09/07/2021
A little bit about Josie lately...
Being in hospital with Covid was a scary, lonely and painful experience. I was as happy as Larry living my best life. Fit, healthy and inspired, I woke up one morning with a sore throat from hell, and by the next day I was in the ICU at the Kingsbury Hospital struggling with a bad bout of Covid. I lay in isolation struggling to breath and struggling to understand what on earth was happening to me.
I had a dreadful feeling of isolation. The only human contact being with a nurse who was dressed like an astronaut wielding a large syringe and pressing buttons on noisy beeping machines. I was panicky and longed for the people I was closest to to come and save me. I had been disconnected, and my nearest and dearest felt the furthest away of anybody.
It was terrifying to have no control of my body or breath. I was powerless. Being a Yoga teacher the advice that I gave myself as I lay there was to surrender to the situation. (Itβs a common theme for us Yogis). Truthfully, I did try! But somewhere sitting in the cheap seats at the back of my mind there was the fear that if I let go, I would die, and as tempting as this seemed at the time, I was not totally convinced as to what would be waiting for me on the other side. The Morphine had given me some outrageously sinister visions and I was bloody terrified to go to sleep let alone βsurrenderβ.
I was in hospital for 11 days. I have now been out for 4 weeks. I donβt recognize myself. Breathing is hard work. I shake, I'm exhausted with a racing heart, headaches and dodgy throat. HOWEVER,β¦β¦β¦β¦β¦ (and I may have lost sight of this for a while), EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING.
As time goes by and I start to get stronger, I look back and can see clearly that I was never falling into nothing. My wonderful friends were there to catch me. Also, I received a ton of kind messages. I really had no idea so many people cared. I was never alone after all. It seems everything was perfectly under control, just not in my control.
Now I am adjusting to a new version of me. I was passionate about teaching yoga before, and I am even more so now. This experience has given renewed intensity and meaning to my teaching and greater reverence for our life-giving breath. I understand that the meaning of life is not what happens to people but what happens between people.
If something similar has happened to you and maybe you feel alone and depressed, I am always available to connect with you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!
Much love,
Josie.