28/05/2025
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Why Your Emotional Life Matters
When our children are young, the way we touch them - gentle or rough, our tone of voice - calm or harsh, our emotional state - centered or tense, plays a huge role in our childβs emotional connection with us and themselves and this wires their brain. Your child needs your calm presence as this helps build circuits in their brain for:
* A secure attachment and emotional safety - This is the most basic, primary needs of all children. Without emotional safety, children will be in survival mode and thus living within a nervous system that is constantly in the sympathetic state. A secure attachment helps a child know that they are loved, that they matter and that they are safe. Without it, they may lack confidence, self-worth, and a strong inner compass.
* Self-regulation - staying calm and recovering from being upset
* Empathy and social connection - being able to put themselves in someone elseβs shoes. Also interest in connecting with others socially
* Executive function - building skills for attention, memory, impulse control
Did you know that when you respond with warmth, consistency, and calm, you are literally helping your childβs brain grow the pathways that will serve them for a lifetime.
These are important reasons why we must take care of our own emotional life. We need to tend to our needs even if it only happens in small ways. Here are some quick tips.
- Pause several times during the day to check in with yourself and how you are feeling. Even if itβs only for a minute or two you are worth it!
- When a moment in your day feels intense, try this simple reset; Inhale for 4 β Hold for 4 β Exhale through your mouth for 4. Itβs amazing how just one or two slow breaths can shift your whole nervous system.
- Give yourself permission to not do it all. Choose one thing each day to release or simplify.
- Create a tiny ritual like lighting a candle, or drinking your tea slowly, or stepping outside for a couple of minutes. Find ways to anchor yourself while offering yourself moments of peace.
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