10/11/2025
When “fitting in” is the mask you wear. Autism and Masking...
Have you ever met someone, or felt like you might be that person, who appears socially fluent, warm, adaptable, yet carries an almost indescribable sense of experiencing the world in a slightly different way? Not unusual, not odd, simply uniquely wired in a way that is hard to put into words.
Sometimes that quiet uniqueness comes with an unseen weight, the years of high masking autism.
What is high-masking autism?
This is when an autistic adult uses conscious or unconscious strategies to hide or suppress their autistic traits, imitating social behaviours, mirroring others, forcing eye-contact, controlling stimming, and generally moulding themselves into what the neurotypical world expects.
Some striking stats:
* Studies show that people who mask more report higher levels of anxiety and depression, and feel more disconnected from their true self.
* Masking is more frequently reported among autistic females than males, making diagnosis and support even harder to access.
* While about 1 in 31 children (3.2%) are identified with autism in the U.S. such differences in presentation (like high-masking) suggest many adults are undetected.
Why does someone mask so extensively?
From a clinical perspective, masking can be seen as a coping strategy in a world built for neurotypicals, an attempt to access friendships, work, acceptance, safety.
But this adaptation comes at a cost: constant self-monitoring, suppression of natural responses, and emotional exhaustion, often leading to burnout.
⚠️ The psychological cost is real
* People who mask heavily describe chronic fatigue, burnout, and reduced sense of identity.
* Masking has been linked with higher risk of suicidal thoughts in autistic adults.
* Because the outer appearance is often “successful”, the inner distress is overlooked, leading to delayed diagnosis or misdiagnosis.
Some things you can do, whether you’re masking or supporting someone who is;
* Recognise the signs: perfectionism in social settings, “why am I so tired after being fine all day?”, feeling like you’re an actor in your own life.
* Validate the experience: “It makes sense you’re drained; what you’re doing takes energy.”
* Offer or seek professional help that understands neurodiversity, not trying to “fix” autistic traits but supporting authentic living and reducing harmful masking.
* Encourage “unmasking” moments in safe spaces: hobbies that feel natural, letting stim behaviours happen, being with people who accept you as you are.
* For the workplace or home: Create environments where authenticity is valued, and small differences are seen as strengths.
So how do psychologists at the Spectrum Centre detect autism in high masking?
Our specialist clinicians, with years of experience and neurodiversity expertise, look beneath the surface. We use detailed interviews, developmental history, structured autism assessments, and careful observation across multiple settings.
We listen for the quiet clues that are often missed, such as lifelong social exhaustion, intense internal preparation before conversations, sensory overwhelm that gets hidden, or a history of feeling out of sync with peers even when appearing socially capable.
We explore how much energy it takes to function, what someone does to fit in, and what happens when they no longer have the strength to perform. We take the full person into account so the assessment is never only about what others see, but what the individual experiences.
For many people, receiving an accurate diagnosis feels like finally being understood. It gives language to a lifetime of masking, relief from self-blame, and a pathway to support that honours their authentic way of being.
If you see yourself in this and would like guidance, reach out. You deserve a space where you can begin to unmask safely, reconnect with your true identity, and be supported for who you are.
Click here to book an appointment: clientportal.zandahealth.com/clientportal/spectrumcentre
🌐 https://spectrumcentre.co.za/
📧 hello@spectrumcentre.co.za
We specialise in Adult Autism diagnosis and long term therapy. The Diagnosis is conducted over 2 sessions by one of our Autism (Neurodiversity) Specialist Psychologists. The diagnosis process consists of a Clinical Interview based on the diagnostic criteria of ASD Autism Spectrum Disorder as specifi...
