23/04/2023
😴 Sleep regressions 😴
Your baby has been sleeping through, or if not, at least been sleeping reasonably. Suddenly your baby wakes a million and one times at night or refuses naps. You think it might be teething, or they must be hungry. Maybe it’s just a sleep regression.
😴What is a sleep regression?😴
A sleep regression is a period when a baby or toddler that has been sleeping reasonably well suddenly starts waking a lot more at night. They might have shorter naps or even resist the nap and skip it altogether.
😴Why do sleep regressions happen?😴
Your baby’s brain is a sponge, soaking in new information and skills. This can keep your baby’s brain busy, and they struggle to sleep like they used to. They might be processing and practicing these skills. This is especially true if they are at certain ages where certain milestones commonly occur. Read more on The Wonder Weeks at: https://www.facebook.com/1442008255941830/posts/1515805105228811/?extid=Z8IqPFiyD7eP9p3P&d=n
Pair this developmental growth with growth spurts, teething, disruptions in routine or illness, and you, as parents, are in a world of pain.
😴So it’s not technically a regression?😴
No, not really. It might be a regression in their sleep, but developmentally it’s a “progression.” The total opposite.
😴Do all babies go through sleep regressions?😴
Nope. Some parents are lucky, and their babies sail through their developmental leaps. Some babies have sleep regressions at every milestone.
😴What are the signs of a sleep regression?😴
⚡️Frequent night wakings
⚡️Resisting naps
⚡️Shorter naps
⚡️Increased fussiness or crying
⚡️More clingy than usual
⚡️Trouble falling asleep
⚡️They might try to crawl or roll in their sleep.
⚡️Change in appetite
😴When does this occur?😴
This is not the same for every baby.
My two kids didn’t experience sleep regressions at the same age, and some were worse than others.
Some babies sleep poorly with every wonder week. However, there are ages that sleep regressions are more common. They are:
🌪4 months🌪
Ahhh, the 4-month sleep regression. This is a very common one. It was absolute hell for us with my first baby. She literally woke EVERY 45 minutes.
The 4-month sleep regression occurs because your baby’s sleeping patterns change into adult sleeping patterns. Before 4 months, babies spend more time in the deep-sleep cycle while sleeping. This is why newborns can sleep through everything, like the loudest noises and movements. After 4 months, your baby’s sleep cycles through 4 sleep stages. They cycle through light and deep sleep more often, like adults, spending more time in the light sleep cycle. This is a permanent change. They might wake every time they go into a light sleep cycle and struggle to get back to sleep to get into the deep sleep cycle.
This is usually a really tough sleep regression because it is the first one. This is also when most women’s maternity leave is finishing, and they return to work. The lack of sleep and the new routine is tough.
🌪8-10 months🌪
This sleep regression is mostly due to the developmental milestones occurring at this age. They learn many things, like crawling, cruising, and pulling themselves up. They also start understanding words. Separation anxiety might also kick in. Read more on separation anxiety here: https://www.facebook.com/1442008255941830/posts/1467693970039925/?extid=YCgAk1tStXKv8py3&d=n
Pair that with some teething commonly occurring at this stage, and you have a lovely combination of poor sleeping.
🌪12 months🌪
This regression usually occurs because their little brain processes the steps and skills to learn to walk soon.
🌪18 months🌪
This is a tough one! Your little one is learning to make words and start talking. Their little brain might not be able to switch off. Some toddlers learn a word a day from this age onwards; their poor little minds. They are also more independent, can move, and tell you they don’t want to sleep anymore. Separation anxiety can also wreak havoc on their sleep at this stage.
They might also be close to cutting molars, and their itchy gums might also keep them awake.
🌪2 years🌪
Your 2-year-old is going through a lot now. They are walking, talking, little independent, tantrum-throwing toddlers. They are learning they have an opinion, and they can air it just when they want to.
They are also learning to potty train, transitioning to a big-boy/girl bed, or might even get a little sister or brother.
They are also prone to start getting nightmares and night terrors. They might begin to develop a fear of the dark.
😴How long does this last?😴
Again, this is different for every baby. It might last anything from 1 – 6 weeks. Some days might be better than others.
😴How to cope?😴
Now that you know why sleep regressions happen, you have to understand you can’t do much other than support them and help them through it. It won’t last forever.
🛏Stick to a consistent bedtime routine every night. This is true not only during sleep regressions. Your child should be able to predict what will happen next. Our routine is dinner, bath, bedtime story, song, and sleep.
🛏Make sure you don’t create bad sleep associations that weren’t there before. Whatever you do to make your child sleep is up to you. If you are happy with what you are doing, continue. If you have been rocking your baby to sleep, stopping it now will make it worse. This is not the time to start sleep training. They will wake anyway. If your baby is sleep trained or you have taught them good sleep associations, ensure you don’t create other poor sleep associations.
🛏If your baby is not settling, try to offer a feed, especially the younger they are. Growth spurts might also occur where your baby might need a little more calories to grow at that time. If they have started rolling, crawling, or walking, this takes an enormous amount of energy, so they might need more calories. Ensure you take the baby out of bed and give them the bottle/feed. A sleeping baby with a bottle in the cot/bed is just a recipe for tooth decay.
🛒Do not give your baby food (purees/meal) at night. After 1 year, a child nutritionally does not need food at night. If you choose to give milk at night still and want to wean them off, read more here: https://www.facebook.com/1442008255941830/posts/1455464194596236/?extid=b3YhGjUPmtOQmZf6&d=n
🛏Offer comfort. Your baby is going through a lot. They might need a bit of comfort and reassurance that you are still there and helping them through it.
🛏If your baby was weaned off the dummy before the sleep regression, you know they can sleep well without it. Don’t introduce the dummy again.
🛏For naps, ensure the bedroom is as dark as possible. Dark, block-out curtains are a winner here. If your baby is going into a light sleep cycle, and the room is bright, it might wake them. For an older toddler, a night light might be a good idea if they fear the dark or have nightmares.
🛏Give them time during the day to practice their skills. Let them play and practice rolling, sitting, walking, etc. Don’t limit their movement by putting them in jolly jumpers and walking rings. They don’t get any time to learn how their muscles and bodies work by being in these.
🛏Get help. You probably won’t be able to cope with the lack of sleep by attending to your baby alone. Your partner will have to do their part and help with night wakings. If you are a single parent, ask for help from family/friends to help you out one night to get proper rest, even if it’s just for a few hours.
🛏Try using white noise. Both my kids have been sleeping with white noise since birth.
Not only does it cancel out the background noise in the house, but it also creates a positive sleep association. They associate white noise with falling asleep, so if they wake up at night and hear the white noise, they might fall asleep more easily. It also mimics womb sounds. There are many white noise apps, white noise machines, or even just an out-of-tune radio will work.
🛏Give your baby a few moments to self-settle. Don’t jump up at the slightest peep. Allow them to try and settle themselves. If they are crying, go and offer comfort. NEVER let a baby cry themselves to sleep. The rise in the stress hormone cortisol, has been shown in research to harm brain growth when babies are left to cry for long periods. I do not recommend the crying-it-out method for sleep training at all; there are much gentler ways to teach self-soothing and good sleep associations.
🛏Suppose your baby skips their nap or has a shorter nap. In that case, they will probably be exhausted earlier than their usual bedtime. Put them to bed earlier. Trying to keep your baby up longer to ensure they are more tired and hope that they will sleep better never works. Good sleep begets good sleep.
🛏During the 4-month sleep regression, if your baby is not rolling yet, swaddle them. Read more on swaddling here: https://www.facebook.com/1442008255941830/posts/1465384720270850/?extid=pVnlkjlfBlLdxe0R&d=n
🛏A weighted sleep sack is a great idea for smaller babies. Weighted blankets might help older kids sleep better as well. Still, it should ideally be done with advice from an occupational therapist since your child needs to learn to self-regulate eventually. Never put a loose blanket in the cot. Always practice safe sleeping guidelines. Read more on it here: https://www.facebook.com/1442008255941830/posts/1483687108440611/?extid=n1Yi1wQ5qIpBdwR9&d=n
🛏Ensure you provide a safe sleep space for your baby: https://www.facebook.com/1442008255941830/posts/1678447118964608/?extid=LE84r5jLq3ImnX5p&d=n
🛏If you have tried everything and your baby is still sleeping poorly, follow your gut and take them to your healthcare provider for a check-up. They might be ill.
🛏Get good reading material. Get yourself credible books on parenting. My parenting bibles with excellent sleep and developmental guidelines are Baby Sense and Sleep Sense from Meg Faure and The Wonder Weeks.
😴What about giving them medications to sleep better?😴
NOT OKAY. UNLESS prescribed by your doctor/paediatrician for specific conditions. This will also be for the short term anyway. When it comes to medications for kids, less is always better, even more so when it comes to medications to help your child sleep.
Some parents have killed a child with medications to make them sleep. Just don’t do it unless directed by a healthcare professional. Even if you don’t mean harm with it, sedating someone without medical direction is not okay. The most significant risks are overdose or adverse reactions.
Ever heard adults saying they drink sleeping tablets, and now they can’t sleep without them? If you give your baby/child medications to sleep, they will never learn the skills to sleep without them. You are depriving them of learning this. Never mind all the nasty side effects.
Antihistamines like Vallergan, Phenergan, and Allergex are sedative medications. They should never be used without directions from your doctor. They should ideally not be used under 2 years anyway. They may also cause hyperactivity and problematic behaviour during the day.
Melatonin is a hormone produced in your brain when it gets dark at night and helps you fall asleep. This medication has been proven in research to help with sleep problems in certain conditions. A doctor will prescribe melatonin for your child in conjunction with good sleep habits. Always use this under your doctor's direction, as this also has side effects.
Herbal/”natural” products have not been shown in research to work. They also have side effects as they are usually not tested to be safe in children.
There is absolutely no scientific research to show that essential oils are directly responsible for improving sleep. Few studies have proven no difference in sleep quality or quantity. Lavender oil has been proven to have a relaxing effect, but this does not always equal sleep. If you insist on using this in a diffuser, always ensure adequate ventilation in the room or area. Always avoid use in babies below 3 months. Also, never apply undiluted oils on your baby’s skin, and they should never be ingested.
Instead, introduce your child to healthier sleep habits and have proper expectations regarding your baby’s sleep. Medication should never substitute parenting, no matter how tired or desperate you are. See your doctor so you can make a plan forward together.
Sleeping through is a milestone like crawling, walking, or potty training. You cannot force your baby into it or make it happen sooner. You can teach them skills they can use to sleep better at night and create a good bedtime routine, but in the end, you can’t force them into it.
Pic by Michal Bar Heim on Unsplash.
