as long as she can remember, Ashley has equated obedience with safety.

If she could just stay vigilant enough—follow the rules with precision—everything would work out.

So when she discovered that Kirk had been viewing po*******hy throughout their marriage, something in her worldview crumbled...

Subscribe to Room for Two to join us for this new series with Kirk and Ashley (and hey, subscriptions are on sale!)

https://www.finlayson-fife.com/coaching/room-for-two

Join us TONIGHT for a VIRTUAL date night with Dr. Jennifer! https://www.tickettailor.com/events/jenniferfinlaysonfifephd...
10/30/2025

Join us TONIGHT for a VIRTUAL date night with Dr. Jennifer!

https://www.tickettailor.com/events/jenniferfinlaysonfifephd/1929712

During this livestream, Dr. Jennifer will share powerful insights on how couples can create more peace and intimacy in their relationship.

This unique opportunity offers couples a chance to learn directly from Dr. Jennifer—an introduction to her most important ideas about love, faith, and sexual connection. During the discussion, you'll learn how your relationship can move beyond pressure, frustration, or routine into something far more alive, connected, and deeply sustaining.

Whether you’re looking to strengthen an already good relationship or working through difficult relational dynamics, this evening event is one you won't want to miss!

https://www.tickettailor.com/events/jenniferfinlaysonfifephd/1929712

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Dr. Finlayson-Fife

Jennifer Finlayson-Fife grew up in Burlington, Vermont as one of eight children. She studied Psychology and Women’s Studies at Brigham Young University, and went on to receive her Masters and PhD in Counseling Psychology from Boston College. She has a private practice in Chicago, IL where she works primarily with LDS couples on relational and sexual issues. She is a frequent guest on LDS-themed podcasts, and has written articles for LDS-themed magazines and blogs on the subjects of sexuality and modesty as well as mental health and faith. She is married to John Finlayson-Fife and has three wonderful children.