25/10/2025
Defiance isn’t defiance…
So often- it’s deep distress.
I see this again and again in the children I work with.
And I have lived it in my own home.
After my cancer diagnosis, when uncertainty sat like a stone in our house, I remember taking what looked like endless ‘flack’ from one of my kids. It was sharp. It felt relentless.
Thing is, it was personal.
It wasn’t rebellion.
It wasn’t defiance…
It was a child who had no capacity to process a world that suddenly felt like it was collapsing- struggling to find the words to communicate it…
It was a child in pain.
Beneath the behaviour was a child in distress.
A child who didn’t need to be judged or punished,
But who needed an adult who could understand…
If you’ve ever felt helpless in the face of a child’s meltdown, shutdown, or sudden change - this is for you.
Here’s what most adults miss:
Children don’t “act out” for attention.
They act out for connection.
Silence after a raised voice.
Tears over “nothing.”
Laughter when the timing feels wrong.
These aren’t behavioural problems - they’re nervous system alarms.
And when we don’t know how to decode them, we risk doing what every generation before us did:
punishing pain instead of understanding it.
That’s why this work can’t wait.
Because the cost of not learning the language of trauma isn’t measured in missed lessons - it’s measured in lost trust.
In Safe Again, we’ll explore how trauma speaks through behaviour - and how to respond in ways that restore safety instead of fear.
You’ll leave knowing exactly how to meet a child where words can’t.
🫶🏽 Dates: October 28 or 29
🫶🏽 Place: Online, on Zoom (with replay access)
🫶🏽 Investment: $77 / R1200 (PayPal and Payfast options available at checkout)
👇 Link below for the full workshop details!
https://naomiholdt.com/safe-again-trauma-healing/
Because every child deserves at least one adult who knows how to listen differently.
With love,
Naomi ❤️
