Namastasia

06/14/2022

What makes you excited?  I asked my partner this the other day out of the blue and he responded immediately.  He then asked me and I didn’t have an answer.  The fact that I couldn’t think of something immediately was stressful for me.

How could I be someone who helps others figure those things out, when I couldn’t even figure it out for myself?

So I mulled it over for about a week and one night, while working on one of the many art projects I have, it came to me, being creative/making things with my hands and helping others.

So why is this important?

I’m 35, when I think about that it amazes me.  I don’t feel 35, I don’t think I look 35, but when that number comes up, I feel a sense of panic.

What have I been doing with my life?  I’ve caught myself waiting.  Waiting for more clients, waiting for a more stable income, waiting to have a baby, waiting to get married, waiting to buy a house etc. etc.

But what’s happening while I wait?

Life.

Life is happening every single moment we are alive.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the “I’ll be happy when ____.”

I’m not saying my life is over, it’s far from it, but what I do know is that life doesn’t wait for you.

What makes you most excited?  Are you doing those things as much as possible?  Do you purposely make time for them or do they get outweighed by other things?

No matter how busy we are, no matter how many responsibilities we have, there is always time for what makes you happy.  

Think about it, if you wait till the end of your life, and you look back, how would you describe your life if you put the happiness aside?

Will you be in the last moments of your life and say “I’m so glad I worked those days, or earned that money, or missed xyz to get that overtime”?

No.

In the end, it’s your life and your choice, but take some time to think about what really makes you excited.  It’s worth it.

06/07/2022

“Lunch Break” copic markers on paper

03/22/2022

03/15/2022

Learning and growing are a part of life.  Without it we wouldn’t be living, we would be existing.

With that said I want to admit that in the past I’ve posted here that we should only focus on the positives in life.  Although that’s partly true, it is not completely true.

When we are feeling a certain way, in this case, negative emotions, it can be helpful to figure out exactly why we are feeling it and where it is coming from.

Oftentimes the negative feelings are not directly coming from the source where we believe they are coming from.

Let me give you a scenario.  You are in line at the grocery store and find yourself getting very irritated because the lines are long, it’s taking forever, it feels like it’s just one thing after the other.  You’re upset with the cashier, the people in front of you, and anything that is a slight inconvenience at the moment.

You are not upset because of anything above.  It’s something else.

That’s why it’s important to go deeper. It’s important because once you figure out what is at the root of the issue, the little things roll off you like water on wax.

It’s also important because those around you who are just trying to get through their day might be having a frustrating day of their own, and reacting with anger could ruin their day.

Who wants that?

It’s uncomfortable to dig deep and realize where the negative feelings are coming from because most of the time we are to blame.

Did you stay up too late and over sleep and now your entire day is rushed?  Did you say something mean to a loved one because you’re exhausted and now you’re in a fight?  Are you stressed about money because you made a purchase you didn’t need and now you’re stretched too thin.

Whatever the case is, look deeper to uncover why you are feeling irritated in a situation that doesn’t need to be a big deal.

Once you do, you can start to take steps to fix or change it, rather than continuing to stress and feel anger.

03/08/2022

Those of you who have struggled with body-image might know that there are good days and bad days.  Days where you see yourself and you’re like “hell yeah sexy!”  And other days where you feel like crying.

Both are okay.

One doesn’t mean you are good or bad, healed or not healed.  It just shows you where you are at this moment.

Even though I work with people to help them heal from negative feelings towards their bodies, I still have days where I feel meh about my body.  That just means I’m human and shows that this work is not something that happens overnight.

When you do have days where you don’t feel great about your body, usually, there is something deeper going on.

Ask yourself, is there something stressful/triggering going on in your life right now?  Take some time to think about that because sometimes it can be something completely unrelated to your body.

It’s common to use weight/food/body obsession as a means to control or take the focus of something that feels uncomfortable.

Again, it’s okay if you find yourself doing that.  Congratulate yourself when you recognize you are doing it because that is a step in the right direction!

When you’re spewing negativity at your body, take a moment.  Breathe.  Get back into your body by doing any kind of movement, as small as stretching your fingers, rolling your neck and/or shoulders.

Use the moment to get centered, grounded, and embodied.

From there, remind yourself that you are beautiful, unique, strong, (insert any adjective that you love) while taking some slow deep breaths.

It is possible to love yourself and your body.  You did it as a child, it’s within you, sometimes we just need to navigate a new way of getting back there.

I’ve had years of experience with this and I would be honored to help you navigate this.

You deserve to feel love for yourself and your body.

03/01/2022

We all have choices.  We make more than 3500 in a day.  The question is, what are you deciding to choose to bring into your life?  Is there something you desire that feels out of reach?  

I’ve spent most of my life allowing others to make choices for me.  In a way it felt safer and easier.  If the choice that I allowed someone else to make didn’t go the way I wanted, I don’t have to blame myself or take responsibility.

The thing is, when you allow others to choose for you, you are giving away your power and identity.  Sure it’s easier to blame someone else for things not working out in your favor, but owning up to your decisions, your failures, your successes, allows you to grow.

We learn from our mistakes, and as hard as they can feel sometimes, they push us to realize where we can improve and where we can change.  Those failures are a gift.

Imagine changing your mindset, allowing yourself to no longer see failure as a negative occurrence in your life, rather a positive one.

Maybe you decided to ask for a raise at work and were denied.  Rather than seeing it as a failure, look at it as an opportunity to figure out a new way, a new approach, see where you can improve at work, or maybe begin to look for a new job.

Imagine you did those things after being denied a raise.  Are you not better off now?  Did you not improve at work or at least look for a new job that could pay more or you possibly enjoy more?

You will never know unless you make the decision to put yourself out there and own up to your choices.

We can all dream, but changes don’t happen unless we take action and own the choices we make.

Own your choices.  Own the wins.  Own the failures.  Understand that failure is a gift to show us where we can improve to better ourselves.

You are worth it.  You deserve it.  You can make it happen.

02/07/2022

I’ve almost always had a hard time making decisions.  Simple things like deciding what to order at a restaurant was sometimes enough to heighten my anxiety.

What if I make the wrong decision?!

Sometimes just the prompt to make a decision was enough to paralyze me.  I’d freeze, unable to make a choice, scared I would mess everything up.  It felt like fate of the world was resting in my decision.

It sounds silly but it’s real and I know I’m not the only one out there.  I eventually realized that part of the problem was that I had so little trust in my decision making, I was relying on others to make the decision for me.  Sound familiar?

Asking a friend or family member their opinion on something is fine, but ultimately the decision should come from you.  That’s where I had a block.

I didn’t trust myself to know if I liked green or blue better.  If I wanted to wear a dress or pants to dinner.  Fruit or ice cream etc.

There wasn’t just one factor in my life that has led me to be so anxious about making decisions, like most things, it’s multifactorial.  

What helped me begin to get out of this loop was to get out of my head and into my body.  I feel that my body knows things before my mind does so I figured why not listen to it?

I decided when I feel overwhelmed, I sit down, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, put my hand over my heart, and I listen. The message can be subtle at first, but it’s there.

Remind yourself that in most cases, it’s not the end of the world if you realize you made a decision you’re not over the moon about.  Most times you can change your mind or walk away.
 
The more I did this the easier it got.  The essence of who I am knows what it wants, I have just been so busy freaking out and trying to get it “right” that I didn’t pay attention to the answers I already knew.

I want to say I am not perfect at this, and it’s still a work in progress but I am proud to say that making decisions is much easier for me and way less anxiety inducing.

If you want to know more, please don’t hesitate to DM me or comment below.

01/18/2022

Sensuality, it’s a word that continues to come up for me. For so long I had a hard time trying to connect with my sensual side but through movement and self-love practices I realized I am a very sensual being.

Sensuality to me is connecting with my senses. When I do my yoga practice I am connecting with how the stretches feel for my muscles, the feeling of the air as it fills my lungs and the feeling of relaxation on the exhale.

The scent of incense or essential oils makes me feel sexy as well as helps me relax into being exactly who I am. My eyes see and love wherever I am practicing, my cozy yoga space, a deck overlooking the lake, the yoga studio.

I allow my eyes to wonder over the beauty the space has to offer. Other times I liked to keep my eyes closed and imagine what my body is looking like where I am on my mat, or even picture a serene location.

The taste of pure water on my lips, or the saltiness of sweat from the energy I have been exerting to build strength in my body.

The sound of the playlist, or maybe it’s just the breeze, the crickets, or the birds.

Every moment we have the ability to be sensual without selves and it doesn’t have to be sexual unless you want it to be.

What do you do to make yourself feel like a sensual goddess?

11/30/2021

This upcoming trip has brought up a lot of fears.

I’m scared to travel solo
I’m scared I could get lost
I’m scared I don’t know enough spanish
I’m scared I could get sick
I’m scared I might hate it
Etc.

But you know what?  The fear of missing out on this dream I have had, is scarier than any of those because I choose to live the life I dream.

Those fears are valid, they very well might come true, but they also could not.

What kind of life would I be living if I let fear of suffering prevent me from my dreams?

You can, in all reality, be afraid of everything but how would your life be?.

Fear of choking, better not eat
Fear of a car accident, better not go anywhere
Fear of embarrassment, better not make new friends
Fear of rejection, better not ask for a promotion/ask that person out
Fear of loss, better not get close to anyone

All these things could happen, yet you still do some if not all of them. 

So what fears are holding you back from your dream life?
What fears are keeping you from being the best version of yourself?

You can make that dream life real.  Things might get scary but that’s just part of the journey.

Join me tonight 5:30 at Happy Buddha for my last all levels class before I leave

11/21/2021

I’ve done a lot of work on self-worth.  I’ve found that it’s very common to feel a lack in that area, I know I have.

A lack of self-worth doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you or you’re broken, it’s very often a result of your environment and relationships.  Who do you surround yourself with?  Are those people helping you become the best version of yourself or are they keeping you stuck?  Do you find yourself in situations that continue to chip away at the amazing person you are?  Do you feel you have tendencies that are hindering your self-growth?

Self worth is not something that can be learned overnight.  It is a process and a journey.  So what can you do to help you feel worthy?

There is some truth to the whole “fake it till you make it,” in that having a dialogue with yourself, reminding yourself that you are incredible and saying positive statements about yourself does have an impact.  Our thoughts manifest within our bodies.  If you are constantly berating yourself or talking down to yourself, those thoughts are going to eventually become a part of who you are.

During this process it can sometimes feel like you are lying to yourself, but the more you say it the more you will believe it and the more you will FEEL it.

When you start to feel even a little bit of worthiness, confidence will follow.  With that confidence comes the ability to set healthy boundaries and stating your needs.  You might begin to realize that the people and situations you thought were helpful, are actually the things keeping you stuck.

Like I said it’s a process.

It’s not an easy process, but it’s worth it because you are worth it.  You deserve to feel that life is happening for you, not to you.  I wouldn’t have taken the time to write this if I didn’t believe this with all of my being.

I work with people on building their self-wroth, if you would like to know more, feel free to send me a DM.

10/06/2021

I’ve been going through it the past couple of weeks.  The main things coming up are self-doubt and fear.  It takes a brave person to live the life they want.  If you don’t want to continue on the path you are currently going, changes must be made.

It’s difficult to make decisions that don’t align with the beliefs of the people that you love, especially if throughout your life, you choose others’ comfort over yours just so you can keep the peace.  But what is the cost of that to you?

For me, it caused me to make myself small.  Always worried about ruffling feathers and disturbing the peace, I found myself unhappy.  When you make a point to allow others’ comfort before yours all the time, it can feel like a prison.  Maybe that feels good for you, maybe you like knowing you will be doing the exact same things you are doing now in 5, 10 years.  But for me, that sounds awful.

January 2020 I booked a one-way ticket to Bali, a way of getting myself out of the loop. The universe had other plans with the pandemic.  I’m not upset about that, I did a s**t ton of inner work and also found the man of my dreams.

However, even though some good came out of it, that feeling, of being stuck or stagnant was still there.  I crave adventure, meeting new people, and seeing new places.  After all, what’s the point in saving all my money, working all the time, if I don’t get to use it for the things that light my soul on fire?

Last night I booked a two-month stay in Ometepe.  Other than the trip to Bali, it’s the most adventurous thing I can say I have done in my life.  Yes, I am nervous, worried, afraid, but I am also so fu***ng stoked that I finally took a big step towards what I want in my hero’s journey.  It feels like a weight has been lifted from my chest and I can finally take in a deep breath.

It would be a lie to say that I don’t fluctuate between fear and excitement.  What’s important is to remind myself of who I am and who I am working to become.  These words are just a few I use to describe myself in my daily meditations.  The reminders help me keep the veil off my eyes that can get placed when I listen to everyone else’s thoughts and forget what my own heart wants.