10/16/2025
Understanding the Building Blocks of Self-Regulation
It’s no surprise to see young children bouncing off the walls before bed, rolling around on the carpet during story time, or swaying back and forth during a meal. These moments are nearly universal, and they are completely developmentally appropriate.
Young children don’t yet have the mature brain structures responsible for self-regulation, focus, and sustained attention. Those networks (primarily within the prefrontal cortex) are still under construction. This is why you rarely see adults flopping across the floor or spinning in circles before dinner. That would look a little strange, right? But for children, this movement is exactly what they are wired to do. Movement is what builds the brain, and it’s why every child, across cultures and generations, demonstrates it.
When children move, several things are happening in the brain at once...
Movement activates the vestibular system, which helps the brain understand balance, gravity, and spatial orientation. It also stimulates the proprioceptive system, which gives feedback about body position and muscle effort. Together, these systems send powerful sensory input to the brainstem and cerebellum, the regions that support coordination, arousal regulation, and attention. Each time a child jumps, climbs, spins, or sways, neurons fire between these areas and higher brain centers, strengthening the neural pathways that eventually support emotional control, impulse regulation, and focused thought.
When we repeatedly halt or “correct” this natural movement (e.g. insisting that a child sit still before their body is ready or by viewing their motion as misbehavior), we interrupt this developmental process. The nervous system loses the sensory input it needs to organize itself. Instead of calming the child, forced stillness can increase stress, frustration, or hyperactivity, as the body’s internal systems remain unbalanced. Over time, children who are discouraged from moving may struggle more with attention, coordination, and emotional regulation because the foundational brain work never fully took place.
Many adults assume that sitting still is simply a matter of practice, something that can be taught or trained early to “prepare them for kindergarten,” for example. But the ability to sit, focus, and sustain attention isn’t a learned behavior, it’s actually a maturational milestone. It emerges naturally once the neural circuits that control regulation are developed through years of movement, sensory exploration, and relational safety. A child cannot will their way into regulation any more than they can will their bones to grow faster.
Of course, there are factors that can strengthen or interfere with this process.
When children spend long hours seated, exposed to screens, or under chronic stress, the developing brain receives less sensory input and fewer opportunities to organize itself. Environments that are overstimulating or punitive can also heighten stress responses, making regulation harder to achieve.
What strengthens it are experiences that engage the whole body and the whole child, such as climbing, balancing, swinging, dancing, rough-and-tumble play, outdoor exploration, and connection with responsive adults. These experiences flood the brain with the rich sensory and emotional input it needs to integrate systems for regulation, focus, and learning.
Self-regulation doesn’t begin in stillness; it begins in motion. Each wiggle, climb, and jump is the brain building the architecture for control, attention, and calm. Our role is not to stop it, but to understand it, trust it, and create the environments that allow it to unfold.
