19/08/2025
I wanted to share this lesson because it’s one so many of us need — not only as parents of adolescents, but also in our marriages, our friendships, and our families.
Sometimes before we can truly see someone else’s hurt, we first need to take off the glasses of our own pain.
👉 You can read my full post and story on my page.
✨ ✨ TUESDAY LESSONS FROM MY OWN JOURNEY ✨ ✨
A few years back, when my son was being bullied at school, I made a mistake I didn’t even realise at the time. Even though I knew about the brain, even though I had the tools, I still fell into the same trap so many of us do.
THE TRAP:
Instead of seeing HIS PAIN for what it was, I let my OWN MEMORIES of being hurt as an adolescent colour the way I understood and responded to him.
And because of that, I couldn’t give him the support he really needed.
WHY?
Because I was seeing his situation through the GLASSES OF MY OWN PAST, not through his eyes.
THE LESSON:
Before responding to your child’s EMOTIONAL PAIN, pause and ask yourself —
Am I seeing this through their eyes, or through the PAINFUL LENS of my own adolescent hurts?
THE SCIENCE BEHIND IT:
Neuroscience shows that when we witness our child’s pain, our empathy circuits don’t just react to their hurt — they also light up with echoes of our own. And if we don’t notice that, we risk reacting to ourselves instead of them.
THE REMINDER I HOLD ONTO:
👉 Take off the glasses of your past hurt, so you can truly see, hear, and support the person in front of you.
