Linda Kennedy Hassel, LCSW

04/14/2023

How to practice self respect:

1. Make and keep promises to yourself

2. Follow through on your own word

3. Ask yourself: “What is my true motivation for doing this?” (Shadow work)

4. Have uncomfortable conversations on a regular basis even when you cringe and tell the truth— it’ll become easier with practice

5. BE KIND TO YOURSELF: we’re all flawed humans with light and “dark” parts of ourselves. We don’t like this but it’s true. The more you accept your dark parts, the more you can forgive yourself and move forward when you are your wounded self.

6. Know you’re values: I wrote a who chapter on this in for a reason. Few of us know our *own* values and even fewer of us live them. If you can live your values, you’re the most powerful person in any room.

7. Break the addiction to external validation: when external validation and approval is our sense of self worth we’re easily out integrity. Make choices so that you sleep well, don’t need to remember your lies, and don’t have emotional debts to others

03/06/2023

This is the most important reason why it is important to find an experience therapist in the field of trauma  and begin to work on your stuff! Negative behavior may be a reason, but it can never be an excuse.  Reach out…

03/06/2023

Midlife does not have to be any particular age…it is the time when we realize this is not dress rehearsal! It is the time to stop pretending you are happy and instead be filled with joy!

I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:

'' I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing , these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.
Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts.
I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.
Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”

~ Brené Brown ~

Artist Credit : Duong Quoc Dinh

01/19/2023

Now that the holidays are behind us, take a moment to check in with your body. Do you feel relieved? Grateful? Or a little blue? Pay attention to where you feel this in your body and take a deep breath, envisioning yourself sending oxygen to that part of your body.

It is normal to experience a season of "January Blues," especially after the holidays. Below, you'll find what you need to know about the difference between the "January Blues" and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and when to seek help.

Depression in winter months commonly occurs for various reasons, such as reduced daylight hours, which can affect your circadian rhythm.

01/11/2023

Break the pattern of codependent relationships .
More info in this article: https://www.livewellwithsharonmartin.com/end-codependent-relationships/

11/28/2022

Love this article posted by GWU on protecting your mental health during the holidays. Although this article was written for young adults returning home from college, any adult returning home for the holidays can apply these coping skills to their lives. As explained by Ruth Steinhardt in the article, it is possible for adults well out of their teens and 20s to experience emotional regression or engage in unhealthy family patterns when returning to the family home. Skills that can help manage the resulting emotional toll can include: setting boundaries, taking breaks, and connecting with a trusted person for support. Most importantly, remember to acknowledge that your feelings are valid and take a nonjudgmental attitude towards yourself regardless of your emotions. Whether you are feeling grateful for the traditions and family surrounding you, experiencing conflict with a certain family member, or missing someone at your dinner table, know that your reaction is perfectly normal, and this too shall pass.

Counseling and Psychological Services’ Jessica Parrillo offers tips on how to maintain balance during winter transitions to and from school.

11/17/2022

11/16/2022

Interesting story to consider as we approach the Thanksgiving holiday. Consider the following quote from the end of the story as you may find yourself in conversations among family members who you disagree with, or who disagree with you. When ignorance screams, intelligence moves on.

"It is degrading for a brave, intelligent creature like you to waste time arguing... The biggest waste of time is arguing with the fool who doesn't care about truth or reality, but only the victory of his beliefs and illusions. There are people who, for all the evidence presented to them, do not have the ability to understand. Others are blinded by ego, hatred, and resentment, and the only thing that they want is to be right even if they aren’t. When ignorance screams, intelligence moves on."

11/09/2022

It is said in Zen tradition: "You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes a day. Unless you're too busy-- then you should sit for an hour."

Though most of us in the modern world would genuinely struggle to carve out an hour of our day to sit quietly, there may be some truth to this old saying. In order to preserve our ability to maintain a sense of calm among the storm, it is important to develop coping skills to manage life stressors, anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions. If you could use some stress relief in your day, give this resource a try. It's a short, 7-minute guided meditation called "Leaves on a Stream," which is derived from an Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) intervention.

Join Eating Recovery Center and Pathlight Mood & Anxiety Centers for a moment of zen."Leaves on a Stream" is from ACT, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. ...

11/03/2022

'“We’re talking about brainwashing. Doctrines taught over and over and over with consequences that are eternal and terrifying.”

After the 2016 election, former conservative evangelical Blake Chastain created the Twitter hashtag, which went viral and became a loose social movement of former evangelicals speaking publicly about leaving their faith communities. “One of the most common things among everyone is they’ve experienced some sort of trauma,” says Chastain.

“It’s now no longer taboo to talk about it,” said Laura Anderson, a licensed therapist specializing in religious trauma. In 2019, she and therapist Brian Peck co-founded the Religious Trauma Institute, with the mission of developing resources for mental health practitioners to work with survivors of religious trauma.'

If you or a friend/family member has experienced religious trauma or an adverse religious experience, help is available. Therapy is a wonderful tool for processing the immeasurable pain that often accompanies religious trauma. Other resources include: religioustraumainstitute.com, on Instagram and Facebook, and podcasts such as "Holy Heretics: Losing Religion and Finding Jesus," and "Dirty Rotten Church Kids." Note that these resources, while incredibly useful, are not a substitute for therapy provided by a licensed mental health professional.

Meet the “exvangelicals” seeking therapy for religious trauma.

10/27/2022

Invalidation can be a painful and confusing experience, especially when coming from a family member or romantic partner. It can be especially impactful if we experience this as a child, when our brains are more impressionable due to neuroplasticity. Sharon Martin, LCSW, takes the stance that this is a form of emotional abuse. If you have experienced or continue to experience this today, know that your feelings are valid and you deserve to feel heard.

Emotional invalidation is painful. Sometimes it's unintentional, but it's a sign of emotional abuse when done repeatedly and intentionally.