14/05/2020
In the last post, I mentioned about "Inner Child Healing",
so today, let me talk about it.
If you could already move forward to understand the negative feelings calmly and objectively, after reading the last post about Yin and Yang’s rule, that would be great news to me.
Today, I like to talk about long-term staying emotions, that stay in your life for years, that affect how you live your life, so better know how to be friend with it and eventually say bye to it!
Traumas/wounded memories exist in a anyone's life path and childhood, and actually not many people realize that they actually have those in their life.
Your Inner Child is the echo of the child you once were. We each have our own history and we have all been influenced by our environment, events and the significant people around us. Our inner child has stored those memories, and their impact upon us.
So if your inner child is still wounded and crying, it it like, we have been carrying a huge baggage from our childhoods, which is very difficult to shake off.
Those inner child memories can be a trigger by accident, then if you don't understand this inner child wounds well, you might become miserable with unsortable long term negative emotion for years.
How miserable?!
Here's an example of what kind of harm, an adult can have, if the inner child is still in hurt.
・ Find your value in money, the name of status
・ Disappointed about relationships
・ Always chasing a perfect lover
・ Easy to explode emotions
・ Perfectionism, cleanliness, excessive in control desire
・ Addiction on something such as alcohol, drug, etc.
・ Extreme thoughts
· Depression
・ Eating disorder
・ Implement own ideals on children
・ Anxiety and emptiness
・ Hikikomori
・ Tends to be too enthusiastic (like being drowned in love)
All are the evils that come to fill in the lack of love that was supposed to be directed at you.
Are you in?!
No matter how selfish you are when you grow up, or if you are loved by others, you can't stop the above trends unless you face the inner child that is the foundation of your heart.
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Now let's look at how to heal the inner child.
The method is super simple!
１:【Preparation: How to find the inner child】
First, find out as much as you can about your childhood status and write it down on a paper.
This experience will hurt you! It's easy to think about it, but there are actually many hurting memories that you can't remember now.
Try to understand the situation at that time as concretely as possible by looking at photos of your childhood and asking your parents what kind of living environment they were in at that time.
By doing so, you can dig up the inner child lurking in your depth.
One of the examples is that as he/she went back to his childhood research, when he/she was a baby, he/she was abusive by his/her parents who gave birth because of unwanted pregnancy, saying, "I was spoiled for the life of this child." Some have revived their memories like that.
This is a very important process, so please keep it as detailed and documented as possible.
２:【Acknowledge the wound, feeling shocked, sadness】
When you find out those memories, please dig the situation of the time in detail.
What kind of room are you in?
Who is there?
What words are you hearing?
What kind of feelings do you have at the time?
Close your eyes, keep reminding yourself of the situation and and remember the "feelings" at the time.
Then you can see that you, the younger one, the one feeling cramped under patience, and patience,,,
It may be fragmentary like flashback.
But just continue to stay in that image.
３:【Overcome the denial process】
The process of “denial” comes after feeling the shock and sadness.
Your mind will try to obscure the facts, such as "it wasn't so bad," or to open it up with another interpretation.
But, again, it's important to realize that the fact that parents and adults forbade you to be yourself and it was the worst reality.
Let's acknowledge the situation at that time without reopening or denying.
4: 【Release your anger】
Next is the feeling of "anger".
This is a feeling that naturally springs up in response to a mental wound.
The intention or responsibility of your parents here is irrelevant.
Your parents themselves may also be adult children who are unsatisfied. It doesn't matter at all.
All you need to do is focus on the facts that have happened to you.
If you feel angry, spit it into a safe place and let it go.
It is good to talk to others about it and it is also effective to write it out on paper.
By doing so, your indigested feelings are gradually released.
The effect varies from person to person, and the inner child may be healed immediately, or it may take time.
You gotta do this repeatedly...why?
Even if you think you have digested your anger, you may feel sad or shocked again in a few days, then you might repeat it, like I experienced,,,,
Talk to the inner child through meditation.
Alternatively, you can use meditation to talk directly to the inner child.
Sit down in a chair where you can relax in a most calm and quiet room, darken the room if possible, close your eyes and remind yourself of your childhood.
Then, say "What's happening to you? Are you alright?" to the little you who is still having a hard time.
Also ask "What do you want?"
First, listen carefully to what kind of emotions the inner child has
and what they want.
And after that, talk to him/her that you are always around him/her, that he/she is safe, that he/she is loved as he/she is, and that you feel comfortable with the phrase that makes he/she feels comfortable.
Lastly,,,,
this is an image that gently hugs the inner child.
Hope it will help the process of your inner child healing!
Hugs and Kisses
