11/19/2025
Before you get married, there’s one thing I want you to understand:
Love is not enough — skills are.
Because even the strongest couples can fall apart if they don’t know how to communicate in a healthy, regulated way.
And that’s where the Gottman Method comes in.
There’s a framework I teach all my couples called The Four Horsemen — four communication habits that predict divorce with over 90% accuracy:
Criticism – Attacking your partner’s character instead of expressing a need.
Contempt – Sarcasm, eye-rolling, mockery… the biggest relationship killer.
Defensiveness – Protecting yourself instead of taking responsibility.
Stonewalling – Shutting down, avoiding, turning away.
Here’s the truth:
Every couple does these.
What matters is whether you know how to repair them — and replace them with healthier patterns.
Before marriage, you need clarity on how you both fight, how you both repair, and how you both reconnect.
Marriage isn’t about avoiding conflict.
It’s about knowing how to stay connected in conflict.
If you can learn these skills now, you’ll walk into marriage with more clarity, more safety, and a deeper understanding of how to love each other — long-term.
