Melinda Thacker, MD

02/18/2026

Are you in an unhealthy relationship with surgery? I was. When I stopped needing surgery, I became a better, more regulated surgeon, then I started showing up powerfully at work.

I’ll teach you all about it in “How to Be Powerful at Work” Feb 25 at 6 pm EST.

Comment “powerful” or sign up using the link in my bio.

02/17/2026

Fawning.

Fawning is just people-pleasing.
And it’s a trauma response we learn early in childhood that is further reinforced in training.

Fawning is one of the most rewarded trauma responses.

Fawning is exhausting. Perpetually fawning leads us straight to burnout and resentment.

As you can imagine, it burns a lot of energy to override our inner desires just to please and agree with everyone around us.

As children, we developed fawning beliefs like: “If I do as my parents say, I’ll receive love and approval.”

As trainees, we developed fawning beliefs like: “If my attendings like me, I’ll be successful in my career.”

Our nervous system equated “attending disapproval” with certain death.

It’s important to understand that fawning is normal. Nothing has gone wrong. It’s how the body survives. If you were held up by gunpoint, fawning could save your life.

The problem is when it becomes habitual: fawning colleagues, fawning patients, fawning leadership, fawning friends.

Think of someone you can’t be yourself around. Of course, you avoid them! You might think you don’t like being around them because they exhaust you. No. They trigger the fawn response in you.

When we fawn, we violate our own boundaries. Imagine the energy expenditure: hiding our own jaw tension, shoulder tension, and surging heart rate, all while smiling and nodding along. Burnout is a natural progression of this behavior.

If you feel called out, please know you are in good company. I’m still learning to stay on top of my fawning response.

You can learn to say what you mean, unapologetically. You can create safety around disagreement and discourse. You can tell a patient the hard thing. You can tell leadership “no” without overexplaining. You can cancel on a friend when you are at capacity.

I’d challenge you to pay attention to how often the words coming out of your mouth are congruent with what’s in your brain. Or how often the words in an email you write align with what you really think and feel.

Make your communications match with your desires, beliefs, preferences, and capacity level…and your whole world will shift.

02/17/2026

Confidence is a factor of self-concept. It is fluid and will wax and wane throughout our careers.

Competence increases with reps and practice. Once you master a skill, it’s yours for life.

What I’d like to see shift in surgery culture:
✔️normalize dips in confidence
✔️stop conflating confidence with ability

What are your thoughts and experiences? Comment below ⬇️

02/17/2026

A strong surgeon belief triad is one tool that promotes psychological safety for us. Join me for “How to Be Powerful at Work”, a free webinar for surgeons.

Wednesday Feb 25th at 6 pm EST.

I’ll teach you tools and mindset shifts that helped me move beyond anxiety, dread and panic to having no thoughts about operating. Surgery is just something I do now.

Comment “powerful” to register.

02/16/2026

Every nonsense policy is one boundary away from dying. It starts with all of us. What boundary can you set at work this week?

02/15/2026

02/14/2026

Monday’s episode of Surgeons with Purpose features Tiphany Kane. Her story is an example of what happens when we dehumanize patients vs what happens when we show up in service.

A LOT can go wrong postoperatively, and as long as we - surgeons - show up in service, all will be well. I promise you.

You have one primary job: SERVE (not FIX…not CURE), just serve, the patient. I cannot say it enough.

Listen to episode 85 From Gaslighting to Real Care: A Patient’s Perspective wherever you get your podcasts.

02/13/2026

You’re not going to leave this webinar “healed”, but you will learn some immediately actionable tools to help you show up as a more powerful version of yourself. These are the kinds of trainings I wished were available when I was in the throws of emotional distress. I hope it helps you! Comment “powerful” for the link to register for “How to Be Powerful at Work” Wed Feb 25, 6 pm EST.

See you inside the class.

02/12/2026

Surgeons aren’t burned out.
We’re dysregulated.

Most of us are living in chronic trauma response:
• hypervigilance
• fight-or-flight when the pager goes off
• complication and litigation anxiety
• fear of leadership emails
• constant second-guessing in the OR
This isn’t a personal failure.
It’s what happens when high-stakes work meets an unregulated nervous system.
I know this because I lived it.
It got as bad as panic attacks in the operating room.
I’m Dr. Mel Thacker—ENT surgeon and master coach—and I learned how to move through trauma, regulate my nervous system, and show up as the most powerful version of myself at work.

If you’re tired of operating from fear, I’m teaching exactly how I did it in a free live webinar:
How to Be Powerful at Work
🗓 Wed Feb 26 | 6 PM EST
Power is about clarity, self-trust, and choice. Not ego, self-denial and pretending.
➡️ Comment “powerful” or use link in bio to register

02/10/2026

In surgery we are taught to dissociate from our body. In coaching, we develop a relationship with our body. What I’ve learned about myself is that by body’s “Yayyyyy!” and “I agree wholeheartedly” shoes up as full body chills.