02/11/2025
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What It Takes to Be a Special Needs Mama
They tell you it takes love. They don’t tell you it takes you.
Not just the appointments or the meltdowns or the endless paperwork - but you - the thousand invisible moments where you swallow your own need because theirs is louder.
The losing of yourself in the noise of everyone else’s needs.
The exhaustion that seeps into your bones like old grief.
The way you stop saying “I’m fine” and start saying nothing at all.
I know that place.
The one where the nights stretch too long,
and the mornings feel like a battle you didn’t agree to fight.
Where you pour another glass just to quiet the ache -
the guilt, the worry, the endless what now? looping in your head.
You start to fade.
Bit by bit.
Until one day, you don’t recognise the woman staring back at you.
You see tired eyes.
A woman who used to laugh differently.
A woman who’s surviving, but not living.
I know her.
I’ve been her.
And I want to tell her - you - something no one said to me soon enough:
You can’t help your child by disappearing inside their fight.
Yes - some seasons will demand every ounce of your strength.
There will be nights you go to war for your child.
There will be days you’re on your knees beside the battlefield,
too tired to even pick up your sword.
But mama - wherever you can, with whatever you have,
find a way to come back to you.
Patch yourself up.
Catch your breath.
Train for the next round.
Because the fight doesn’t end - it just changes shape.
And your child doesn’t just need you fierce -
they need you here.
Alive.
Awake.
Still able to feel sunlight on your skin.
So if tonight feels like too much -
if you’re numb, angry, drowning quietly -
please don’t make that your forever.
Start small.
A walk.
A shower.
A cry you don’t swallow.
A phone call.
A breath that’s just for you.
You’re allowed to rebuild.
You’re allowed to want more than survival.
You’re allowed to come back to life.
You’ve already done the hardest part - you’ve stayed.
You’ve fought.
You’ve climbed.
Now it’s time to rise again -
not just for them, but for you.
—
For every mama who’s in the fight of her life - this is for you. ❤️
- Christine | Special Soul Mama
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