04/03/2026
It is a rare blessing to find and study with an exemplary, masterful Teacher especially for Spiritual Warriors. The writings of Pema Chodron and her presentations on teaching Spiritual Warriors mirror what I have experienced with my Teacher. The great love of a Teacher invested in the spiritual growth of the student above and beyond any need to make people “feel good.” The great love of a Teacher who is willing and able to tolerate with loving detachment the often explosive reactions of a student, and a Teacher who never gives up on a student. These characteristics model a tradition that I belive in and do my best to emulate at Life Path Healings.
The path of a Spiritual Warrior is not for everyone. Hopefully the Pema Chodron material presented here, which so beautifully expresses my Path and tradition, will give you a clear picture and help you decide if The Way of Life Path Healings is for you.
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These are excerpts from: The Spiritual Friend: Pema Chodron. If you love this material, you can find the essay in its entirety in her book “The Places that Scare You.”
“The real function of a Spiritual Friend is to insult you.” Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
Warriors in training need someone to guide them – a master warrior, a teacher, a spiritual friend, someone who knows the territory well and can help them find their way…It is rare that students initially feel ready for a more unconditional commitment with a teacher, working very intimately on where they are holding back. Not many of us have that much trust in another person, that much willingness to be seen without our masks. We are wise, in fact, not to rush into such relationship … without the confidence that this particular teacher is trustworthy…. When I asked Trungpa Rinpoche if I could be his student I was not ready to enter into an unconditional relationship. But for the first time in my life I had met a person who was not caught up, a person whose mind was never swept away. I realized that with guidance from him, this was also possible for me. I was drawn to him because I couldn’t manipulate him; he knew how to cut through people’s trips. I experienced that cutting through as threatening, but in a very refreshing way. Still it took me years to develop enough trust…to surrender to the relationship completely. Moving closer to someone who is so dangerous to the ego takes time.
Either the relationship with a teacher evolves to a place of unconditional trust and love, or it doesn’t. We have to trust the process. In either case the relationship with a teacher encourages us to trust our basic wisdom. It teaches us to be steadfast with ourselves. In the warrior tradition it is said that both the teacher and the student are fully awake, that between the teacher and the student there can be a meeting of minds. The teacher’s role is to help the student realize that his awakened mind and the teacher’s are the same. At some point there is an important change of allegiance. Instead of always identifying with our neurosis, we begin to have confidence in our basic intelligence and kindness. This is a significant shift. Without developing this basic trust in ourselves, going further with a teacher is impossible.
Once we are ready to enter into an unconditional relationship, however, it teaches us how to be steadfast with every situation. Entering into this level of commitment to one person prepares us to stay open not only to the teacher but also to our whole experience. The teacher is a full-fledged human being, not some spiritual ideal. In this relationship, as in any other, we will experience likes and dislikes. We might find ourselves plunged right into the midst of chaos and insecurity. This relationship will show us if our heart is big enough to welcome the whole gamut of life – not just the part we approve of. To the degree we are capable of remaining steadfast with our spiritual friend, to this degree we can remain steadfast with the world as it is, with all its violence and tenderness, with its meanness and moment of courage. We find ourselves opening up in a way we never thought was possible.
Bodhisattva training encourages us to have a passionate involvement with life, regarding no emotion or action as unworthy of our love or compassion, regarding no person or situation as unacceptable. Therefore this path requires discipline and it also needs guidance. How much guidance we are ready to accept is the question. In the absence of a narrow, restrictive set of rules, we need someone to show us when we’re off track, someone to whom we’ll listen.
Whatever we do, the teacher is extraordinarily adaptable and loyal to the process of our awakening. This master warrior serves as a mirror that shows us our mind with embarrassing accuracy. The more we trust ourselves and the teacher, the more we allow this mirroring to happen. We slowly move in the direction of allowing every person we meet to be our teacher. We find ourselves more able to understand the mind-training slogan “Be grateful to everyone.”
We don’t, however, think of the teacher as having all the wisdom while we have none. There’s too much hope and fear in that kind of setup. If I had been advised never to question my teachers, I wouldn’t have lasted very long as a student. I was always encouraged to use my critical intelligence an express my concerns without fear. I was actually advised to question authority and rules.
It is important to understand that the minds of the teacher and student meet, not by making the teacher all right or all wrong, but in the ambiguity between those two views, in the capacity to contain uncertainty and paradox. Otherwise our adulation inevitably flips into disillusionment. We bolt when the teacher doesn’t fit our preconceptions. We don’t like her political views or the fact that she eats meat, drinks alcohol, smokes ci******es. We’re out of there because we don’t like a change in the organizational policy or because we feel unappreciated or neglected. We’ll hang in for a honeymoon period, endowing the relationship with all our longings to be loved in an ideal, non-messy way. Then inevitably our expectations are disappointed, and unresolved emotional issues arise. We feel used, betrayed, disillusioned. We don’t want to feel these painful feelings and we leave….
Even if we do leave a teacher, if we can stay with the pain and disappointment without justifying or condemning, that teacher has taught us well. Practicing under such conditions may be the ultimate example of the slogan, “If you can practice even when distracted, you are well trained. “
In working with a spiritual friend we learn to love in an open-ended way – to love and be loved unconditionally. We’re not used to this kind of love. It’s what we all want but what we all have difficulty giving. In my case I learned how to love and be loved by watching my teacher. When I saw how unconditionally he loved other people, I began to trust that he could also love me. I saw for myself what it means to never give up on anybody.
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The above excerpt from Pema Chodron best describes my approach to being a Teacher and mentor, to giving Readings and healings at Life Path Healings. If you embrace the path of authenticity, that of a Spiritual Warrior where we tame the ego and embrace the soul, Life Path Healings is for you. If you are only looking for reassurance and comfort, all the time, this may not be the place for you.
Life Path Healings does provide affirmation, complements, reassurance and comfort, but more importantly teaches you how to provide these for your self, rather than becoming dependent on someone else to make you feel good. Life Path Healings connects you with Spirit as your Friend and Guide and from there you learn to live with your Sacred Self with acceptance, love, and with compassion for the Self when going through growin pains.
Tuesday evenings meditation @7:30-8. $40. Yucaipa California RSVP required.
Private work available by appointment only.
