Lillian Lai, LCSW

01/14/2026

👇 📅 Want more info from experts on how to be a better parent?! Type SUMMIT to get a link to our FREE 2026 Parenting & Children's Mental Health Summit March 16-19, 2026.

🛡️ Many of us grew up in environments where big feelings were met with shame, punishment, or dismissal To stay connected to the adults we depended on, we learned to push down our sadness, anger, and fear as a form of self-protection.

⚠️ When our own children express those same emotions, it can quietly activate that younger part of us 👶💭. Their feelings don’t just belong to them — they stir old patterns in our nervous system Without realizing it, we may shift into protection mode, not because our child is unsafe, but because we feel unsafe with the discomfort those emotions bring.

In those moments, the urge to shut the feelings down, fix them quickly, or make them stop isn’t a parenting failure — it’s a survival response learned long ago. Awareness gives us the chance to pause ⏸️, soften 🌱, and respond with the safety and attunement we may not have received ourselves 💛.

MARCH 16-19 join Join Dr. Vanessa Lapointe, Dr. Steve Biddulph, Dr. Ross Greene, Dr. Laura Markham, Dr. Joel Warsh, Dr. Lawrence Cohen, Dr. Michael Gurian and so many more!

📕 TOPICS INCLUDE:
Emotion regulation, compassionate discipline, childhood anxiety, healing insecure attachment, ADHD, neurodiversity & autism, highly sensitive children, parenting toddlers, managing screen time, online safety, fostering brain development, raising resilient kids, positive body image, power of play, parental anxiety, fatherhood, picky eating, how to talk so kids will listen, and so much more!

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11/25/2025

SECOND CHANCE SUNDAY - another opportunity to see our most popular posts of the past 7 days.

During a meltdown, the goal is not to 'fix' or 'stop' the behaviour.
The goal is to help the nervous system return to safety.

What we say — and how we say it — makes a profound difference.

When a child is overwhelmed, the thinking parts of the brain are offline.
They can’t reason, respond, or problem-solve yet.
They need co-regulation, not correction.

This post offers phrases you can use at each stage of the meltdown cycle — not to control the moment, but to support safety, connection, and repair.

Because when a child learns:
“I can have big feelings and still be safe with you,”
they develop emotional resilience, trust, and self-understanding.

If you found this helpful and would like a deeper breakdown of each phase (with step-by-step support strategies), you’ll find the full Timeline of a Meltdown resource via link in comments below ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in Bio.

Save this to come back to when things feel overwhelming

11/25/2025

Meltdowns are unavoidable but we can learn how to manage them better.

SECOND CHANCE SUNDAY

A meltdown isn’t a child 'losing control' on purpose.
It’s the nervous system moving into overwhelm — often because things have felt too loud, too fast, too uncertain, or too much for too long.

When we understand the phases of a meltdown, we can respond with care rather than correction.
We can spot the early signs.
We can keep connection safe.
We can help a child return to calm without shame.

Today we’re exploring the Timeline of a Meltdown— what’s happening in the brain and body, what it looks like, and how we can support at each stage. Visuals for parents/educators and child voice style for young people. For more support, see our Timeline of a Meltdown Resource Pack – link in comments below ⬇️ or Linktree Shop in Bio.

09/24/2025

09/15/2025

A simple question “How’s your day?” can be overwhelming and confusing to kids. And us the parents tend not to be satisfied with the answer “Good.”
Let’s try to ask in different ways and see which one is more engaging.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1193292226160069&set=a.631244425698188&type=3

Credit:
💬 Tired of hearing “fine” when you ask how school was? Try these after-school questions that actually get your kids talking. 🚌💙 From storytelling to problem-solving to gentle statements that show you care, these prompts invite connection without pressure—because some kids don’t want to be interviewed right after a long day!

Whether your child had a tough day, a great one, or something in between, these conversation starters help them open up in a way that feels safe and supported.

09/08/2025

https://www.facebook.com/thecontentedchild/posts/pfbid0zGhxpQTs4LA5Ewo3SfEPdv7cgiQgLwEwKzMFpAsE154sdEfiorgAQSVpNrYSe5izl

😮 “They’re just being naughty.”
🤔 “They’re doing it for attention.”
🙅 “They should know better by now.”

When a child comes home from school and falls apart, it’s easy for these myths to creep in. But the reality? After-school restraint collapse is a release of everything they’ve been holding inside all day.

It’s not misbehaviour — it’s communication.

NOW AVAILABLE - only £3.25 until 15 September 2025.
Introducing the After School Restraint Collapse Toolkit for Parents & Educators
Electronic download available at https://thecontentedchild.co.uk/product/after-school-restraint-collapse-the-toolkit-for-parents-educators/

07/15/2023

Parents and caregivers can be a big part of treatment. Here are some ways you can be supportive in your child's mental health.

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/my-son-suffers-from-anxiety/?fbclid=IwAR0dOviZ0Va1uwq0gpfNW9_cRmFOvI9rHKZ56V-PRPk7uVjDWxaTYj0uvtY

Here are some ways we manage it.

01/24/2023

https://www.ebony.com/10-ways-to-spot-mental-health-issues-small-children/?fbclid=IwAR1qg1H2TAadP00FWngqc1qc87uYRpYZ_wO0ICIHrqJtuufyxzzb-sKD8aM

Younger children are often overlooked in this discourse, but these 10 signs can help you spot mental health issues in your child early on.

01/11/2023

Yes, it's raining out there. BUT it doesn't mean that we have to stop having fun with our little ones!

Great activities to do when you're stuck indoors!

https://teaching2and3yearolds.com/easy-toddler-indoor-activities/

11/28/2022

It's ok to set boundaries.
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Image via selfloverainbow on IG

11/15/2022

Most kids might be looking forward to the holiday seasons. But holiday seasons can be stressful to some of them. Why and how can we do to help?

https://www.understood.org/en/articles/8-difficult-holiday-situations-for-kids-with-anxiety

Holidays can challenging for kids who already struggle with anxiety. Here are 8 holiday situations that can contribute to anxiety, and how to help.

10/19/2022