Mounties EMS

25/12/2025

To All Followers

We wish you a blessed Christmas.

Keep SAFE and Healthy!

20/12/2025

🚑 𝙁𝙍𝙄𝘿𝘼𝙔 𝘼𝙁𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙉𝙊𝙊𝙉 𝙊𝙉 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙉2: 𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙉 “𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝘾𝘼𝙇𝙇” 𝘽𝙀𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙀𝙎 𝙑𝙀𝙍𝙔 𝙈𝙐𝘾𝙃 𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝘾𝘼𝙇𝙇

👉 “𝘐𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴 ‘𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭’… 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳.”

Friday. Around 13:20. The emergency group lights up for a motorbike and light motor vehicle head-on in Richards Bay. A few seconds later the update comes in
"Ambulance service already on scene"
Lekker. Crisis averted. Feet up.

Just after 14:00 the phone rings again.
“Did you hear about the accident?”
Ja, bru… but then comes the upgrade: N2, four vehicles involved.

Eish. Shoes on. Uniform on. This one’s alive.
Lights on. Sirens singing. We roll. At Fiveways the traffic lights are red for us and suddenly it means “speed up because the ambulance is in your way - blocking the right of way.”
We squeeze through safely, tyres squeal, traction disappears, smoke drifts past the window. Nothing like a little Friday afternoon burnout you didn’t ask for.

At the R34 / N2 intersection, it’s not Friday anymore - it’s Sunday afternoon scenic mode. Sirens wailing, lights flashing, and traffic cruising like they’re off to buy boerewors. Eventually we break free… and once we hit the N2, we take off like a Learjet on a runway.

From there it’s weaving through traffic like a rugby match - no time to blink, picking gaps, dodging defenders, heading straight for the goal posts.

Just before reaching the scene, we spot red emergency lights ahead.
Hold on! that’s not the scene. Let's keep going!
That’s emergency vehicles stuck in traffic, sirens on, lights flashing… and still nobody making way. Eish.

Then the road opens and yoh. Not prepared for this one.
Vehicles folded like tin cans. A bakkie crushed. Another wedged. Rescue tools everywhere. Fire, EMS, traffic, SAPS - controlled chaos. Calm professionals doing hard work on a bad day.
______________________________________________________________________
𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐃
Preliminary information indicates that one LDV allegedly overtook another vehicle into oncoming traffic. It collided with an LDV carrying 12 occupants. As control was lost, a third LDV collided head-on with the overtaking vehicle, which was then rear-ended by a fourth LDV.
All of this happened on a straight stretch of road.
_______________________________________________________________________
Patients were spread across the scene. Some already loaded into ambulances.
Others trapped.
Radios buzzing.
Updates flying.
One side of the scene strangely calm… the other heavy. Rescue teams got to work, metal moved, and time stretched.

Hospitals were alerted. Equipment lined up. “No time to waste” became the unspoken rule. We moved fast because sometimes fast is the only thing left to give.
Despite best efforts, protocols followed, and teamwork firing on all cylinders, the scene delivered a hard reminder: not every battle is winnable.

Initially, three fatalities were confirmed on scene. As operations continued, the entrapped driver suffered cardiac arrest just before transport. Despite resuscitation efforts, he could not be saved.

Later, the critically injured passenger did not make it to hospital.

Five lives lost. Not numbers. People.

When the last patient was moved, the weight set in. Counting injuries on fingers because your brain is tired.
Eighteen… no,
nineteen. One missing.
Found. Confirmed.
Final tally aligned across services.

Clean-up followed. Oil covered. Vehicles recovered. The road slowly reopened - the traffic backed up from Kwambo to Canefields and beyond. Only in SA can a 30km jam feel personal.

Hours later, we roll back. Quiet. No jokes now. Just that look between crews that says, “We did everything we could.”

To every service on scene — fire, EMS, traffic, SAPS — respect.

𝑻𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒄: 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓, 𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.

Slow down. Make space.

🚨 𝓔𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓬𝔂 𝓿𝓮𝓱𝓲𝓬𝓵𝓮𝓼 𝓬𝓪𝓷’𝓽 𝓼𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓼 𝓲𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓬𝓪𝓷’𝓽 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱.

Stay safe. Stay patient. Look after each other. 🚑💛

16/12/2025

🚑 PUBLIC HOLIDAY: COUNTRY ON CHILL… EMS ON HARD MODE

While most of Mzansi woke up on 16 December dreaming of braais, beach towels and absolutely no alarms, one phone chose violence.
That phone doesn’t ring to say howzit — it rings to say get up, bru, someone’s worst day just clocked in.

First call: declaration. Brain still buffering, coffee still a fantasy.
Second call lands before the kettle even thinks about boiling: “Big accident. Multiple vehicles. Possible entrapments.”
Public holiday or not — red emergency lights on, and the ambulance goes into low-flying mode. When the N2 is empty, you don’t waste the blessing.

Arriving on scene was one of those moments where your eyes understand before your brain catches up.

Vehicles folded like they lost an argument with physics.
Debris scattered across the road like the car exploded its own spare-parts catalogue.
Down the embankment lay a timber truck on its side, the load pulling the trailer over, a Telkom pole taken out clean — yet the lines still hanging. Stronger than most relationships.

Scene update: two entrapments, multiple injured.
Then comes the moment that makes you pause.

And then… a camping chair.
At an accident scene.
Not for spectating — nope, it came with its own patient.

She was seated calmly, processing life choices, and when asked how she was feeling, she looked up and asked:
“Do you have a Panado?”

We explained that ambulances don’t really carry headache tablets. Without missing a beat, she pointed to her vehicle and said there’s a container in the door with Panado inside. Cool, calm, collected.

Small detail: her leg was broken again.

Pain scale? Apparently “Panado will sort it.” She thinks.
She was stabilised, given proper analgesia (sorry Panado), and transported — floating high enough to forget both the camping chair and the DIY pharmacy suggestion.

One vehicle had taken a direct hit from reality. The front end was gone — not damaged, gone. A wheel with suspension components lay meters away, having resigned from the vehicle mid-impact. Sadly, the driver sustained fatal injuries during the collision. A hard reminder that sometimes there are no second chances. Respect always.

Another driver was seriously entrapped, metal wrapped tight, access limited. Advanced care on scene, steady hands, calm voices — this is where training steps up and panic gets told to wait outside.

Down the slope, an LDV had considered joining the chaos, then decided halfway through to just… park on the embankment. Driver shaken, but unharmed. Luck is a strange thing.

Despite the destruction, there was an odd calm. Even the rent-a-crowd — those professional bystanders who usually arrive before the ambulances — had clearly taken the public holiday off. No phones in faces, no roadside experts, no extra delays. Just emergency services, tow trucks, and the rare luxury of space to do the job properly.

Then comes the part that’s not just today’s problem.
Hospitals now want medical aid status confirmed before accepting patients.
Yes.
On scene.
While patients are injured.
While crews are stabilising, extricating and managing chaos — we’re also expected to negotiate co-payments like it’s a mall kiosk special. And once you arrive? More admin. Because paperwork, apparently, saves lives faster.

So what happened on this Tuesday morning?
One risky overtake.
One moment of “I’ll make it.”
And a chain reaction nobody ordered.

Public holiday or not — accidents don’t check calendars.
Drive sharp. Be patient.

🚑 While you’re on chill mode, someone else is always on duty.

08/12/2025

🚑 MONDAY: PARAMEDICS NEED TO START THE VEHICLES!! ☕💔

The coffee wasn’t even lukewarm before disaster struck.

There I was… arriving at the office, holding fresh warm first cup of Monday coffee — the one that decides whether you’ll be productive or a public hazard.

Then WhatsApp sings its cursed little ringtone.
Voice note plays.
“N2 near Kwambo… serious accident… urgently need ambulances… need to help the drivers start the vehicles…”
Start the vehicles?
Eish. For a moment, I thought society had decided EMS is also a mobile mechanic service.
Next call: “Paramedic, please fix my alternator.”

Replay the message…
Replay again…
Brain loads like Windows XP… Then it hits:
The drivers aren’t trying to START anything — they’re STUCK.

That was the moment my coffee accepted defeat.

We launch onto the N2 at emotionally-illegal speeds.
The group chat chirps, “Any service mobile?”
No time. We’re already Schumachering, chasing an ambulance that was ahead of us…

Blink once — and it disappears from the rear-view like it entered witness protection.

🚧 ARRIVING: A SCENE STRAIGHT OUT OF THE PITT

Two bakkies - One head-on.

One bakkie decided to park diagonally across the N2 — as if proudly displaying all its damage like it’s auditioning for a scrapyard calendar…
Meanwhile, the other bakkie clearly thought, ‘Yoh, let me keep my distance,’ and came to a confused halt a short way up the road.

Before I get to the patient, a guy rushes up shouting:
“I need gloves!”
I ask, “And you are…?”
“I’m a traffic officer!”
Perfect. I hand him traffic cones because cars were squeezing through the wreckage like they were auditioning for Fast & Furious: Kwambo Drift.

Inside the bakkie, our patient is properly trapped.
Dashboard on his legs.
Steering column leaning on him like it fell asleep.
Off-duty nurse jumps in. Fire guys jump in.

🧯 THE EXTRICATION THEME SONG BEGINS
We stabilise what we can in a space so tight I could feel the air judging us.
Another fire rescue engine is summoned for rescue equipment.

Other driver? Also trapped, but less seriously injured.
Second ambulance arrives.
We point them up the road like traffic marshals with purpose.

Road is slippery with oil.
One misstep and any one of us could’ve become a YouTube clip titled “Paramedic vs Gravity.”
Closing another lane for safety.

Then rescue begins:
🔧 Cutters scream.
🔧 Jaws pry.
🔧 Ram pushes metal like it owes them money.
The Jaws of Life cried a little.

Dashboard lifts.
Patient breathes easier.
Universe gives us one small victory.
We get him out — another IV up, fractures splinted, wounds dressed — and I’m sweating like a politician during questioning.

📞 THE HOSPITAL SCENE: THE FULL “THE PITT” EXPERIENCE
Call hospital.
Give update in one single breath.
Immediately regret not training as an opera singer.

We load. We go.

Every pothole:
“Please behave… not now… please…”
(Pothole does not behave.)

Arrive at hospital — and THIS is where it gets TV-level dramatic:
The in-charge doctor is already waiting at the door,
while the rest of the team is lined up in resus like it’s a choreographed scene from The Pitt.
You can practically hear the:
“Ready… 1, 2, 3 — MOVE!”
as the patient slides from stretcher to hospital bed with military precision.

My handover is done in four short breaths, sweating like an overworked sprinkler system.

📝 THE PAPERWORK: A TRAGEDY IN SEVERAL ACTS
Let’s just say the list of injuries nearly required a table of contents.

❓ SO HOW DID IT HAPPEN?
No time to ask any bystanders — we were too busy keeping the patient alive.

But from the wreckage, one thing is clear:
A driver crossed a line that was never meant to be crossed —
and the consequences arrived harder than expected.

It’s the kind of decision you regret instantly…
and then wish you could Ctrl+Z in real life.

And no… we still don’t start vehicles. Only hearts and chaos.

🚑 CLOSING THOUGHT
Stay in your lane — literally, figuratively, emotionally.
Slow down at accident scenes — we like our bones unbroken.
And remember:
When Monday steals your coffee, at least dark humour is still free.
Stay safe, stay sharp, stay lekker. 💙🚑🔥






.

25/11/2025

🌟 The Girl Who Took the Shortest Flight to Paris 🌟

Some mornings are quiet… too quiet. Then suddenly:

“RED CODE. High school. 15-year-old. Fallen. ALS required.”

Silence? Gone.
Coffee? Forgotten.
Us? Sprinting like we’re warming up for the Comrades.

We fly past FiveWays, sirens working overtime. Even that one taxi driver — you know the one — actually moved aside. That’s when we knew today was blessed. The school guard saw the red lights and opened the gate faster than a kid hiding contraband snacks.

I walk into the clinic expecting tears, panic, drama…
Nope.
There she is, lying on the bed with a swollen knee and a smile big enough to power Eskom.

So I open with the standard:
“Why you chasing the boyfriends down the stairs?”
She snorts laughing. “I wasn’t chasing ANYONE! I literally just tripped!”
Good — conscious, orientated, and funnier than half my family.

Her knee looks like it borrowed a tennis ball, so while I prep the IV, she asks, “Is the drip going to hurt?”
“No,” I say, “much less painful than falling down stairs.”
She blinks — IV in.
“Wait… that was it?”
Professional flex: completed.

Crew arrives. Advanced Paramedic starts the checklist.
Allergies?
One of us adds, “Doctors, hospitals, needles… stairs.”
She bursts out laughing: “Definitely the stairs!”

Then comes the pain score.
“On a scale of 1 to 10 — what’s your pain?”
She doesn’t even hesitate:
“9.5.”
We all stop.
A point five.
She explains, dead serious, “It’s not 9. It’s not 10. It’s 9.5.”
I swear I nearly needed oxygen.

Then the Advanced medic explains ketamine — side effects, hallucinations, the whole textbook.
“Some people feel like they’re travelling. Think of somewhere you’ve been on holiday.”
She shrugs, “Only been to Cape Town.”
“That’s fine, you can go back.”
She looks him dead in the eye:
“Actually… I want to go to PARIS.”

Ohhhhkay then. We tell her, “Bon voyage — travel safe!”

We start the slow push.
She says, “Nothing’s happening.”
Three seconds later:
“Guys… I think… I’m boarding.”

Perfect.
Splinting team: GO.
We remove the temporary support, align the leg, apply proper splints — not a single flinch.
Our girl is too busy taking croissant selfies with the Eiffel Tower.

Then suddenly she snaps back:
“I didn’t reach Parys!”
I ask, “Shame, was your flight cancelled?”
She giggles: “Yoh… turbulence.”

Pain score now: 4.5.
Attitude score: still 10/10.

We load her into the ambulance. As I turn to leave, she grabs my arm gently and says:

“You’re so funny… please don’t go.”

And honestly?
With a patient like her — brave, chaotic, hilarious — I didn’t want to leave either.

Some calls fix more than injuries.
Some calls fix our day.

21/11/2025

07/11/2025

😔 Real talk for a minute…
Most of you know me for the laughs, the wild stories, and the humour that keeps us going on the job. That's how we cope!
But this one’s different. Really different.

I’ve read this story so many times — and even though I wrote it, it still hits me hard every single time. 💔
Because some things you can’t joke away.

Please take a few minutes to read it.
It might change the way you see things next time you drive past flashing lights. 🚑

⚠️ HELP ⚠️
Why—why—why?
Why am I reliving the biggest nightmare of my life?
What did I do to deserve this burning, this pain that won’t stop?
🔥 My body is on fire.

The morning started like every other morning.
Wake up. Brush my teeth. Wash my face.
The mirror fogs, the routine plays out, my mind already racing ahead to the day.

Outside, the sky presses low and grey.
🌧️ Rain spits against the glass.
I throw on my coat, shout goodbye to the family, and run for the car before the downpour hits.

The wipers beat. The roads shine black.
Five kilometres to work. Just five.
Deadlines. Messages. Bills. Just another normal Monday. 😮

Then headlights—blinding, wrong lane, coming fast.

The Collision 💥
Time collapses.
My chest locks. My mind screams move!
Tyres scream louder.
The steering wheel jerks. The car skids down the embankment. There is no time to pray, only to feel everything explode at once.

💥 A bang like thunder trapped in metal.
Glass explodes. The world tilts.
Then nothing moves except the rain.

Sparks. Smoke. Heat.
Someone shouting: “Vehicle on fire! Get help—NOW!”

I can smell it—plastic, rubber, flesh.
The fire crawls up my legs.
I pull, kick, push—but the seatbelt holds me tight.

🔥 “HELP! I AM TRAPPED! HELP!”

A blast of white foam, a man tried with an extinguisher. It dies fast.
The flames roar back, hungrier.

Breathing hurts. My lungs fill with smoke.
Pain tears through me—then stops.
Everything turns white.

I’m above it now. Floating. Watching my lifeless body burning.

The fire lights up the trees, sends sparks into the sky.
Rain hisses against the heat, but can’t stop it.

More people park on road side.
People gather.
Phones rise.
Screens glow blue against orange flame.

A woman in a pink dress holds her phone steady, one hand on her hip.
A man swears softly, but films closer.
Someone mutters, “Oh Jesus,” without moving a step.

🚒 Sirens slice through the chaos.
Firefighters leap from the truck, shouting orders.
Paramedics right behind them, soaked, choking on smoke.
They fight the blaze like it’s personal.

A young medic yells, “Move back! Give us space!”
Nobody listens.
She pushes through the crowd, shoulders shaking.
A bystander’s phone grazed her face.

She shoves it down, voice cracking—“He’s still in there!”

But I’m not. Not anymore.

The flames finally die to black smoke.
Steam rises like ghosts.
Police tape flutters.
Phones still peek through gaps.

Someone laughs nervously.
Another whispers, “I think he’s gone.”
Traffic slows just enough for more cameras to record.

Then I see them—my family—
running up the road through puddles and chaos.

My wife’s hand covers her mouth.
My son grips her leg, staring wide-eyed at the wreck.

They know that car.
They know that coat.
They know that voice screaming in the video that’s already online.

📱 A stranger posts it first:
“Massive crash! Driver trapped! 🔥😱”
Hundreds share it before the fire’s even out.

Her phone buzzes with notifications as she stands at the barrier.
Someone shows her the video—without realising it’s me.
Her knees buckle.
My son screams.
And still—someone films them crying. 💔

The emergency workers move slower now.
Their faces are calm but their eyes aren’t.
They cut through the wreck, careful, respectful, like dignity can still be rescued.

They still care.
Around them, phones still glow.
No one sees the difference between documenting and disrespecting.

Later, when the road reopens, cars pass slowly.
Someone uploads a “final edit” of my death—with music.
It trends for days.

People cry in the comments.
Some say, “So sad 😢🙏”
Others argue about who was at fault.
No one deletes the videos.

And I wonder—
when you scroll past that clip,
when you hear those last cries for help echo through your phone speaker,

❓ What if it isn’t a stranger?
What if it’s your brother?
Your wife?
Your child?

Would you still press record?
Or would you finally be the help someone needed?
Because I didn't need the views. I just needed you!

02/11/2025

There are nights on the road that stay with you — not because of the chaos, but because of the quiet after it.
When the lights fade, the sirens stop, and you realize… sometimes all it takes to save a life is to show up.

That moment inspired my next song — “Help Somebody (Light It Up)”, a track about hope, action, and the power we all have to be someone’s rescue team.

🚑 You don’t need a uniform to make a difference.
🔥 You just need heart.

🎧 Release Date: 14 NOVEMBER 2025
🎵 Available everywhere — Spotify, iTunes, Apple Music, YouTube Music, Shazam, iHeartRadio, and more.
🔗 Pre-save now: https://sl1nk.com/8AwHB

From one paramedic to everyone out there doing their best — this one’s for you.
Let’s light it up.
— Joe The Paramedic

01/10/2025

🚨🔥 N2 Kwambo Rubbernecking Kombat 🔥🚨

👀 When the wreck looks juicier than the road ahead, rubberneckers turn the N2 into a soapie set. Today, we nearly had Season 3 live on location. 👀

Wednesday morning — but felt like a payday Friday. My WhatsApp rings…
“Hi, is this the ambulance?”
“Yes, Sir…” didn’t even get to finish the caller tune before he cuts in:
“Serious accident on N2 Chicken Station towards Kwambo!” Click – call drops.

Next call comes in hot:
“Are you available?”
“N2 Chicken Station?”
“Yes.”

Update control, jump into the response vehicle, and sirens become an alarm for those still in bed. Early morning lights flashing, smooth sailing all the way. No school traffic, lekker ride, until we reach the R34 / N2 intersection.

Now here’s the joke — cars chilling in the emergency lane. I suppose their emergency is “get to work before the boss”. Meanwhile, actual emergency services are trying to get to work-work.

Then one oke takes a slow left onto the N2, busy chatting on his cell, giving me the death stare like I’m the problem. If that glare had horsepower, we’d already be in the panelbeater’s workshop. 🙄

Shoutout, though — the real legend who moved over and slowed down so we could pass. Respect, bru. 👊 That’s how it’s done.

We push through Nseleni, N2 Chicken Station… nothing 😵‍💫. Scene’s quiet, traffic normal. Right, let’s roll Kwambo side — and there it is.

Services already on scene, chaos split in two. Quick update: minor injuries on the right, left side, looks heavy.

👉 Right side: Two vehicles. I ask the traffic officer, “Where’s the injured officer?” He replies, “We’re all involved. You can speak to any of us.” Took a second, then I rephrased, “The officer in the damaged traffic vehicle — where’s he?” Face changes, “Ohh, okay, he’s over there. No injury.”

This time, traffic wasn’t controlling traffic — they were traffic. The officer stopped in the emergency lane to call for help after seeing Pajero roll-over. The next thing Hyundai comes in hot and sends the X-Trail to another dimension. Officer shaken, but composed. Duty is still calling.

👉 Hyundai: Yoh, peeps. Proper mess. Bonnet peeled like a sardine tin, engine with a degloving injury, airbags popped out like pap pillows. Long surgery is coming for the panelbeaters, but the science worked — everyone walked with minor injuries.

👉 Pajero: Left side, lying solo, looks like it just finished 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. Roof bruised, windows gone, windscreen folded. Driver critical, medics working flat-out to stabilize.

And then — I recognise the face. ER Doctor. Out of comfort zone big time. No nurse to shout orders at, no neat trolley at arm’s reach. Out here? Grass, dust, leaking petrol, shouting people. Prehospital chaos is like watching the same DSTV series you know — just louder, unscripted, and no adverts. Welcome to the grass-floor theatre, Doc. 💉🔥

Now picture this: medics running, vehicles smashed, sirens still echoing. And then comes the DSTV repeat. Rubberneckers slowing down, filming, eyes off the road. One driver is so busy playing cameraman that he nearly takes out a medic crossing. Within minutes, we almost had Episode 3.

Let’s recap:

The officer stops legally to call for help.

Hyundai rubbernecks and smashes into him.

Minutes later, another driver nearly wipes out a paramedic doing the same thing.

Like DSTV repeats, bru — same script, new actors.

⚠️ SAFETY TIP:
• Flashing lights? Slow down, bru, it’s not a disco.
• Eyes on the road, not the wreck.
• Reflective jackets = real people, not traffic cones.
• We’re short on medics and traffic officers — don’t turn us into bowling pins.

👉 And here’s the truth: Paramedics and traffic officers are starting to feel like endangered species. There's only a few of us left, and once we're gone...who's gonna catch you when you crash? Treat us like rhinos on the road - rare, precious, and worth protecting.

Respect to considerate drivers who did slow down and give way. You kept us safe to do our job. 🙌

Speedy recovery to all the injured. Today we’re grateful — no lives lost, only vehicles written off. Cars can be replaced. People can’t.

30/09/2025

⛰️🚑 When the Drakensberg Relocated to Empangeni 🚑⛰️

Pay weekend Saturday night, just after 7pm, the radio cracks alive: “Serious accident, Empangeni.”
From relaxed mode to turbo in seconds — literally. The response vehicle had just come out of ICU on Friday after two months of turbo issues (even the response had to take sick leave 🤣). No time for a light- duty comeback… straight to redline, lights and sirens slicing through town.

I swing down Louis Botha — then realise, nah, this is Paul Ave 🙈. Right around the corner from my old place nogal. Quick detour, and I roll up to a scene that looked like a movie set: headlights scattered, bystanders buzzing, cars crumpled like coke cans and road completely blocked.

In the Polo, a man sits with a towel pressed firm against an open wound. Across the road, the bakkie’s front wheel is folded sideways, suspension hanging like it just gave up on life. Both cars nose-to-nose, battered, glass sparkling on the tar like confetti.

No SAPS or traffic yet — EMS first on scene, trying to bring calm. Between the flashing lights and crowd chatter, you could feel the tension. Later SAPS and traffic arrived, taking control, but one officer especially worried about the injured oke, trying to convince him: “Go to hospital, my man.” Still, the injured man refused. That’s his right — though Sunday morning would surely remind him different, once the adrenaline wore off. At least his vitals were stable and an eye kept on him while on scene.

The other occupants of Polo only needed a band-aid and reassurance, while the bakkie occupants escaped injury.

And the cause of this chaos? Not late-night jolling, not reckless spinning. Nah, something stranger: the Drakensberg decided to relocate to Empangeni.

Right there in the middle of the road, fresh from a “manhole repair,” a massive block of tar had been dumped. Not a pothole fix, not a new speed bump — a whole mountain sleeping across the lane, hidden just after a bend in a dark spot. The bakkie came round, braked too late, and boom — mountain first, Polo second.

Tow trucks cleared the wreckage, residents shook heads in frustration, and the mountain of tar sat there like the villain in a bad action movie.

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💡 Takeaway:

Don’t be fooled by adrenaline — it numbs pain, but by sunrise, the body tells the truth. Hospital check-ups aren’t optional, they’re smart.

And remember, slowing down gives you time to dodge the surprises our roads keep serving. Sometimes it’s taxis, sometimes it’s potholes… and sometimes, it’s the Drakensberg.

Stay safe out there, mense. Roads aren’t a game — but in Empangeni, they sure feel like an obstacle course. 🛑

25/09/2025

🚨 Incident Report: Pole Dancing Showdown – CIT vs Traffic Light / Truck (R34, outside Quality Cars) 🚨

Month-end admin… you know that torture where the numbers on spreadsheet runs around like dancing ants at a party. Then boom — emergency group pings on the computer screen…

Eye catches the words: Cash-In-Transit, Quality Cars!
Sho, that’s all we need! Admin forgotten, Coffee half-drunk, team is on the way. Barely out the gate and there it is — the day’s entertainment show.

Right outside Quality Cars, the CIT van has clearly decided it’s time to show off some pole-dancing moves. Shame, the poor traffic light pole wasn’t built for those kind of moves. It’s lying flat, bent like a cheap vleis fork at a braai, lights smashed, wires hanging out like it just went ten rounds with Eskom.

The armored van? Yoh. Bonnet folder, bumper hangin like it ows money. Definitely not “quality car” standards for the dealership watching across the way road.

Quick check on the crew:
“Are you okay?” – “Ja, bru, I’m fine.”
“Are you okay?” – “Ja, also fine.”
Even the last guy wedged inside gives us a nod, just looking a bit skrik and probably wishing he’d taken a taxi instead.

So, what happened? Eish, the story’s still a bit fuzzy. From what we can gather, one truck was turning in the intersection while the CIT carried on straight. Driver reckons he put his full weight on the brakes — both feet, body, soul, the lot —but the tank said “Ag, no ways, I’m going.” Next thing, boom — the tank on the island, trying out Strictly Come Dancing with a traffic light. The other truck? Parked a bit down the road, chilled, like a tannie watching the neighbours over the garden fence.

And then… the magic words: Cash-In-Transit.
Suddenly SAPS came flying in from every direction, blue lights flickering like it’s December 31st in Durban. Fire & Rescue pitch and Traffic too. Whole squad ready for front row seats at the dance-off.

Recovery? Yoh, not child’s play. The tow truck tried, but the tank was stuck solid on that pole like a drunk oke at a jol who won’t leave the mic. Who said the jaws are only for saving lives? Today they were part-time bouncers, prying the tank off its dance partner. With some hard graft, the armoured tank beast was finally lifted free.

Meanwhile, the sparkies (electricians) cut the whole intersection for safety. Cue for instant chaos — Ho***rs going, drivers shouting at each other but nobody giving way. Pure South African traffic choreography — no rules, just vibes!
Finally, the beast was lifted, flatbed loaded with diesel leaking. The only casualty? A very broken pole and one less working traffic light.

Manager’s wipe his brow and sums it up perfectly: “Better an accident than a heist.” And bru, he’s right — bent poles beat bullets any day.

💡 Moral of the story:
On the R34, even a CIT van can’t pull off pole dancing. Poles bend, drivers skrik, traffic goes bos… but admin? That devil still waits back at the office.