Mindset Activate - Powerful Personal Growth

01/12/2025

Couples Massage - does it always bring you closer?

I chatted with a fellow massage therapist recently, exchanging thoughts and experiences, and one topic we covered was Couples massage.

He has been doing 4 hands 2 therapist couples massage with a female partner for many years and he mentioned that most of the time, each member of the couple is having a completely separate experience, even while lying there in the same room with their partner.

I can definitely see the value of this - but in my massage and somatic bodywork, I really emphasise the therapeutic aspect. And in my opinion, when a couple comes for a massage, it's such an amazing opportunity to bring them through a beautiful experience together and get them more closely connected and on the same wavelength.

For this reason, when I am working with a couple, I absolutely love working alone and creating one unified and shared experience for the two people to enjoy together.
I put the two of them together on my massage bed, and do a simultaneous mirrored and semi-interactive massage, just me with the two people who love one another.

I did such an incredibly beautiful couples session with an amazing couple recently, and it really reminded me of the magic of this kind of beautiful approach. I am tuning in to both bodies and nourishing and supporting their connection - something I see as a sacred gift.

Love needs all the nurturing and support it can get, in this crazy world. So if you have been thinking about a special and connected experience, and the idea of a semi-interactive Loving Touch sensual massage with your partner sounds wonderful to you - please reach out to me for an appointment. I would be honoured to support that special loving relationship.

Same-sex couples are also most welcome. And there is no upper age limit to enjoy and benefit from this really special experience.

My massage therapy practice is under "Doctor Rose 🌹" and you can get hold of me on WhatsApp +27602055142 for an appointment.

You can also direct message me on Facebook - I am slower to respond there but will get back to you ASAP.

Sending love, support and encouragement to anyone out there who needs it today 🥰

28/11/2025

Let's talk about boundaries - and the fawn response to trauma.

Fight, flight or freeze are the most common danger or trauma responses that are cited, but both with social animals and with humans, a more common response may be the other "F" - Fawning.

What does that look like?
In animals, you will notice one lie on its back, exposing its belly and possibly even licking the throat or mouth of the aggressor.
Humans under extreme duress or in danger do something similar, "making nice" and being friendly, perhaps even allowing behaviours that are in fact violations, just to keep the peace and to try to keep safe.

The fawn response is a survival mechanism which often develops in people who have experienced repeated violations, abuse, or unsafe environments. The nervous system learns that resistance may increase danger, so appeasement feels safer. It is common amongst people who have been abused or traumatised as children or in a traumatic adult relationship.

Bullies and manipulators are very good at triggering this response - using guilt trips, authority, coercion or false promises of trustworthiness to get their victim to do what they want.

They may also use language that invalidates others' boundaries to make it seem like the person laying down or defending their boundary is being unkind, unreasonable or even downright stupid. This reframing of the other's boundary as selfish or unfair places enormous pressure on a sensitive individual. Unfortunately for the victim, it is often successful in bulldozing their values and boundaries. The victim may find themselves in a situation not of their choosing where they are deeply unhappy and feel violated afterwards.

The biggest problem with this type of boundary violation is that in addition to the actual experience, the victim is often left with survivor's guilt. Fawning responses like smiling, laughing, trying to keep things “light,” or agreeing to small concessions in the moment even when uncomfortable—these are ways of minimizing perceived threat which also leave behind awful emotional and mental aftereffects.

It’s crucial to emphasize: fawning is not consent. It is a trauma-driven survival strategy, just like freezing. Responsibility lies entirely with the person who ignored boundaries and applied pressure.

I asked AI for an opinion on this topic too, and I really like what it had to say:

"The fawn response is not weakness—it’s survival. The guilt and shame that follow are misplaced burdens survivors carry because their boundaries weren’t respected. Healing involves reframing fawning as a trauma response, not complicity, and building tools to enforce boundaries without self-blame."

Having recently been bullied by someone when I was "being Rose," a loving therapist with a wide open heart, reminded me what so many women face on a regular basis. And women are not the only ones who get bullied and who may have cause to fawn. Men may struggle just as much with guilt, because they may feel they should have been stronger.

Self-compassion is the best starting point when dealing with the aftermath of this kind of experience. Giving yourself love and comfort - and taking comfort from others too wherever that may be available to you. It could be therapy, it could be a supportive friend, it could be a wonderful book or poem or YouTube video which helps you come back to a feeling of wellbeing within yourself. Whatever way you do it, find your way back there.

And of course, finding ways of protecting your wellbeing in future are super important. Without guilt or feeling bad - simply becoming aware of how that person managed to manipulate you and forming a strategy to handle or prevent something similar in future.

If you have been struggling with something similar to this, know you are not alone. Even the biggest, toughest and strongest people have their achilles heel, their vulnerability to pressure, manipulation or coercion. It's part of being human, We can't wave a magic wand and make all the bullies in the world disappear. These kind of threats and situations are bound to come up in everyone's life at one time or another.

How we choose to recover from such an experience and move forward in a positive way, is what is within our power and control. And it is what can make life a more meaningful and beautiful journey.

Sending love to anyone who needs it today 🌹

xx

PS if you are looking for a little support from my "Doctor Rose" somatic bodywork and massage therapy, feel free to WhatsApp me on +27602055142

26/11/2025

Did you know that "Doctor Rose Tremaine" is the professional figurehead for my somatic bodywork and massage therapy offering?

Although I love working with guided meditation and hypnotherapy, the universal language of loving touch is such a healing modality and transcends language barriers and other kinds of communication issues.

Facebook has currently suspended my Doctor Rose Tremaine profile so I am unable to support my beloved followers with inspiration there. This has made me decide to integrate with Mindset Activate so hopefully people who need me will be able to find me.

Sending love to all the hearts that need it 🌹

16/11/2025

Learning through joy and pleasure.
Doesn't it seem so much more enticing than learning through pain and suffering?

And even though it makes so much more sense to pursue or simply welcome learning through enjoyable means, part of us still keeps believing the lie, “No Pain , no gain.”

Now of course, saying this, I don't deny that some discomfort and suffering is inevitable in life. There's no way to bypass or avoid having some painful experiences in this life. And of course we may well learn valuable lessons from those experiences. But to believe or to live as if this were the only way of taking onboard the important learning we need as human beings, is a mistake.

Be with your joy. Listen to your body. Feel. Follow the path of lightness and love 🥰

Success isn’t a destination at the end of your journey. It’s happening right now, every day, and it’s measured by your quality of life.

28/08/2025

The benefits of retaining a beginner mind have been espoused by much wiser people than me. I am just grateful for the sense of play and energy and freedom that such a mindset gives me. I haev no pressure to be good at something. I can laugh at my mistakes. I can get smacked in the face, have a chuckle and go back to practicing basics - a habit that translates so well into coping when other aspects of life smack us in the face.
A healthy mindset can be achievement oriented without being self-critical. Honour - and enjoy - the journey.

Being willing to make mistakes or look foolish without letting it knock our sense of self worth is one of the most useful mindsets to cultivate. This allows...

06/08/2025

Whether we do it for our mental health,
or for our career success;
whether we do it for our physical wellbeing
or to enhance our creative output;
whether we do it to grow a loving intimate relationship
or to discover our passion or vocation in life:

Now, more than ever, is the time to appreciate, even cherish, our unique human-ness; everything that makes us just slightly imperfect, unusual, off-beat, wacky, special, wonky...

Loving and not fighting those will lead us to the fullest and richest experience of being alive.

xx

19/07/2025

It's so much easier to keep a positive mindset when we stay physically healthy/ It really supports one's mental health and wellbeing.

Here's a fascinating insight with solid scientific backup. on how infra-red light helps keep our mitochondria functioning well.

The mitochondria are known as the powerhouse of the cell, and are present in most of the cells in our bodies. They keep our organs healthy and our overall physical energy at optimum levels - when healthy.

The positive effects of healthy mitochondria are beneficial throughout the body, and especially noticeable in better mood and overall energy 😀

19 seconds · Clipped by View through my window · Original video "Vitamin D Expert: The Fastest Way To Dementia & The Dangerous Lie You've Been Told About Sun...

28/06/2025

Even though this talk was given 8 years ago, it's as valid today as it was then. Really worth a listen to the end.

Love? Marriage? S*x? Can a married couple have all three? Perhaps it’s unrealistic since so many marriages end in divorce today. Why is that? One reason migh...

07/06/2025

Saraloosa Farm is one of the places where I was able to do a tremendous amount of inner work and learning. Far off the beaten track in quaint Tesselaarsdal, the simple lifestyle and organic nature of the volunteer work helping care for the animals, gave me mental space and clarity to process some of what needed to be processed, release some of what needed to be released, and further develop my deep connection to the spirit nature of everything in existence.

The horses and the dogs in particular were wonderful teachers for me of things that we might usually think of as essentially Human. Chief among them was *non-verbal communication.*

I came to the horses with my only background being the story of Buck Brannaman, the real-life inspiration for the character of Tom Booker in Nicholas Evans's novel "The Horse Whisperer" and the film adaptation of the same name. He developed a unique approach to horsemanship based on empathy and understanding, which transformed troubled horses and, often, their owners. My understanding that managing my own emotional state rather than trying to control the horse's, allowed me to have many magical times with Liezl's beautiful animals.

The same, I discovered, was true with the dogs, many of whom Liezl has rescued and brought to live on her farm, Some of them have been through severe trauma or abandonment before coming to this special place.

Because I was able to be so deeply at peace with and in touch with myself, I found myself holding an "energy bubble" with certain dogs who were particularly drawn to me. They followed me on walks around the farm and while I was at work doing the "Chop wood, carry water" part of life which is so essential to physical and spiritual health.

On one of the most extraordinary occasions, I had taken a walk into a quadrant of the farm where there were not usually smaller farm animals that aroused the hunting instinct of certain of the fiercest dogs - several of whom were my regular companions. I spent a couple of hours working on carrying rocks and building a rock pool for wintertime, and then on our walk back to the main house, suddenly around the corner, we came unexpectedly on the horses and goats, with 3 tiny baby kids bleating vulnerably around their mothers.

This kind of confrontation was known to result in the maiming or death of a small animal, an event I had personally witnessed several times on the farm as primal nature took control.

There was a split second which lasted an eternity - that pause where a person can take control of their thoughts, their choices, and the outcome in the moment.

And then I stepped into Calm, exactly the way I do when taking someone into a deep guided meditation or an hypnotic trance. I connected deeply with Divine Peace and with Purpose, and my walk continued without the slightest hitch.

And those fierce hunters next to me walked right through the horses and baby goats with me, calm, at peace and intent on the shared purpose with me.

Not a word was spoken, there were no ropes or leads to restrain or direct them. There was only the shared energy bubble, which I held surrounding and embracing all of the animals around me like the imaginary orb of energy one holds and moves with in a discipline like Tai Chi or Chi Gong.

And the power and peace and calm almost brought me to tears, it was so beautiful and magical.

And that power and beauty and calm is available to all of us, each and every one, if we cultivate our personal mindfulness practices and nourish our inner being.

That is not magic - it is the essence of Life, when we strip away the unimportant.

It is and and wonderful and and and