12/04/2025
Have you Ever Noticed you Pull Back in relationships.
Avoidant Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Care — It Means You’ve Been Protecting Something Sacred”
Learn the two faces of avoidance — and how they can both lead back to love.
Hey Beautiful Soul —
As Porimed, here is email 2 of my new email series: How We Attach! I'm sure most of you know your love language, but if I asked how you attach/connect with others, could you name which of the four styles you are?
Have you ever wondered why you fall in love the way you do — or why some relationships trigger deep wounds? Attachment theory gives us the language to understand the why.
If you havent taken the free quiz (or are about to) — Click here to take it now (https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/)
— you’re already beginning the journey of awareness.
But awareness needs context. So today, I’m pulling back the veil on attachment styles: how they form, how they show up, and how you can begin to shift them — with spiritual + energetic practices included.
🪞 Avoidant Attachment: When Safety Means Distance
Two stories. One pattern: protecting your heart.
🔍 Avoidant: The Wound Beneath the Armor.
At their core, attachment styles are patterns of how we relate to others — especially in love, friendships, and deep bonds. Many of these patterns stem from early childhood and how our caregivers showed up (or didn’t).
The Avoidant Attachment Style: Can be categorized into two separate styles: Two distinct energies inside the Avoidant world — both born from fear, but expressed differently:
1️⃣ The Dismissive Avoidant
They crave freedom. They’ve learned to rely only on themselves and may feel smothered when love gets too close.
They say: “I’m fine.” But their silence is often a survival strategy.
2️⃣ The Fearful Avoidant
They want love desperately — but fear it just as much. They may open their heart, then retreat in confusion.
They say: “Come close, but not too close.” Their nervous system can’t decide what safety feels like yet.
Both are protecting the same sacred truth: a heart that never felt safe to be fully held.
If you or someone you love tends to pull away when things get too close… that isn’t lack of love. It’s a form of protection.
Avoidant attachment develops when the heart learns early that closeness can mean pain. So instead, it builds walls that look like independence — when underneath, it’s longing for connection.
But here’s the truth: Avoidance is not coldness. It’s unhealed tenderness that learned to hide.
🔮Healing Through Awareness
Awareness is the first form of re-parenting.
When you understand why you distance, you start to soften your walls instead of defending them.
💫 Take the quiz again (or share it with someone you love):
👉 Attachment Style Quiz (https://quiz.attachmentproject.com)
🎥 Watch this beautiful breakdown:
Dismissive vs. Fearful Avoidant Explained (The Attachment Project) (https://youtu.be/lFB3Q271X3w?si=SyGKP0Hugu8zBuWu)
📖 Read this article for more:
Understanding the Avoidant Attachment Style (https://youtu.be/lFB3Q271X3w?si=SyGKP0Hugu8zBuWu)
🌿Gentle Guidance from Coach QueenNi
Here are the 4 main styles you’ll see explored (and which you may have seen in your quiz results):
Secure — You feel safe offering vulnerability and receiving closeness
Anxious / Preoccupied — You crave closeness and worry about abandonment
Dismissive / Avoidant — You protect yourself by holding emotional distance
Fearful / Avoidant — You desire connection but are deeply afraid of it
You can read more about how each works here: The Attachment Project – Four Attachment Styles article (https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/?utm_source=chatgpt.com)
If you haven’t yet, take the Attachment Style Quiz: quiz.attachmentproject.com
Whether your avoidance shows up as independence or indecision — know this: you’re not broken. You’re simply learning how to trust safety again.
My Attachment Workbook is designed to help you:
Identify your triggers
Reconnect to your emotions
Practice intimacy at your own pace
It’s your roadmap back to peace, softness, and self-trust.
👉 Explore the Workbook + Healing Tools
Ask yourself: Which part of me is longing to heal right now?
If you feel called, book a session or choose a modality that aligns with what I outlined above — whether coaching, tarot, yoni ritual, or energy reset.
Book A Healing Session
Also — my workbook (if you already have it or will soon) is a companion to this journey. Use it to journal your quiz result, track where you want to heal, and anchor small rituals that align you with the next version of yourself.
Stay tuned We're adding a blog, our blog is being prepared to share insight on attachment theory, betrayal trauma, surviving a narcissist, mindful practice, herbal tips, and all things Queenni. The Throat Charka has been operating in a lower frequency, with recent transitions in Queen's personal life that have activate and elevated the release. We Welcome you subscribe to the blog and dive in. Stay for the next attachment style as we explore each specific style. So we can unpack them layer by layer within your energy.
You are worthy. You are healing. You are becoming more secure by the day.
With love + clarity,
Coach QueenNi
Wellness Alchemist + Transformation Guide
🌿 tothewellnesspalace.com (http://www.tothewellnesspalace.com)
Attachment Style Wounds Workbook
Way to go deeper for you. Click the Link to download My Workbook now.
Click here for an update from The Wellness Palace!!
