Robyn Wilson Educational Psychologist

23/09/2024

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/C4UbjHLWGh1AUrZe/?mibextid=WC7FNe

Put down the bag of worries that you are carrying forward with you into this new day.

And set down the sack of regrets that you’ve been dragging along behind you for as long as you can remember.

It is all so heavy.
And carrying it so far for so long is crushing you.

The worries are a future that may not happen and the regrets are a past that is gone.

And you are not there.
You are here, in the present.
Don’t be pulled so far backwards or forwards that you forget to live here.

Don’t be kept so paralysed by fear of the future and pieces of the past that you avoid the now.

So even if it’s only for a short while,
even if it’s only for a moment.

Put it down.
Put it all down.

*****

Becky Hemsley 2024
Artwork by Caitlin Connolly

This is a poem from my upcoming collection

28/05/2024

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/Fe47WL4d1KyuwQ5v/?mibextid=WC7FNe

Overall, good therapy is usually a supportive and collaborative relationship between the therapist and the client, where trust, empathy, communication, and skill-building are important to the healing process. While you might not always experience all the touchpoints, it's important to make sure that your therapist meets most of those points before you permanently settle with a professional so that you can get the best out of your healing.

30/04/2024

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/tfo65XJUZAN4iNFg/?mibextid=WC7FNe

High-functioning depression (HFD) is also known as Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD) and was previously known as Dysthymia. “This type of Depression is a consolidation of Chronic Major Depressive Disorder and Dysthymic Disorder. The symptoms must be present for at least two years for a diagnosis,” explains Phumzile. Phumzile Mthembu, is a clinical psychologist practicing at Netcare Akeso in Richards Bay, shedding light on high-functioning Depression to help you identify the signs in this interesting article by via the link below.

https://buff.ly/3UmDEuQ

05/11/2023

05/11/2023

16/10/2023

Pass it on

07/06/2023

There's a reason why parents of big kids shut down when their kids hit the teenage years.

There's a reason why moms stop talking to other parents at pick up lines and dads avoid people at all cost

You know that phrase little kids, little problems. Big kids, bigger problems? It is so true.

And if you are lucky enough to raise a teenager that never drank or smoked or did drugs, if you are lucky enough to have a child that never got arrested for a misdemeanor or snuck out or cheated on a test, if you are lucky enough never to feel like you were just a complete and utter failure as a parent because of the behavior of your kid despite your best efforts, consider it just that: lucky.

Because for most big kids who do something bad, it is usually not from bad parenting as much as the teen making a bad decision.

And we need to sit on that for a second.

Before we rush to judgment. Before we roll our eyes and start mentioning all the things we think those parents did wrong. Before we fill ourselves with righteous indignation.

We need to remember that it could be our kid, and how do we want people to treat us.

Sure, we need to be conscientious parents and raise our kids to the best of our abilities. Kids raised by engaged parents have the best shot at developing into productive adults.

But unless you have severely neglected, abused, or traumatized your child, we need to recognize that sometimes teenagers lose their way despite our best efforts.

Addiction can be genetic. Violence could be linked to a traumatic event not related to the parents. Stealing could be attention seeking behavior. Lying is testing boundaries. Mental health is a complex issue impacted by a wide variety of factors.

But also, teenagers have been found to be poor decision-makers if they feel pressured, stressed or are seeking attention from peers, so while with one friend a teen may say no to alcohol, at a party with peers they want to impress, they may engage in binge drinking in a spur-of-the-moment request.

Rather than blaming the parents, we need to rally around families who need support instead of pushing them further under water.

I still believe as parents we are the number one role models for our kids. I still believe that we can arm our children with information and boundaries so they grow up into productive adults.

But I also believe that most of us are trying our best and parent with the best of intentions.

I speak from experience. Sometime good kids just make bad decisions. Sometimes good kids have addictions. Sometimes good kids are hurting and don't know how to express it. Sometimes good kids cave under pressure. Sometimes good kids want to impress their peers so they do something bad.

And oftentimes these good kids come from good parents, great parents, loving parents.

There is enough guilt when it comes to parenting. Did I do too much for them? Not enough? Did I give them too much freedom? Was I too overbearing? Many parents spend the rest of their lives wondering where they went wrong when raising their kids.

So, the next time your local rumor mill starts running with the bad behavior of a child coming from a "good" family, maybe resist the urge to spread the gossip to another friend.

Instead, maybe use it as a discussion springboard with your own child.

And if you are feeling extra generous, reach out to that parent who is most likely beating themselves up for their child's behavior, the one who feels isolated, the one who is staying up all night examining every parenting decision they ever made.

Because they could use some support, too.

Love them hard.

Whitney Fleming Writes

23/05/2023

Dr. Gottman’s research shows that couples who start arguments gently are more likely to manage conflict effectively, without harming the relationship. One of the hardest things to do in a relationship is to be nice to your partner when you’re upset with them. It’s also one of the most important moments to be kind. Read more about "How to Be Kind When You’re Upset With Your Partner" here: https://bit.ly/4397oNC