Tehilla Luttig Private Practice

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Tehilla Luttig Private Practice

For parents in marital despair
1:1 | Groups | e-Courses
& Healing Affairs
https://linktr.ee/tehillan

In today’s world where the nuclear family is rare (either broken, no longer recognised or where both parents work), counselling or psychological intervention has become a necessity. Not only are the children confused and without boundaries; but the parent(s) are exposed, and put into situations of uncertainty as they often cannot raise the child(ren) as they themselves where raised. Media, violence, divorce, re-marriage (blended families) and medication puts additional pressure, ambiguity and insecurity on the families. Counsellors who are registered with the HPCSA (Health Professions Counsel of South Africa) are trained professionals who have completed their honours degree, mastered their board exams and are upheld by the very high ethical standards set by the health professions counsel (this is the same board that all doctors have to register with). Counselling offers a safe, private setting orientated at supporting individuals and families to function smoothly. Counsellors are trained to work with life events that detract from healthy / happy living. Anything from coping with bereavement or divorce to truancy and academic performance can be addressed with counselling. It is also a great way of getting re-connected with your partner and rebuilding love that once was (not the same, but stronger).

10/12/2025

• Your relationships tend to be difficult or dramatic.

• You find decision-making a real challenge.

• You really, really hate to let other people down.

• ‘people pleaser‘.

• Two words – guilt and anxiety.

• You are often tired for no apparent reason.

• Your radar is off when it comes to sharing.

• You tend to overshare or suffer intimacy issues.

• You are constantly the victim of situations.

• The sort of person that things always seem to go wrong for

• You are a tiny bit annoyed most of the time.

• You secretly feel that others don’t show you respect.

• The other side of this coin is that without your own boundaries you are less likely to recognize those of others, and might unwittingly be disrespecting them.

• You might just be passive-aggressive.

• You often wonder who you really are.

• Struggle to set goals. You might even have an identity crisis.

• Your secret fear is being rejected or abandoned.

• You are an open book

• You feel someone is walking all over you

• You feel you have lost your voice

• No one listens to you

• You are suffering from a depressed mood or anxiety

• People use you or you feel used

• You just feel awful

Just a quick google search of signs someone is struggling with 𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦!!!

That’s from a quick search.

What would having healthier boundaries mean to you? Let me know in the comments.

10/12/2025

I thought requests were boundaries and something they should just listen to.

I thought respect was enough - and that compliance meant respect.

I got it but I didn’t get it. At some level I figured this amount of love and asking nicely would be enough.

I didn’t realize that parenting was more complicated than that. For example - a request is not a boundary unless I’m willing to follow through / take action on it.

And that children are children and it’s their job to test our boundaries and make sure they’re safe with us holding the forte.

“Don’t hit your sister!”
“Hurry up for school!”
“Stop jumping on the couches!”
“Do your homework!”

Aren’t boundaries unless we take action. And Not the action we usually end up (for example giving in or yelling).

But getting up and holding them while we say “I won’t let you hurt your sister” or “I can see it’s hard for you to stop jumping on the couches. [I know it’s fun]. But I’m going to help you off as I can see it’s too hard for you!” Or “If I need to keep reminding you to get ready for school (age appropriate) then I can’t make your lunches. Would you prefer to wake up half hour earlier or need a list or what so I can make lunches?“

These are just random examples. I’m wanting to illustrate that requests don’t become boundaries unless we make them boundaries.

And boundaries are the actions we take.

I prefer requests and conversations in relationships. In our parenting and adult relationships.

But if we’re drowning in exhaustion and / or resentment we can be pretty sure we’ve gotten some requests that need to become boundaries. Needs that aren’t being respected.

09/12/2025

In my work with couples - most of the work I do with them (in my 1:1’s) is deconstructing their childhood and rebuilding their self according to how they would have been should the trauma, neglect, or attachment wounds not have been.

In the process there is a lot of grief work too. Grieving the childhood they didn’t get to have. And often the parent(s) they wanted and deserved but didn’t have.

Without this - it’s so hard to be present and intimate. We tend to have so many filters of expectations and perceptions of experiences based on our first relationships (family and school friends). Walls of protection then, become toxic now.

It’s also important because otherwise we tend to do the same as our parents to us, to our kids (or the opposite but it’s still reactionary and not authentic).

I’m so grateful to BWRT and my unique Body EQ methods to help my clients do this in 90 days or less. And for the clients brave enough to step in and do the work.

I'm not taking on any new clients this year, but do have a very important masterclass on boundaries coming up on the 15th of December. I'd love to have you there. Drop a HEART if you'd like to learn more.

I see you and LOVE what I see.

30/11/2025

Share this with someone that needs to hear this 🥰

29/11/2025

I saw a post the other day that spoke of how the mom doesn’t need more time without kids necessarily but more time not feeling responsible for them and that landed so tangibly.

So many women I work with are drowning with the invisible load of motherhood (yet no one on the outside could tell).

It’s a tricky place to navigate relationships today. So much has changed and because women have much more to gain from it (men actually do too but it’s not as apparent to them as it is to us) many men are still in the old era of “work is enough”. That’s provision. Instead of - that’s something she’s doing too.

And as much as I’d like to say there’s an easy 3 step process to getting him to see the invisible load naturally like you do, there isn’t. But it is possible!

And to build towards that is often starting with giving ourselves permission to not need to carry it all, not need to do it perfectly (perfection isn’t a standard, its a judgment) and permission to receive support

The stronger we’ve become the harder it’s become to soften into the love we desire. The price of being in control is lack if trust.

But it is possible and there are many men eager to provide in many other ways (like providing responsibility free time with the family).

We don’t do it by dropping our standards but rebuilding them together. That’s the work I’m passionate about. Breaking generational cycles and building our own happily ever afters that tailor-suit you as a couple - not just the cover pic but all the pages in between.

Join my boundaries masterclass on 15 December. Thanksgiving showed you where the boundaries need to be. Now let’s set them BEFORE Christmas. DM me boundaries for the link.

I see you and I love what I see!

28/11/2025

It’s here!!

Thanksgiving showed you where the boundaries need to be. Now let’s set them BEFORE Christmas.

Permission Granted: The Boundaries & Resentment Masterclass - December 15th
First 10: $37 | After that: $97

Learn to protect your peace without guilt, and walk into Christmas as the woman you want to be - not the exhausted one running on fumes.

In this masterclass you will discover:

Why boundaries feel so hard to set (and what to do about it, minus the guilt)

The difference between boundaries (one creates connection, the other creates distance)

How to identify what you actually need - because you can't set a boundary around a need you haven't noticed yet

A simple framework for setting boundaries - kind, clear, and easy to implement

What resentment really is - and how it's actually showing you where boundaries are missing or being ignored (it's not the enemy, it's data)

How to use resentment as a compass instead of letting it poison your relationships

Why your past boundaries didn't land - and how to course-correct with confidence

One boundary you can practice this week that will shift how you show up to the holidays

DM me "BOUNDARIES" for the link

28/11/2025

Can we talk about that thing that happens in relationships where you ask your partner for something, they do it consistently for a week or two, and then… it just slowly fades back to how it was before?

And here’s the thing - it’s so gradual that you might not even notice for a month. Then suddenly you’re like, “wait, didn’t we talk about this?”

I’ve been thinking about why this happens, and it’s actually pretty understandable:
Our brains are literally wired with patterns that took years to form.

Changing them requires constant, intentional effort.

When we’re stressed, tired, or overwhelmed, we default back to our old programming - it’s just how our nervous system works.

Also, and this is important:

the change needs to come from genuinely seeing the value in it - even if that value is “this matters to my partner and our relationship.”

When someone makes a change just to keep the peace or avoid conflict, they’re actually creating a bigger problem: now their partner has to carry the burden of being the accountability police. And that’s exhausting and unsustainable for everyone.

If you can’t connect to why the change matters - whether for yourself, for them, or for the relationship you’re building together - it’s going to fade. Every time.

This isn’t about anyone being a bad partner. It’s about the very real challenge of rewiring decades of habits and finding changes that we can genuinely get behind, not just comply with.

The key is having grace for the slip-ups, gently reminding each other, and maybe asking ourselves: do I actually see the value in this change, or am I just going through the motions?

Anyone else experience this? How do you navigate it?

11/11/2025

What you need to know about connecting with your partner:

1.His logic isn't necessarily your logic (and vice versa).
2. The longer you know each other isn't an excuse to stop getting to know ech other (we change over the years, staying curious helps us grow in desire for each other and stay close).
3. Do you trust him? why not? What are you going to do about this? (See my other reels on trust if need to).
4. Make sure the timing of your discussions make sense to both of you. The saying don't go to bed angry - doesn't mean don't go to bed until you've spoken something completely through.
5. Don't assume. Ask. No matter how sure you are about why they did something, unless you ask you cannot be certain. And many an ass has been made from our assumptions.
6. Do you trust you? If not, why not?
7. Are you comfortable with your emotions?
8. Are you comfortable with his emotions?
9. Do you feel comfortable receiving? E.g. when someone gives you a compliment - do you blush and redirect or dismiss it? If so, you might benefit from some healing so your partner can give you the love you desire.
10. What fears from childhood are you bringing into this relationship?

These can be tough questions, but the more honest you are with yourself (where vulnerability for intimacy starts) the better your connections can be.

Which of these are you committed to working on first?

10/11/2025

5 things my dog knows that I’m still learning:

1. He never feels like a burden when he comes for affection. He assumes love is available.

2. When he asks for cuddles, he actually ends up making us feel better. Receiving isn’t selfish. It’s healing.

3. He stretches every time he wakes up. No productivity guilt, just presence. And honestly? There are real benefits: stretching boosts circulation, wakes up the nervous system, eases stiffness, and resets stress. He’s basically doing nervous system hygiene without even knowing it.

4. After a tense moment on a walk, he shakes his whole body to release it. No overthinking, no grudges, just reset. (Try this after a fight or fright. It’s magic.)

5. He’s noticeably more grumpy if he doesn’t get his daily walk. Movement matters. Rhythm matters.

Some days I think I’m teaching him.
But really, he’s teaching me.

Especially about the kind of self-trust that doesn’t over-explain or apologize.
The kind that simply knows what it needs-and moves toward it.

Which of these lessons do you need to borrow from your “inner dog” today? 🐾

Drop a comment or tag someone who needs this reminder!

09/11/2025

Are you showing yourself the same kindness you give others?

Drop a ❤️ if you’re ready to start.

08/11/2025

Perfection is nuanced. I’m pretty disorganized and messy. I thought it meant I wasn’t perfectionistic.

But I realized how hard I was on myself when I made a mistake.

It’s not my harshness that makes me a good therapist coach wife or mom. But when we believe it is, we hold on to it so tight.

You’re doing great despite that bullying. Imagine what you can Accomplish without it!!

(And if you worry that “giving in” to your grace means you’ll binge watch Netflix and never do anything meaningful again - it’s not true- you not being lazy but you recognizing how exhausted you are. The sooner you realize it and rest the less you’re going to suffer for it later when your body just can’t anymore. Autoimmune is, I believe, a lot to do with how we talk to ourselves and suppressing our feelings. How can body keep protecting us well when we treat it like the intruder?!)

If you want me in your pocket for a month of telegram support - going to do 2 spots for $500 each again. (Just 2. Then it goes to $750 again).

These spots flew like wild fire

- It’s less “personal” so you can share easier. - It’s in real time so they can share as it happened.
- It’s deep cause I don’t hold back.

DM me if you want to know more.

Otherwise drop your thoughts on the post bellow 🥰❤️

I see you and I love what I see.

07/11/2025

Have you ever faced a choice you didn’t like, but knew was the right one?

Address

7200

Telephone

+27280010555

Website

http://www.thecouplesconnection.com/

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